I'm Lucy, and I'd be happy to answer your questions today. I'm sorry that you're having this problem.
1. Choosing not to enforce one of the rules does not void all the rules. You could have an issue if you were selectively enforcing the rules based on who was violating them, but you have some discretion in how you choose to manage the community. You can still fine the homeowners who are breaking other rules.
2. You're allowed to levy reasonable fines for rule violations, up to $100. You're allowed to levy the fine every day until the member ends their violation, until they owe $1,000, as long as you first give them 14 days notice and an opportunity to request a hearing before a 3 person committee. Fl. Stat., Section 720.305. The committee must be comprised of "at least three members appointed by the board who are not officers, directors, or employees of the association, or the spouse, parent, child, brother, or sister of an officer, director, or employee". The same statute allows an HOA to suspend a member's right to use common areas and facilities based on the member's failure to follow the rules or if they are 90 days late in paying fines. However, you can't revoke their right to park or right to drive on roads that let them access their property or turn off utilities.
3. Unfortunately, no. An HOA is a non-profit organization and therefore must be represented by an attorney in court. However, if you have to sue the homeowners for payment of the fines, you're allowed to include a request that the home owner pay your attorney's fees. Fl. Stat., Section 720.305. And it's possible that if you send homeowners who are in violation a copy of the statute letting them know that you will go to court if necessary and ask the judge to pay your legal fees, they may be more willing to help you reach a resolution to save themselves some money. You CAN assess fines, send out letters, and hold the required hearings without hiring a lawyer.
In court, you're trying to prove that, more likely than not, the homeowner broke the rules. That means you'll need to introduce the rules themselves, along with any other associated documents, and pictures of the violation. Testimony of anyone who witnessed the violation could be helpful, but pictures or video are better.
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