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We have 400 people invited to our wedding (260 invitations

 
Timea Varga-Kovacs's Avatar
  • Answered by:Timea Varga-Kovacs
  • Wedding Planner
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Customer Question

We have 400 people invited to our wedding (260 invitations going out). The church, however, only fits 220 people. My fiances family and friends are from the area where we are getting married, so we expect a good showing on her side. My family and friends (about 200) are from over 100 miles away, so I don't expect a lot of them to show up. Also, the ceremony is at 4:30 on a friday afternoon. I don't think we will get 200 that show up at the ceremony, but my fiance and mother are freaking out because the church only fits 200. We haven't sent out our invitations yet, but they are talking about cutting the list and only inviting people to the reception. I told them if they did that we might not even fill the church because some of the people that can come to the ceremony won't show up because they aren't invited. Are they freaking out about nothing? I want my fiance to wait for the RSVPs to come back and deal with it then, kind of gamble that not a lot of people will be able show up at the ceremony. What do you think? Should we cut the list, and how many should we cut?

Submitted: 386 days and 3 hours ago.
Category: Wedding
Value: $45
Status: CLOSED
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Expert:  Timea Varga-Kovacs replied 386 days and 3 hours ago.

Hi,

I also think not all of the guests will show up at the church, and if you have sent out the invitations, I can't imagine, how to cut the list. Do they want to send another "not invited" card? I also think, You should wait for the RSVPs, since at such a large number of invited guests, at least the 20% of the guests don't show up at the ceremony NOR the reception. In addition, in the worst case, if really 360-400 ppl will show up at the church, the best man can solve the problem by asking the closest friends to let the family and relatives sit down and they can stand or wait outside of the church. I think, at this stage You really should do nothing, just wait. This is best. And the problem will resolves itself or You can solve it on the wedding day.

Another option is to ask some friends - personally or over the phone (if You are in regular contact - I assume You are) to come only later.

Customer replied 386 days and 2 hours ago.

We haven't sent the invitations yet. My fiance and I are trying to decide if we should cut the invite list down before we send them out. So, with that being said, should we work on cutting our list? The only thing is that most of my friends and family would be from out of town so we have to invite them to the ceremony. But if I don't have a good showing on my side, the church will be half full when there are people that would have come from my fiance's side because they are in town...does that make sense?

If we do cut the list, how much should we cut? If the church fits 230, what's the MAX number of people we should invite to the ceremony?

Thanks,
Chris

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Expert:  Timea Varga-Kovacs replied 386 days and 2 hours ago.

Hi,

yes sorry I made a mistake, when reading Your text and I thought You have sent out the invitations...

What do You think about the following:
- send 100-100 pcs of invitations for the family and relatives for both sides (who You assume to be present in the church) and send only save the date cards for the friends and colleagues, etc. at the moment. You can ask a quick RSVP from the "first 200 person" and then You can decide to send out more invitation for both the ceremony and the reception or only to the reception.
- in this way there is a chance to "hold the balance" of the two sides, since I also think, it would be better, if a number of guests of Your side also would be present (at least the family and relatives). But they think they will not come, the friends in town can participate.

Customer replied 386 days and 2 hours ago.

Well, that would be possible if our wedding was a year a way...however, our wedding is June 1st. I will discuss that with my fiance though...

I really don't think this is possible because of the limited time. Also, what happens when we get 100 RSVP's to the ceremony... Do we send out another round of invitations of 100?...200?
Thanks,
Chris

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Expert:  Timea Varga-Kovacs replied 386 days and 2 hours ago.

Oh, I see, I didn't know it is in June. But, let's talk about this with Your fiance. If the first 200 ppl send back the RSVPs quickly, it could work... And then You can send out the "missing" number of invitations or a bit more.

Customer replied 386 days and 1 hours ago.

Do you really think that is the best thing to do with the amount of time that we have? How long should we wait for people before we send out the second round of invitations? What if we don't hear back from people within that time?

Accepted Answer

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Expert:  Timea Varga-Kovacs replied 386 days and 1 hours ago.

You have 400 ppl to be invited and a church with capacity for 200. At this stage, when the church is fixed, I don't see any other solutions only the ones I stated. Or, if it is an option, You can change the church, however I assume, You don't want it. So, if You don't want to deal with the save the date cards and invitations, then send out all invitations now and follow the advice stated in my first post.

Expert TypeWedding Planner
Category: Wedding
Pos. Feedback: 97.2 %
Accepts: 83
Answered: 3/20/2012

Experience: I'm a wedding planner since 2007 and I happily answer to Your questions.

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Expert:  Timea Varga-Kovacs replied 386 days and 1 hours ago.

Thank You very much! I hope it will resolved somehow! Wish You the best.

 
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