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chelbel00, Master's Degree
Category: Writing Homework
Satisfied Customers: 307
Experience:  Extensive writing experience including IB, AP, baccalaureate, and graduate work
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Im trying to determine the use of either who or whom in two

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I'm trying to determine the use of either who or whom in two cases. Whom seems odd in the one case, but I believe it should be whom in both cases, because Whom is the object and not the subject. Whom is normally used if it is the object of the sentence. In both cases I believe WE to be the subject.

Here are the sentences:

I have come to understand bad times in our life have a very profound effect on us and shape whom we become. It is what we experience in life that makes us whom we are.

chelbel00 : Hi, my name is XXXXX XXXXX I'd be happy to help you with this question!
chelbel00 : The big problem here is that in the English language, whom is becoming less common and has started sounding strange to us--even when I know the techical rules, I don't always choose the "right" one when it sounds too strange, even when writing a paper for school. So the correct choice here if this isn't for a grammar class might actually be "who" even though "whom" is correct.
chelbel00 : As far as why that is the correct choice, it's because you need indirect pronouns in these clauses. For example in the first sentence you would always say "and shapes him" rather than "and shapes he." The same is true in the second, although it's a bit tougher to make a good example sentence there. Maybe something like "we are him" but like I said, no easy substitute structure there.
chelbel00 : Again, though, there js a difference between what is colloquially correct and what is techically correct, so if this is only going into a paper, I would personally go with "who"
chelbel00 : Does that answer your question?
Customer: Ty for a great answer, we will go with who
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