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I was just told that my husband was having an affair. This…

I was just told...

I was just told that my husband was having an affair. This woman kind of bragged how she went with my husband on a motor bike trip. She happened to tell her neighbor about it and how my husband took her to a cabin which he built. Now can I sue for adultery even though I can't prove it

Lawyer's Assistant: What steps have been taken? Have any papers been filed in family court?

No, I am in Alberta, Canada.

Lawyer's Assistant: Family law varies by state. What state are they in?

In Alberta, Canada

Lawyer's Assistant: Anything else you want the lawyer to know before I connect you?

Because this is hear say do I need physical proof.

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Answered in 2 hours by:
11/14/2017
ulysses101
ulysses101, Lawyer
Category: Canada Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 3,703
Experience: Over 10 years litigation experience in family, criminal, and civil law
Verified

Hello, thank you for the question.

Are you separating? Already separated?

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Customer reply replied 3 months ago
Still in the same house, but he is downstairs and I am upstairs.

Hello. I'm back. I'm sorry I left your question thread but I got wrapped up in a court matter late in the week and haven't been on the site at all. Normally when I'm away for 24 hrs another expert will pick up my threads, but I don't know why that didn't happen to your question.

May we continue discussing your matter?

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Customer reply replied 3 months ago
In all honesty I would like email as the phone, the man downstairs seems to listen in.
Customer reply replied 3 months ago
I prefer that you do not call. My "husband" listens in. I would prefer email.
Customer reply replied 3 months ago
HOW CAN I SUBMIT AND MARK THE STARS WHEN I DO NOT HAVE INFORMATION I NEED. SO I CAN NOT GIVE A RATING.
Customer reply replied 3 months ago
I WOULD PAY BUT DON'T KNOW WHERE. i WOULD LIKE TO HEAR WHATCustomerLAWYER HAS TO SAY.

OK, I don't do phone calls. I won't call.

You can't rate yet because I haven't answered you.

So we're back in touch. That's good. You were asking about whether you can sue the "other woman", any new information or anything to tell me?

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Customer reply replied 3 months ago
You can't ask anymore because they are just going to lie. I got the answer from the horses mouth but if I go any further they're just going to lie. My so called husband does not want to go thru lawyers as it is expensive. I don't know what to do cause I get 50% of everything and am very sure he is hiding a lot. I have not seen a bill, I have not seen any bank statements. Why are we hiding? Can I go through a lawyer part of the way to see what is rightfully mine. My opinion he screwed his rights and i get everything. The thing is, it's hear say. We will be selling our home quarter that we live on. to sell it would be 400,000.00. so Sandy gets 200,000.00 and to take my name off the title of another quarter we own which is 8 miles south of here. From my daughter, mom take what's rightfully yours. What is rightfully mine? I would say everything. But I am miss goody two shoes and don't want to hurt anyone but I bounce back and forth. What is he hiding and is it part of mine? That's why I am asking if I could go through a lawyer part way to see what is rightfully mine. Present it to my husband and see what he says. He wants a do it yourself divorce and in the end the lawyer looks at it. I really don't know what to do. Even though from the day we got married, well so did mentalabuse. His extra activities can not prove and yet there is a part that we can. If our home quarter is assessed at 400,000.00 then I get 200,000.00 but what about what he is hiding and can I live on 200,000.00. I am not well, I have 32 diseases. So I don't know which way I can go. It is just a mess. I hope you can straighten things out for me. Then I know what to do. I also look into the future when theremightbe a time when we are at the same place at the same time. He wants to remain friends. But if one friend is screwing the other out of what is rightfully hers then what.
Customer reply replied 3 months ago
I forgot to mention we have a company, Vanderwolf Electrical Enterprises Ltd. He has 51% and myself I have 49%. Husband took away my signing privilages as I tried to divorce him 4 years ago and was told to drain all accounts. There is the company that I feel the 50% is mine. Just letting you know.
Customer reply replied 3 months ago
Another thing, we used to farm on the side. So there is machinery, we had cows but sold all of them. No I did not see the money from the cows. Our daughter who has prayed we get divorced says, "Mom, this man will assess everything, don't do anything til it's all assessed" I told her, sure assess everything but is everything there??

I see this all the time. Your husband wants to separate but he doesn't want to divide any property and he doesn't want you knowing that you're entitled to be supported by him, I'll bet. Go see a lawyer. You need one, for the exact purposes you're discussing here.

The divorce itself is just a piece of paper saying you're free to remarry. That's the least of your concerns. You can't go on living in the same house this way, and you need someone to take the reins and get the ball rolling on a negotiated settlement, failing which you go to court.

Yes it's expensive; I'm a lawyer and wouldn't want to hire a lawyer. But I don't fix my own car or do my own tax return either. These are services I need which I can't or don't want to do myself and are important, so I hire a professional to do it for me. Ask family and friends for a recommendation and go see good family law lawyer. Many will give a free short initial consultation. After that, they will want some money up front for a retainer, usually between $2000 and $5000. This is normal. The lawyer can't tell you at the outset what the whole think is going to cost or is likely to cost, because the lawyer doesn't know how much time it is going to take so don't go looking for those guarantees.

Don't worry about the adultery. You don't need to have to prove it to separate or to get a divorce. On the other hand, you don't stand to gain anything by proving it either. And in the very old days, you could sue "the other woman" directly for "alienation of affection" but that hasn't been the law in Canada for a long long time. Go see a counsellor or therapist to help you deal with your emotions surrounding this separation, you need to take care of yourself. And get a decent lawyer.

That's the best advice I can give you for now. Don't worry about the details of property division, that will work out in the wash. Anything else about the bigger picture you want to discuss with me?

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Customer reply replied 3 months ago
I must say you are extremely good. But there is more if you don't mind. I am not a well woman, this is a list of my diseases and I deal with each and everyday. Severe Major Depression, Suicidal, Fibromyalgia, Myofacial Pain Syndrome, Osteoporosous, Rhumitoid Arthritis, Osteo Pena, Chronic Pain, Chronic Fatigue, Arthritis, Panic Attacks, Severe Migraines, Blackouts, Memory Loss, Stress, Insomnia, Eyes extremely sensitive to light, small heart attack, mini stroke, menopause, Not to sit too much, walk too much, horizontal is best as it takes the pressure off, Abused, stay away from Negative people and energy, difficult to do housework, Extremely High Potential for MS, Scoleosous, extra vertibre, Complete Exhaustion, Hallucinations, Extremely Fast Weight Gain, high cholesteral, blurred vision, Mood Swings, Mental Confusion, IBS, TMJ, Trouble getting out of bed, Fall Asleep anytime, any where, No confidence (always put down) others are better than me, Trouble Breathing, Constant heartburn, Used, abused and treated like dirt, I am to be treated like fine crystal just waiting to shatter, lack of estrogen and testosterone, thyroid problems. There is more, but I think you get the jist. My main concern is that Case (husband) would use my memory loss and black outs and use them against me. Guess what, he already has. I am not to be alone and yet he takes off and does not think about me at all. There have been times where he hasn't come home in 2 days. EVERYBODY calls his cell, now he can tell me anything, How would I know. eg He is staying at daughter's. Is he really there or not. Arguements, I sit quietly and he shouts. In the meantime there are 3 little girls praying we get divorced. Our children are grown and have blessed us with 16 grandchildren, he has turned 2 of the girls against me. He could fix it so I can see my grandchildren, but why? He has the lime light. He is self-centered, uncaring, hillbilly bully. I would love for someone to take the reins. I am a deep thinker, with no self-esteme, he also calls me fat and ugly. Because of doctor error I have put on so much weight. I used to be 90 pounds and 4 feet and 11 inches in height. I do get a disability pension, which he squacks a lot about. But a little over 500.00 goes to pay my meds. There is a lawyer that comes to our town and charges 350.00 per hour. I saw him 2 years ago for answers, when we were done, I handed him the money. He took out a 20 dollar bill and handed the rest back to me. WOW!! I am not in shape to make decisions and 2 years ago was told to take all the money out of our accounts. Because of this, I never seen a bank statement, no bills, no checks nothing!!! I have no idea on how to pay for this lawyer. We have a company but he took away my signing privaliges away. I found a doctor in the US, telling me he could help, almost a year I researched him. No money, (between you and I) I forged a cheque and went to see this doctor. Who died and made him my dad??? If you know of a way that I can get money, I would be pleased if you let me know. Because of the weight I put on, it's causing health issues. More money, in January next year, I am to see this doctor again to get a double treatment. More money. I don't know what to do. If by chance I can retain this lawyer, there is no way to serve him the papers. You want to see fireworks? I think we might have to wait til we sell the home quarter so we are not in the same house. He knows, I am scared of him, actually most men as things happened under the age of 5. Problem, I keep bouncing back and forth..........he's gonna pay for what he did, then to, sell the place, take my 200,000.00 and call it good and get out of here. I would love your input.

Are you not separated at this point? Even though you're "under the same roof" for now, you did say that you're separated? You're either separated or you're not. The separation date is the date upon which it was clear to you both that the spousal relationship is over. Usually it's the date that you physically separate but it doesn't have to be.

If you are separated then he has no moral obligation to let you know where he is or what he's doing.

If you need funds to hire a lawyer then contact Legal Aid through its website. Find you where the nearest legal aid offices are, what legal aid services are available at court and when, and go see them. You may well qualify for a certificate to hire a lawyer with, which will likely be based on a repayment plan secured by a lien on your property. That's still a good deal, because the certificate will pay to the lawyer who accepts it less than their typical hourly rate, and you don't need a retainer.

If you can't get a legal aid certificate, then go to the bank to see about borrowing against the equity in the home.

As you said, you need help from someone to take the reins and lawyers generally don't work for free.

Does that make sense?

ulysses101
ulysses101, Lawyer
Category: Canada Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 3,703
Experience: Over 10 years litigation experience in family, criminal, and civil law
Verified
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Customer reply replied 3 months ago
Well then we are not separated. I hate to hurt anyone but he drives me to the doctor as I have a 20 mile radius that I can drive. Been thinking, I can borrow money from my brother and sister. With him hiding everything and I mean everything, and the lawyer can find anything that he is hiding. Also, he know about the check. This man is good but not that good, lies, lies ALOT!!! Why? I don't know. As an adult if you did something wrong, own up to it. At this point I don't care what he has done, and he also knows that. Tell the truth or no one will trust you. I want to say thank you, ***** ***** helped me a lot.

You're very welcome. Thanks for the rating.

Please take care of yourself and develop your support network. If you rely upon him solely and too much, you won't be able to separate even if you wanted to.

Ulysses

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Customer reply replied 3 months ago
Sorry, but where do I pay?

You paid by rating. Ratings are how the site and I are paid.

If you have questions about that, you can contact customer service any time.

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Customer reply replied 3 months ago
Oh, okay. And I will add you to my list. Thanks again.
Customer reply replied 2 months ago
Sorry to bother you again, This is Sandy Vanderwolf. I forgot to ask, we have a company Vanderwolf Electrical Ent. Ltd. Does my husband (for now) have to buy me out?
I have 32 diseases, sick, very sick. I have Disability Pension and went down to Germantown, Tennessee and the doctor there did a Stromal Vascular Fraction, almost like stem cells. These stromal cells are in the fat in your body but wished he could have also done a stem cell transplant. But he would not go into my hip as my hip is see through. This cost 9.500.00. Now my account is almost nil. I seriously need a procedure to stay alive. This procedure has a fee from 2000.00 - 7500,00. Does the husband have to pay for this procedure. I was told that this doctor is the best in our province, Alberta

No bother.

The value of the company and its shares are family property, and the value is to be split along the lines laid out by law or as negotiated by the parties.

If the procedure is needed after separation, then your husband isn't required to pay for it. But you clearly have substantial health issues so your entitlement to spousal support is clear.

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