Thanks for your reply Debra. I had submitted an edited version to the document reprinted above. So I want to ensure you have a full set of details to work with in this case. In particular I am looking for a steadfast answer in regard to schooling and reporting requirements of the school to me as the custodial parent as well as his ability to sign himself out from that school. If he is no longer living with me, then have I lost all of my powers over him as the custodial parent, and can he prevent me from acting as such over him on other issues, even if he has chosen to live elsewhere?
Further to this you suggested that I could get a contempt of court hearing against my ex-wife for interfering with my custodial rights as a father. In the end what would this accomplish? Would I be able to get judgement against her for the run up visa bills by my son and costs for court? If so, what else is available for remedies to this situation.
The way I read your answer is that I would not be able to do anything about my son moving out from my care. Am I able to sue the team for a loss of relationship with my son, since they are basically providing him with room and board at a billets house, or is that their choice and the choice of my son?
For your convenience, I have cut and pasted the complete initial letter for you below:
I have full custody of my son who is 16 years old. He will be 17 in June. He plays for an OHL Hockey Team and has billeted with another family since February 2013. The season is now over, I want him home, but he is refusing to come home, and the team is not enforcing my wishes. All of the other kids are home with their respective families.
Having full custody, and given the age of my son, is there anything I can do to enforce my custody of the boy, and get him back under my roof and care, away from the team billet's residence. Further to this, is there anything the boy can do to rebut and prevent me from exercising my custodial rights.
This boy has exhibited terrible behaviour/judgement since being with the billet; for example - he went to Spain for 2 weeks with his girlfriend after the season without telling a sole or me, while failing his school courses; he took me off the school list of people to be notified in the event of his absence, while his mother (with no custody) has apparently signed him out of school for that time. The team also did not apparently know about his trip, but they learned of it before I did.
The school vice principal also informed me that at the age of 16 he doesn't need anybody to sign him out of school, he can do it himself apparently, which was news to me since the new law requires kids to go to school until they are 18. Are these kids to govern themselves to ensure they go to school at 16? This is ridiculous if this is true; Is it?
The mother also has been fighting with the hockey team to ensure the boy does not live back home with me. She was instrumental in getting him out of my house during the OHL hockey season, even though I live in the same city as my son in question. The boy had ran up my visa card without my knowledge with a $750 cell bill charge, in addition to many other charges on my visa which he was not authorized to use. He charged Christmas gifts and many other things on that card as well.
So after he did this, I wanted to invoke some discipline. The punishment was a loss of his phone for 2 weeks. He refused to give up the phone, despite intervention meetings and everything else. So I turned his phone off. His mother completely undermined my authority and went out and got another phone plan for him under her husband's name, despite the fact that they were not paying for the plan, (my son apparently paid for the new plan with the money he was paid from the team). My son had threatened me that if I turned his phone off that he would seek a billet with the team. I couldn't have the tail wagging the dog.
So here we are today. This boy has no discipline, structure or responsibility in his life and all he is learning is how to divide and conquer any parental authority in his life. His mother has exhibited terrible behaviour through this as well and has acted as his enabler.
Since she did that with the phone in February 2012, and since I was stuck paying for my sons stolen phone charges and phone plan, I decided to launch a family court hearing on child support payments which she was not paying since I had the boys from June 2012. (I have our other son living with me full time as well - who is 15 years old.) My ex-wife did not show up to that court appearance on April 5th 2013, but had her husband (cop) send a letter to the court, which had no relevance whatsoever, and nor was it a properly filed document, and nor were any defense or response documents filed as an answer to my documentation within the allotted 30 days.
The result was that I was awarded an uncontested hearing near the end of May/2013. Does this uncontested hearing mean that only I get to speak to the issues, or is my ex-wife allowed to rebut anything I say, despite no materials being filed with the court?
I am told that my ex-wife intends to challenge my custodial rights to the oldest child being billeted, and I am told that he is prepared to sign off/disown me as the custodial parent. At age 16/17 is he able to do this legally? And what can I do about getting him back under my care? Do I need a court order to do this as well, or is the onus on them/my son to get the court order to change custody, and can I defend the change of custody given his age - and if so up until what age - (18 is my guess)?
By the way, I believe my ex-wife's motivation for helping the boy out with legal matters and to move out of my home is driven by her wanting to reduce or eliminate her requirement to pay child support to me for him. She lives in Kingston Ontario, (6 hours away from the boys). What is ironic about this is that I went through aXXXXXbattle in this case to obtain full custody of my oldest son in question, which the boy also wanted. I obtained that full custody in April 2011, but was fighting this round since Sept 2007.
While fighting to get this kid back under my care prior to April 2011, the boy's mother had him locked up in a psychiatric ward for weeks at a time, while forcing him to ingest highly toxic and dangerous antipsychotic drugs that were not even approved for kids under 18 years old. She even put these drugs in his donut, when he refused to take them. She used these drug treatments, (along with several fabricated charges/arrests right in family court with the help of her cop husband) to actually prevent me from having access to my boys through the courts because I disapproved of such useless and unnecessary psychoactive drugs, even though she obtained a friendly doctor to prescribe them. She also did this to help her control the behaviours of my oldest son.
Common sense finally prevailed in the courts, but only after I expended north of $200,000 in legal bills. I now have full custody of both kids. We have been in court for 10 of the last 13 years since being separated in 1998, and divorced since 2002.
Lastly, it is important to note that my oldest son does not wish to live with his mother either, he just wants to live on his own with the support of a hockey team and their billet system, which is of little benefit to the boy in my opinion as far as helping him make something of his life beyond hockey.