I have a nephew who eloped on August 19, 2011 and did not tell anyone except his grandparents until November 2011. Now I have been asked to host a shower/luncheon in March 2012. As far as I know they are not planning on "renewing the vows" in August 2012. I had suggested a reception, but the groom is in the military and they don't know when he will be able to leave. What is the best protocal in this situation? Do we call the event a "Luncheon" or "Shower"? What is the protocal on gifts? The couple was only 18 when they eloped, so there are some hard feelings within the family. Any suggestions?
Dear JA Customer,this is a hard question (I know You know it, of course). You write "As far as I know they are NOT planning on "renewing the vows" in August 2012". How do You mean it? Are they married yet? If not, when do they want to marry? In March? Or in August?Timeawedding planner
I agree ... this is a hard question! Yes, they are married. They went to the courthouse on August 19, 2011 and exchanged vows. They originally were going to have a wedding in October 2011, but decided to elope instead because there was such a controversy on both sides of the family due to their age (18) and the reason they wanted to get married so soon (before my nephew went into basic training). Now I have been asked to host a "Bride Luncheon" with the main purpose of hoping to receive gifts. Is that appropriate? I keep asking if they are planning on "Renewing their Vows" in August of 2012, but am told probably not. I also suggested a "Marriage Celebration" reception, but am told that my nephew (the new husband) may not be able to attend because he is in the military.
I see, thank You for clarification. I'm not sure, if a shower would be appropriate or welcomed by the family and other guests, especially, if no renewal of vows or symbolic wedding ceremony will be held. Shower used to be 8 weeks before the wedding. So, You cannot held a shower, because no "wedding" will happen (again). You can hold a luncheon (I think this is the only way You can call it anyway), however, if it is a luncheon, the guests perhaps will not think of bringing gifts... So, if their intent is to get gifts, they should consider having at least a symbolic ceremony or renewal. I see, the groom (husband) situation and availability is difficult, but if it is so, they should consider to have the celebration later, when he can come home for sure. However, symbolic wedding ceremonies needn't a long time to prepare, so another option is to plan a symbolic ceremony in March...
What is the proper wording on an invitation for an after-marriage ceremony?
E.g. You can invite the guests to a luncheon to celebrate the newly wed couple entered into marriage (earlier) (or You can indicate the date 19 August 2011, however I think, it is more diplomatic to not indicate it). For the guests not knowing the circumstances, You can say a quick wedding was needed bc of the training of the groom (and it is true actually).
I'm a wedding planner since 2007 and I happily answer to Your questions.
Thank You very much!!! I honestly hope, You will have a great time and family will forget the "difficult" beginning of this marriage.