Hi, I am vetmom and I am so sorry to hear of your difficult decision with "Simby".
It is never easy no matter how old a pet is or what their condition is to make the decision.
Having euthanized my own pets, guilt is always an issue even for veterinarians that should be able to put that aside.
Your "Simby" sounds like he had a impossible condition to control. Seizures such as you are describing are a nightmare to all including the dog.
In any situation, guilt is counter-productive and often makes us ill and that is not good.
When a person takes on a pet, we are responsible for all that happens to them, from what to feed and when to make the decision that they are suffering. Do not begrudge yourself for your decision. From your history, he likely suffered some sort of birth brain trauma that would not resolve even with all the anti-seizure medications in the world.
I have seen this happen before and it is so frustrating for all. My husband, also a veterinarian, has a philosophy that a pet should be a joy and from your history, it is apparent to me that you tried all you could and that the seizures were gradually taking him down.
What you did was to make a decision that "mother nature" would have eventually made in a longer more painful time period. You must realize that you kept him from suffering from the seizures and the stress he was enduring.
You were rational and kind.
There is supposed to be lesson to learn from all of our pain and although it may not be apparent to you now I trust it will be in the future.
We are only humans and can only do the best we can in our decision making and I believe that is what you did.
I can't tell you how much I appreciate your words. They obviously won't diminish the feelings of loss, but will I hope help witht he guilt over time.
You are welcome. They say "time heals all" but sometimes it takes a long while. Perhaps you channel your grief into helping some animals that could use some love and affection. Many adoption centers need volunteers to help walk and train the dogs they have rescued from shelters.
Dogs that never had the love and chances "Simby" did.
There is also a need for foster homes.