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What model and engine do you have? What year?
Do the lights on the other doors light up? it could be a coincidence, that is just the illumination circuit. Does the tach move when cranking or starting?
Have you checked the timing belt? I assume you have no spark when tested?
That sounds like it is too rich- which could be a failing coolant temp sensor, or a bad Mass Air Flow sensor. Try unplugging one or the other, the ECM will revert to an internal map to try to run without sensor inputs.
I would try to roll it to level ground, or put some more known good gas in it.
are the windows not working?
The door locks, windows, etc are controlled by the comfort module. The cluster contains the immobilizer, which will allow the car to start but then die again if it is malfunctioning. Usually you will get an immobilizer light though. The comfort module also controls the lighting of the switches on the passenger door and rear doors (driver door is driven directly from the light switch)
I wouldn't completely rule out the module, but the only way to be sure of any of this is to be able to scan the car with a scan tool or with VAG-COM software emulator, to see if you can communicate to the modules and see if there are faults.
absolutely, VAG-COM will scan all VW/Audi cars
The comfort module should not have an effect on the cluster- the comfort module can cut off the ignition (will not crank at all) while the cluster has the immobilizer (will allow it to start, then die)
Ross-Tech VAG-COM is the best system to get-expensive, but covers everything, they have a support group on VWVORTEX that Uwe Ross himself responds to. And they can allow you to program in things that sometimes the dealer will not be able to do due to safety or regulations