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Absolutely not normal! Have they checked the transmission fluid level, or dropped the tranny pan to inspect for any debris indicating a breakdown of one of the clutch packs? Any faults stored in the transmission control module (if it is purely mechanical there may not be)
I'm glad you have a choice of dealerships! If you don't get satisfaction from one, you can always contact VWOA and they can send out a regional rep. You can always ask the service manager to go for a drive with you and demonstrate this, and then ask him to take a vehicle from his lot and see if it does the same thing.
Yes, best when changing fluid if you drop the pan to inspect for any metal or particles.