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wallstreetesq., Attorney
Category: Business Law
Satisfied Customers: 17248
Experience:  10 years, Corp litigation, Of Counsel to several global and nationwide corporation
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My daughter has two children ages 16 and 14. Their parents

Customer Question

My daughter has two children ages 16 and 14. Their parents never married. Custody joint custody was awarded, but full residency was given to my daughter. The ex has every weekend except the 10th weekend. This plan worked for about a year or so. Now the kids are in high school, the families have moved 30 minutes apart, and the father does not exercise his visitation rights on a regular basis. In fact, he'll often go for months without making any contact with them. This past week, his daughter made a comment about being tired. His father said it was because she spends too much time with her friends. He and my daughter exchanged a few words, as my grand daughter is a straight A student, cheerleader, captain of her squad, etc., and is certainly not doing anything she shouldn't be doing. The long and short of it is, he's demanding visitation this weekend. It's homecoming. She's on the homecoming court. My grandson has a party. And dad says, "TOO BAD.." Do they have to go?
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Business Law
Expert:  wallstreetesq. replied 7 years ago.
the mother should send a certified letter to the father stating the children will not go due to the fact he has missed recent visits, and that the children had planned school events, you can also have the letter invite him to the event.

This letter will be helpful if the father goes to court for a violation of the visitation, she can state he was given notice and knew about it. The court will understand and the mother will be ok if they miss this one weekend. In the future, she can file a modification of visitation due to the childrens age and his not exercising his rights.
Customer: replied 7 years ago.
This man has a violent temper and I am certain this will not go over well ... But she will do as you suggested. Homecoming is tomorrow and my grand daughter is being knighted into the 'Royal Court' .. Is there anything else she should say or do to protect herself and kids? My guess is that he will not get the letter before storming into Santa Barbara. Then what??
Expert:  wallstreetesq. replied 7 years ago.
then leave a message, but have a copy of the letter so if he does anything you can show it to him and deny the visits.
Customer: replied 7 years ago.
And if he shows up at their school or home ... Then what ? Do they have to go? How do we protect these kids?
Expert:  wallstreetesq. replied 7 years ago.
without a court order first, he could compel them to give the children to him, however I would suggest filing an emergency order to modify the visitation order for that day if you think he will be that crazy.
Customer: replied 7 years ago.
and how does she do that? Does that require an attorney or what? She's not bothered with her attorney since they separated 5 years ago and the ex was court ordered to pay $115 a month child support for two children...!You see, he's also a liar, too!
Expert:  wallstreetesq. replied 7 years ago.
she needs to go directly to the family court and file a petition for an emergency modification of the custody order, the clerk in the court may file it for you.
Customer: replied 7 years ago.
what does she need to bring with her? How will she/HE know it's in effect?
Expert:  wallstreetesq. replied 7 years ago.
she should bring the previous court order and some evidence of the childrens activities
Customer: replied 7 years ago.
I noticed that you're a corp litigation you have family law experience? Are you sure we're doing the right thing? You have no idea how truly concerned I am about what is going to happen when he receives that letter...! He is a big, macho, man with a super ego. He likes the 'fear and intimidation' way to handle things. He can be loud, rude and vulgar, too...(huge mistake my daughter made years ago!).
Expert:  wallstreetesq. replied 7 years ago.
i have handled many family law cases for teachers and union members in NY, I am sure in what I am stating, the mother is the residential parent and has the ultimate authority,also the childrens opinions matter as they are not young, I would state as I did in the start she should state that the kids can't go this week and will make it up later.
Customer: replied 7 years ago.
OK, that's what she did. She said, in her letter, that both kids have school activities Friday and Saturday. She invited him to participate in the activities by going to the game on Friday and coming to her home on Saturday for photos, etc. She then suggested IF he were still interested, he could have them on Sunday and could return them to school on Monday morning per court order. SO... we'll see what happens. I will suggest she follows up by going to family court tho' just to make sure there's no problems. He has only seen them 4 times since May...the whole thing is just his way to get back at my daughter. Such a shame.

any last suggestions before signing off?
Expert:  wallstreetesq. replied 7 years ago.
if he harasses her or intimidates her have her get an order of protection
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Customer: replied 7 years ago.
OK, thank you for your help. It's sad, isn't it? You educate your children and give them the world and they pick guys like that....I just shake my head sometimes.
Expert:  wallstreetesq. replied 7 years ago.

go to the above link they have all the court info and forms for CA