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Check fuse 14 in the fuse box on the end of the dash- small 10a red fuse. This is for the comfort module, which is what controls the windows.
When you turn the key on you get NOTHING on the dash cluster? No warning lights come up, oil and battery light, Check Engine light should come on and do a self-check at this time.
If not, then you need to check power supply to the ECM under the cowl area (remove the wiper blades and the black plastic cowl cover) Power wires are the large red wires, and you should have good ground at the large brown wires. Check with an ohm meter on the ground wires, and for battery voltage at the power wires.
It sounds like you may have multiple issues going on here. How long has it been since the car last ran?
Have you checked the fuses on top of the battery? And check the wiring there for any sign of heating (melted or swollen insulation) or corrosion. Sometimes this can cause a battery draw.
If you turn on the ignition, hit the wipers, then turn off the key when they are at the top, that makes it easiest- but you can do it in the rest position as well. Close the hood, flip the wiper arm up as if you are going to change the blade. Wiggle it back and forth, and it will come loose. After you take them off, if you pivoted the motor ip, make sure you run the wipers back to the down position before you put the arms back on.
I thought you had a Jetta, just rechecked and saw that it is a New Beetle. You need to go inside, remove the upper dash covers. The center piece is slightly higher than the rest, it slides toward the window to remove, then there are some T20 Torx screws under there, once those are out you can lift either side of the dash covers, they are snapped down into place with clips.
Sure, no hurry. I just keep the site active while I am working and check in regularly.
Here is a link that shows a picture of what you are looking at