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If you give up your ownership rights to the car, then you will no longer be responsible for the expenses associated with it, such as the taxes, insurance, etc. Unfortunately, the credit union does have the right to put requirements on gaining their consent to the reaffirmation agreement … e.g. that you pay other bills that may be discharged.
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No, you would not have to be on the title even if your ex keeps the car. You can simply relinquish your rights to the car and inform the DMV. Your ex would need a new title. You would not be responsible for any taxes. Since the car is already in default, I doubt the lender will work with your ex, thus it will likely be repo’ed.