As you are the resident CAS expert on here,
Dear Ulysses, As you are the...
As you are the resident CAS expert on here, I was hoping you could assist. I will try to provide as much detail as possible to aid you in creating an informed response.
I will refer to dad (me) as D, mom as M, child 1 (7 yr old boy) as C1 and child 2 (3 yr old girl) as C2.
Antagonists are G (M's mother/C's grandmother - 70 yrs old), S (M's half-sister), B (M's half-brother). S and B are very distant from M (20 yr age gap from M) and are acquaintances at best. Many negative past experiences between them.
Background: D+M in relationship for 6 years. C1 from M's previous relationship but father is not in the picture, so D has essentially been father since 1 yrs of age. C2 is from D+M's relationship. All relationships are excellent, 2 very happy kids who always have more than enough. Definitely above average parents, well educated, financially secure, very nice and caring. Both kids are also very kind, gentle and wonderful kids (honestly way better than majority of kids their age).
Never any abuse at all.
M was involved in serious car accident in ~10 years ago (not at fault, 2 spinal fractures, rib fracture etc). Has chronic pain and occasionally medicates with "herbal medicine" as it's the only thing that helps. No medical card. Never around kids. Also has significant anxiety issues from accident.
M underwent 2 surgeries in 2012 and 2013. During this time (appx 1.5 yrs), C1 stayed with G (grandma) in Hamilton, ON while M resided with D and C2 in Mississauga. This was understood as temporary while M was healing. Constant visits with C1 and he would be in Sauga every weekend/holiday. End of 2013, we moved to Toronto. Notified G that we would be moving C1 in with us permanently. G essentially went ballistic at this ("over my dead body" etc) and called S+B to assist her. They "detained" M in room for 2 hrs screaming + threatening her. Concluded that THEY decided C1 will be living with G permanently and she needed to sign custody over now. M told me about this afterwards (she was traumatized) and I said there is no way that is going to happen, that is ridiculous. S has friend in CAS Hamilton and she contacted her with a number of false allegations in hopes of declaring M an unfit mother for custody purposes. Did this unknowingly, then told M one day she must come in TODAY to meet with CAS completely out of the blue. Instead, we went and picked up C1 from school and took him to Toronto on a Friday, had him registered into a new (and significantly better) school same day and all was good. C1 was very happy to be finally living with us.
G+S+B went nuts over this. Somehow found out our new TO address (was never provided to them). Called and threatened that police, CAS, etc will be coming and to come back NOW or there will be major consequences. S+B are pretty bad people overall and have major anger/power issues. I guess it really pissed them off that M didn't just bend over and take it from them. We basically ignored them and just tried to focus on kids.
2 weeks later, CAS file is transferred from Hamilton to Toronto by their request. I was overseas at the time for 2 weeks and M was home alone with both kids. Worker comes to visit - M ignored as she did not know who it was and was fearful. 2 days later worker came again. M knew who it was and was terrified, avoided contact. Actually fainted from this for about 30 mins and ended up picking up C1 from school late. Next day worker goes to the school and attempts to question C1. We had filed a document indicating they must contact us if this happens (as we had thought it may). School called M and she refused, instead set up an appt for 2 days later. M called me while overseas very upset. I called CAS and requested him to wait until I returned (about 1.5 wks), he refused and said she needs to meet tomorrow or he will goto court/police. So I told her to meet with him (she was very scared) and I was on speakerphone as well.
He was very biased during meeting and repeatedly accused her of things. Actually asked C1 separately that "M hits you right?" and he said NO, then went to M separately and claimed the C1 said she hits him! C1 told her this afterwards. Wanted her to sign a VSA but she declined saying she wants to think about it. I will provide list of allegations below. He then said he wants to meet with me and C2 as well and I said when I return.
Called him when I return, no answer. Did not pursue it. 3 weeks goes by - so it could not be terribly urgent. During this time, S+B also call police on us with abuse allegations who show up at 8PM to question C1. Quickly concluded this was a waste of time and left. Looked out window and saw S+B downstairs talking to police. They did not look happy. It was definitely an unpleasant surprise and had M shaking.
After 3 weeks, worker again comes by. Has since come by every day or other day and we have avoid answering the door. Am trying to decide how to proceed.
Physical abuse (NEVER) - completely fabricated
Drug use - again, she medicates "herbally" occasionally but nothing beyond that
C1 is scared of M - completely fabricated by G
Late pickup by M - we expressed we understand this is quite serious but it was an isolated incident. Never happened before, never happened since and won't happen again.
C1 has gone to 7 schools in 3 years - false, he has been to 4 in 4 years (incl current one) and there are valid reasons for each move
There may be other false allegations but that is what I am aware of
He wanted her to sign a VSA which included regular visits, drug tests, release of info from all dr's, etc.
I do not think we intend to sign this.
I am debating whether to write him a lengthy email addressing his concerns, providing him photos of the home (clean, they have their own very nice beds, stocked with plenty of food), providing some more information about us as well as the people who made the allegations and then politely declining any further assistance. I am assuming that after this, he will either deem the case inconclusive or proceed to court. I can be quite well-written and convincing if required. Do you think this is a good idea and what are the possible consequences and the likelihood?
Also, the case was originated in Hamilton when M never resided there (while in the case it was stated that she did). Is there any grounds for this to be removed based on that inconsistency? This was likely done because S's friend was in Hamilton CAS.
Are there any other methods for getting this case closed or at least deemed inconclusive?
He has come by 4-5 times in the last week. If we continue to ignore him, what will be the likely scenario? He also did not contact for approx 3 weeks so there cannot be a major sense of urgency. If he had planned to go to court, would he have done so by now? Or is there a chance that he will deem the case inconclusive and stop following up?
If we do not sign the VSA, what will likely occur?
Is there any way to force drug tests on M? If she needs to and gets a positive for "herbals", how damaging is this?
Is it advisable to get her own drug test for every other drug besides that? Will this assist at all (as it's fairly expensive).
What is the best possible way to go about getting a restraining order against S/B/G?
What is a good way to go about getting the worker changed to a different one? I would definitely say ours is one of the worse ones.
Thank you in advance for your assistance. Any further details and advice would be greatly appreciated. Also, hello to a fellow UWO Grad :)