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Patrick H.
Patrick H., Lawyer
Category: Australia Law
Satisfied Customers: 5421
Experience:  Dip Law LPAB - Sydney based lawyer
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I took out a huge bank loan trip my ex & I went on in April

Customer Question

I took out a huge bank loan for a trip my ex & I went on in April this yr. I specifically made it clear to him I'll take the loan only if he helped me pay it back, as I can't on my own. He agreed. After we came back, I asked for some money for the loan & he told me 'I feel I don't owe you anything' then gave me a lecture about how verbal agreements don't mean anything in AUS. I left him cause of domestic violence. He has kept a lot of property that I have paid for but won't give me the money for it. He owes me at least $10K for the loan, property, his cat's vet bills. He obtain all that property by deception using my wage & now he won't give me a cent. And to top it off, I find out he was cheating on me. And we had bought wedding rings. Such deception. I just want my money back. Can any1 help? I've been to a solicitor & spoke to legal aid but no one can help me. I saw 2 family lawyers & I can't even get an IVO on him. Where's my justice?
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Australia Law
Expert:  Patrick H. replied 1 year ago.

Hello and thank you for your inquiry,

In order to try to assist you I will need some further information:

Were you living together, and if so for how long?

What did the family lawyers say to you about your case?


Customer: replied 1 year ago.
We lived apart as of 2006. I moved into his rental property April 2014. We then moved to another rental property in July 2015. I left that property August 27th 2015 cause of DV. During that time apart I was giving him money to help him with bills. Stupid when I look back. He's reckless with money. We had a joint account for the trip which he accessed only. I lost my access details so I never could check it. I find out that he was abusing the money in the joint account, using it to pay his bills where he was meant to be budgeting for bills from his pay like I was. He told me he bought a camera for the trip from his money, but later I got statements of the joint account to find out he lied. He used our money to buy it, so that's half mine. I paid for a lot of stuff still in possession. I asked for the money politely since he's kept everything. He's ignored every msg I've sent him. Every professional I've spoken to won't help me. There has to be someone out there that can help me. He knew what he was doing. His ass was on that plane so he has to pay for that trip too. He left me with a $30K bank debt. That's not fair!
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
He told me if I needed money, to sell my wedding rings. How dare he tell me to sell my property, he's should be giving me the money. He's been getting money off his dad. His dad got some inheritance & gave the gf $15K to fix her roof. My ex said his dad gave him $5K. I find that hard to believe as he is his son. If he gave the gf $15K, he would have given him more than $5K. That's when I asked him about helping me pay off the loan & he cracked it at me, telling me that as soon as his dad gives him money that I want it all. I told him, 'I don't want it all, I just want what you owe me'. I've been shafted here by a greedy SOB! Plus all the abuse I put up with. Someone has to help me. I became suicidal from all the stress & abuse & depression at his hand that ppl from work had to intervene to help me. Now I'm up shit creek cause of him. I live pay by pay as a result. I can't afford to save. I'll be paying the loan off for a long time. I'll never be able to save to travel or buy a house. And here he is with all my property & used my money to get ahead & go overseas, which was his idea. I never wanted to go to HK & Shanghai! He did! He whinged about it for years. Left me to pay for it all. He made me get the loan in my name. He knew what he was doing! I was with him for 9 yrs-I trusted him. I never thought he would go back on his word. We were going to get married for heavens sake. Then he did this to me. He knows he owes me the money, he just doesn't wana pay cause he's greedy
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
He spoke a lot about when his dad dies, he'll get $100K from the house his dad owns. He knows what's in his dads will as he has a copy. I never saw it. Who talk like that???? He lived on his own for 6-7 yrs && never saved. As soon as I moved in...BAM! I want this & I want that! He used me financially to get all these things & then told me to 'leave if I wasn't happy'. Such abuse! He knew!!!! Such deception!
Expert:  Patrick H. replied 1 year ago.

Hello again,

Although you haven't indicated what the family lawyers have said about your case, and why they say they can't help you, from your description, it appears there are a number of legal and practical issues you are facing which may make your case not worthwhile pursusing:

1. it appears your Ex has only modest assets to claim against, so even if you successfully sue him, he may not have the money to pay you;

2. If the total amount in issue is just the 30K debt and particularly if only some of it can actually be proven to be his improper use of the funds, then it may not be worth pursuing if the legal and evidentiary issues are going to be very expensive to properly investigate and present to the court.

3. Despite the age of your relationship, it appears your matter is not governed by the Family Law Act, which only applies to married couples, or those in de facto relationships for 2 years (or where there is a child of the relationship). This means, the law which relates to your situation is somewhat more complicated and may prove expensive to litigate (perhaps many tens of thousands of dollars).

If you wish to proceed you will have to continue hunting to find a lawyer willing to act on your case as a claim of this is not something that should be attempted without proper legal representation. I suggest you check with your state's law society as they can refer you to a suitable lawyer in your area.

I appreciate this is not the answer you were likely hoping for, but it does reflect the reality of your situation and I trust my answer at least assists your understanding as to the obstacles you face.


Customer: replied 1 year ago.
The family lawyers said the same thing. They don't deal with property issues & that I'd have problems proving the second part of an IVO to a judge. So I can't get the IVO. Is there any way to get my money for the loan & property I've paid for?
Expert:  Patrick H. replied 1 year ago.

You would have to take your ex to court and satisfy the court that either there was an agreement that he would pay you back, or that he used your funds without your permission.

If you have correspondence to that effect or if the circumstances themselves make a compelling case then you may succeed, but if you have no written documents you may find it difficult to convince a court you are entitled to recover money that otherwise it appears you effectively gave him.

Again, even if you succeed, if he doesn't have the money to repay you, then you have to realise you cannot recover money from him that he doesn't have.

I appreciate this is not the answer you were hoping for, but it is the reality as it appears to apply to your case.

Please rate my answer.


Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Used my what sorry? You didn't finish the sentence. How can I prove a verbal agreement in court? He knows we had one. He gave me a lecture about verbal agreements & how they don't mean anything in AUS. I've got proof I've paid for items in his possession. Do I need to go to court for that?
Expert:  Patrick H. replied 1 year ago.

I was saying that you may succeed if you can prove he used your funds without your permission.

To prove a verbal agreement is difficult. Essentially you give evidence yourself as to what you say the agreement was and try to idenfiy other evidence that supports your version. For example, if you had a verbal agreement that you would each contribute equally to the joint account, if you can show that for the first few weeks that he did in fact contribute to the account equally, then that might tend to support an argument that you actually had an agreement. Alternately, if there are any emails or texts which refer to an agreement, that may also be evidence that the agreement actually existed, even though the terms of any such agreement may remain vague and for the ultimate determination of the court.

I trust the above assists.

Please rate my answer.


Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I can't afford a lawyer to go to court. Is VCAT worth pursuing?
Expert:  Patrick H. replied 1 year ago.

Unfortunately, VCAT does not hear cases of this sort which must be brought before a court.

Please rate my answer.