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Answer 1

Answered in 45 minutes by:

9/13/2012

Autism Expert: Dr. Bonnie, Psychologist replied 9 years ago

Dr. Bonnie, Psychologist

Category: Autism

Satisfied Customers: 2,189

Experience: Experience in diagnosis and treatment of adults and children with ASD.

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Hello and thank you for consulting JA,

He is exhibiting many of the behaviors similar to an adult with Asperger Syndrome. Other things would include sensory sensitivity (trouble tolerating light, sound touch), disturbed by change and really depends upon routine, honest to a fault and a stickler for the rules and laws....just to name a few.

There are many books on relationships with an AS partner. I would recommend reading one because it can be very trying on the spouse (hence 3 marriages). The problem is that the person is very childlike and the spouse often feels like a parent. The other struggle for a woman is not getting needed affection.

Here is a list from Amazon:

http://www.amazon.com/s?ie=UTF8&field-keywords=asperger%20relationship&index=blended&link_code=qs&sourceid=Mozilla-search&tag=mozilla-20

Hope this helps shed the light.....

Answer 2

Autism Expert: Dr. Bonnie, Psychologist replied 9 years ago

This is a quote that I think will help you regarding whether or not people with AS feel emotion.

When it boils down to it, I believe the root of this assumption goes back to the difficulties that many with Asperger's have with communication. As Canadian writer A.J. Mahari, wrote in "Difficulty Expressing Emotions Doesn't Mean We Don't Feel:"

"There is often quite a stark difference in the styles used to express and communicate emotions between those with AS and neurotypicals (NT's) which is not cause to assume that aspies don't feel empathy, sadness, compassion, happy for others and so forth. Speaking for myself, from my own experience, I often feel way too much though this is usually not very evident a lot of the time. Granted also that a lot of the way too much that I do feel is usually kept as being a part of my own world inner-experience and is not often shared with others. I do need to be asked often. I rarely just seek to share outwardly. People that get to know me come to understand this is not something that need be taken personally and that all they have to do is ask and I will answer.

This was copied from this website: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/aspergers-diary/200809/asperger-emotions-and-adult-relationships

Answer 3

Autism Expert: Dr. Bonnie, Psychologist replied 9 years ago

See....you are experiencing the distress in the relationship that is common in AS relationships. Truth is you cannot know his true deeper feelings and whether he is "fighting" them. You can only know what he tells you. You clearly are enjoying each others company.....if you second guess his feelings you will make yourself miserable and that will affect your enjoyment. In this relationship, you need to "be in the moment" and don't think about the future....just be companions. If you can't do this, you will be hurt because of having expecations that he may never be able to fill.

I highly recommend reading one of the books to bring some peace to you.

I do hope you can shed some light on something that has got…

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