I have full custody of my son who is 16 years old. He will…

Thanks for your reply Debra. I had submitted an edited version to the document reprinted above. So I want to ensure you have a full set of details to work with in this case. In particular I am looking for a steadfast answer in regard to schooling and reporting requirements of the school to me as the custodial parent as well as his ability to sign himself out from that school. If he is no longer living with me, then have I lost all of my powers over him as the custodial parent, and can he prevent me from acting as such over him on other issues, even if he has chosen to live elsewhere?

Further to this you suggested that I could get a contempt of court hearing against my ex-wife for interfering with my custodial rights as a father. In the end what would this accomplish? Would I be able to get judgement against her for the run up visa bills by my son and costs for court? If so, what else is available for remedies to this situation.

The way I read your answer is that I would not be able to do anything about my son moving out from my care. Am I able to sue the team for a loss of relationship with my son, since they are basically providing him with room and board at a billets house, or is that their choice and the choice of my son?

For your convenience, I have cut and pasted the complete initial letter for you below:

I have full custody of my son who is 16 years old. He will be 17 in June. He plays for an OHL Hockey Team and has billeted with another family since February 2013. The season is now over, I want him home, but he is refusing to come home, and the team is not enforcing my wishes. All of the other kids are home with their respective families.

Having full custody, and given the age of my son, is there anything I can do to enforce my custody of the boy, and get him back under my roof and care, away from the team billet's residence. Further to this, is there anything the boy can do to rebut and prevent me from exercising my custodial rights.

This boy has exhibited terrible behaviour/judgement since being with the billet; for example - he went to Spain for 2 weeks with his girlfriend after the season without telling a sole or me, while failing his school courses; he took me off the school list of people to be notified in the event of his absence, while his mother (with no custody) has apparently signed him out of school for that time. The team also did not apparently know about his trip, but they learned of it before I did.

The school vice principal also informed me that at the age of 16 he doesn't need anybody to sign him out of school, he can do it himself apparently, which was news to me since the new law requires kids to go to school until they are 18. Are these kids to govern themselves to ensure they go to school at 16? This is ridiculous if this is true; Is it?

The mother also has been fighting with the hockey team to ensure the boy does not live back home with me. She was instrumental in getting him out of my house during the OHL hockey season, even though I live in the same city as my son in question. The boy had ran up my visa card without my knowledge with a $750 cell bill charge, in addition to many other charges on my visa which he was not authorized to use. He charged Christmas gifts and many other things on that card as well.

So after he did this, I wanted to invoke some discipline. The punishment was a loss of his phone for 2 weeks. He refused to give up the phone, despite intervention meetings and everything else. So I turned his phone off. His mother completely undermined my authority and went out and got another phone plan for him under her husband's name, despite the fact that they were not paying for the plan, (my son apparently paid for the new plan with the money he was paid from the team). My son had threatened me that if I turned his phone off that he would seek a billet with the team. I couldn't have the tail wagging the dog.

So here we are today. This boy has no discipline, structure or responsibility in his life and all he is learning is how to divide and conquer any parental authority in his life. His mother has exhibited terrible behaviour through this as well and has acted as his enabler.

Since she did that with the phone in February 2012, and since I was stuck paying for my sons stolen phone charges and phone plan, I decided to launch a family court hearing on child support payments which she was not paying since I had the boys from June 2012. (I have our other son living with me full time as well - who is 15 years old.) My ex-wife did not show up to that court appearance on April 5th 2013, but had her husband (cop) send a letter to the court, which had no relevance whatsoever, and nor was it a properly filed document, and nor were any defense or response documents filed as an answer to my documentation within the allotted 30 days.

The result was that I was awarded an uncontested hearing near the end of May/2013. Does this uncontested hearing mean that only I get to speak to the issues, or is my ex-wife allowed to rebut anything I say, despite no materials being filed with the court?

I am told that my ex-wife intends to challenge my custodial rights to the oldest child being billeted, and I am told that he is prepared to sign off/disown me as the custodial parent. At age 16/17 is he able to do this legally? And what can I do about getting him back under my care? Do I need a court order to do this as well, or is the onus on them/my son to get the court order to change custody, and can I defend the change of custody given his age - and if so up until what age - (18 is my guess)?

By the way, I believe my ex-wife's motivation for helping the boy out with legal matters and to move out of my home is driven by her wanting to reduce or eliminate her requirement to pay child support to me for him. She lives in Kingston Ontario, (6 hours away from the boys). What is ironic about this is that I went through aXXXXXbattle in this case to obtain full custody of my oldest son in question, which the boy also wanted. I obtained that full custody in April 2011, but was fighting this round since Sept 2007.

While fighting to get this kid back under my care prior to April 2011, the boy's mother had him locked up in a psychiatric ward for weeks at a time, while forcing him to ingest highly toxic and dangerous antipsychotic drugs that were not even approved for kids under 18 years old. She even put these drugs in his donut, when he refused to take them. She used these drug treatments, (along with several fabricated charges/arrests right in family court with the help of her cop husband) to actually prevent me from having access to my boys through the courts because I disapproved of such useless and unnecessary psychoactive drugs, even though she obtained a friendly doctor to prescribe them. She also did this to help her control the behaviours of my oldest son.

Common sense finally prevailed in the courts, but only after I expended north of $200,000 in legal bills. I now have full custody of both kids. We have been in court for 10 of the last 13 years since being separated in 1998, and divorced since 2002.

Lastly, it is important to note that my oldest son does not wish to live with his mother either, he just wants to live on his own with the support of a hockey team and their billet system, which is of little benefit to the boy in my opinion as far as helping him make something of his life beyond hockey.

Perhaps you misunderstood this one portion: If my ex-wife has been found to have influenced my oldest son to move out on his own as opposed to staying with me, is that the same thing as her influencing him to move in with her. To clarify, She is not trying to influence him to live with her but rather to live with the team's billet who pays for his room and board.

Either way she avoids paying support payments to me for my oldest son, because the boy will no longer be in my care, despite me being issued full custody by the courts. Is this correct?

The way I read your previous answer is that I would not be able to do anything about my son moving out from my care. The team is basically providing my son with room and board at a billets house. Are they allowed to outright offer this choice to my son, and without any repercussions to the team for doing so, beyond the wishes of the custodial parent, and without the consent of the custodial parent at the point in time of such offering, while the boy was still under my control and care.

After the boy leaves to live with a billet and doesn’t return, I believe this tantamount to abduction at such a young age, (15/16), where the team’s only interest in my son seems to only be hockey related. The terms of the release of my son to the team’s billet were to be that my son returned home with me after the season, and no room and board would be offered to the billet after the season was over, other than what I approved of. Based on this understanding and undertaking of the team, are you certain the team is allowed to do this and offer this choice to my son, given the situation I have described.

What happens to this poor kid once the team decides to trade him to a different team anywhere else in the province? What security does the kid have at that point? Can he re-enter the system under the parental or custodial control of a parent at that point in time, when the boy’s security given to him by the team has been withdrawn without a billet. What remedies are available to the boy or to the custodial parent in this situation? And what legal documentation would then be required to undo what has been done?

For my son to escape my parental/custodial control and support of him, are there any court papers or legal documentation he must complete to implement his ability to live on his own or with a billet, or is it just a matter of him living where he chooses to establish defacto self-care or ulterior chosen care?

To further clarify, this situation is one where my ex-wife is married to a cop, and the guy goes around flashing his badge and weight where ever he/she goes. In fact the boy was at my parents house one night and my ex-wife and her husband came and got him out of that house while everybody was sleeping late at night, and then the police came to inform my parents what had happened.

This occurred because of the cell phone and visa incident with my oldest son and because my ex-wife was trying to get my son put into a billets house - again taking actions beyond her rights as a non-custodial parent. Would you agree or disagree with this point? Prior to my son doing this, he threatened that if I took his phone from him for the 2 weeks (for disciplinary reasons), then he would be seeking a billet.

I am not one to want to threaten lawsuits unless I fully intend to engage and have a proper case. The problem with the sport of hockey is that if I do that I will have in effect black-balled my son from the game and from the league, as well as my second son in all likelihood, as they would deem me a half-baked father, who is dangerous to the league. I'm pretty sure that's how they view my ex-wife now, and so she tends to get heard.

My only other option is after the fact where these remedies are available based on the statute of limitations, which exists for 2 years after all the facts are known or ought to be known.

For greater clarity here? Has there not been a breach in verbal contract between the team and me as the custodial parent to stop paying for my son's room and board at the billet's house at the end of the hockey season, thereby giving me some rights to bring this to the attention of the team, and allow them to remedy the situation on their own - given the understanding in which I handed over my son to their care?

Ok I'm trying to get you to answer my underlying question here. Perhaps I am not being clear. Please answer the question precisely.

1) The way I read your previous answer is that I would not be able to do anything about my son moving out from my care. The team is basically providing my son with room and board at a billets house. Are they allowed to outright offer this choice to my son, beyond the wishes of the custodial parent, and without the consent of the custodial parent at the point in time of such offering, (i.e.) while the boy was still under my control and care and residence. Such offering can be either verbal or in writing by the team, with the conscenting parent.

2) Situation: After the boy leaves to live with a billet and doesn’t return, The terms of the release of my son to the team’s billet were to be that my son returned home with me after the season, and no room and board would be offered to the billet after the season was over, other than what I approved of. Based on this understanding and undertaking of the team, are you certain the team is allowed to do what they have done and offer this choice to my son, given the situation I have described. Is this not a breach of a verbal contract with me based on what I have described. A child under the age of 18 cannot enter into such arrangement with the team on his own without the consent of his custodial parent.

3) If the boy requires that custodial consent, how easy is it for him to change his custody to his mother for this purpose? What are the explicit requirements

Based on Question 3 above: If the mother sought custody for the mere purpose of entering into a contract with the hockey team to allow them to keep him under their billets care for a longer period than the hockey season, but then didn't actually take custody of him - meaning he didn't live with her for any period of time, due to the fact that he didn't want to, then how can I prevent this from happening. I mean the sham custody arrangement to circumvent my custody and enter into a longer term billet agreement with the team?

Would a judge not award custody based on the merits of the case as opposed to the mere wishes of the boy?

So to clarify, if the team told me that the players are released to their homes after the season, with the implicit understanding that they would not circumvent a parent's custodial relationship for the purposes of luring or keeping their son for a longer time period, then you are saying that I have very probable legal grounds to threaten a law suit, or at the very least bring this to their attention prior to uttering such a threat and simply showing them that they are in the wrong here?

please clarify this paragraph:

The grounds for threatening a lawsuit that you are the legal guardian as you are the custodial parent and that they are holding him against your instructions even though it's in accordance with his wishes.

There seems to have been a thought started but without an ending to it.

Let me take this one step further.

The team owners (2 of them) who are also the coach/president and general manager of the OHL team in Question, in addition to myself, and my son's family advisor/agent, discussed this whole situation at length and we were all in agreement that my son was to be sent home to his father, (me), in addition to telling the billets that they would no longer be paid. This meeting took place at 12pm on Monday, then at 2pm my son was brought in the room and directed to go back home and live with his father for the next 4 months, just as all the other kids on the team already have, and he was also told that the billets were no longer going to be paid for him to live there.

Then my ex-wife called the team to complain, (who technically should have no say in things at that point due to me still having seasonal custody of the kid when the hockey season ends). This complaint was launched after my oldest son complained to his mother. But it was his mother that also exercised bad judgement along with my son to go to Spain for 2 weeks without telling a sole about it, (especially any of the OHL Team coaches or managers), while using his mother to engineer his plan, and to now be failing math and other courses. This was one of the reasons why the team also thought it necessary that my son be under my guardianship for the remaining 4 months before the next season.

What happened at that point was a big mess and arguments. The team then recanted on what they had already agreed to in our meeting and to what was told to my son about him being sent home to live with his father and that the billet would no longer be paid. That was as solid of an agreement as you can have and witnessed and agreed by everybody present.

1) Based on this information, what are my options. Am I in the right, and do I have a proper case against this team for breach of a promise/verbal contract to me.

2) If the boy were to come back, could I ensure that I have the same agreement with the team next year that the boy’s billets are to be turned off, and the boy is to return home to me. The botXXXXX XXXXXne here is that without the team offering a place for my son to stay, then he would have no choice but to stay with me. I want to ensure that if my son is to return to me under the verbal agreement we had on Monday, then I want to ensure the same thing doesn’t happen again next year. What can I put in place to ensure this?

3) Further to this do I have a case against my ex-wife for meddling in my affairs as a custodial parent? Especially what she has been doing since Monday this week, (by calling and harassing the coaches and meddling in my affairs as the custodial parent), not to mention everything else since Christmas.