Hi there and welcome to Just Answer. I'm sorry to hear about your camera. I will try and give you an accurate and precise answer.
Are you referring to the focus point spot in the viewfinder? Spot metering is something different. The focus point is where the camera is going to focus. The D90 has 11 or 12 points I believe.
To move the spot around, press the shutter button half way and then use the circular multi selector dial (on your thumb) to move the focus point.
Is that what you are trying to do?
I'll be here if you need more help.
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Ahh, press the AF button on the top and select AF-S in the top LCD.
Then it should work.
Do you have the focus lock lever on the back pointing to the dot and not the 'L'?
Are you in P,A,S, or M mode (not auto)?
Are you in "Single Point AF"
You should be able to move the "focus box" around via the multi selector.
Let me know.
Happy shooting. The D90 is a great camera.