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We put the house on the market. Some one made an offer and we all accepted it including mother in law. We then pursued trying to buy mother in law a house and ourselves. We looked at many, many houses that in my opinion would have been suitable but she always found excuses. A few weeks ago we found the perfect house, one even she could not refuse. At first she accepted but then again the next day she started complaining it wasn't big enough. This house was £100,000 more than we orginally wanted to pay, it was really pushing our budget to the max but it would have been worth it if only to settle this thing once and for all. Some fights started again and we all including brother in law who was going to help her buy the house felt totally abused and unappreciated. It became clear to us that the abuse would continue if we bought the house for her. She started refusing to buy a house with Son and likewise her son now realises its a bad idea to buy a house for her.
We asked her if she would move out and rent. We would help with the rent. She said she was ready to move out and rent but then threatened to rent a one bedroom. She is gaurdian of a 13 year child and we are concerned about the living condition of that child if it was a one bedroom. A child should not have to stay in the same room as parent indefinetly. We have always offered support to help cover the child. We offered to help pay so she could afford a 2 bedroom so the child could have her own room. She urgued with us but in the end her urguments made no sense and she realised it. She then resorted to saying she was ill, and could not move out until she was better. She uses excuses like ill all the time and also uses the child she is guardian for to mentally manipulate us all the time so this was just one more out of many that made us realise she was never planning on leaving the house.
Note, we do still care for the mother and especially the child. We simply cannot take the abuse no more and the lack of concern for how her actions will ruin ours. So we are always interrested in resolving things in a way that is best for everyone. But commiting ourselves to a lifetime of abuse is just not something I think we should accept. Thus, in the interrest of still trying to help her, we have offered to allow her to stay and rent the house out so that me and my wife can at least move out and live somewhere else. But this has so much risk to me and my wife. Not sure what else to do though.
We had an accepted offer for £457,000 and we owe £317,000. The offer is under threat now though because of all this mess.
Yes we are happy to give her 25% of the equity. We are also happy to contribute about £400 a month towards rent. Her Son was also willing to help her get a mortgage to buy another house as she is of an age where the banks will not give a mortgage. A 2 bedroom house in the area goes for about £270,000. The last house that she rejected was selling for £350,000 which was a spacious 3 bedroom with a conservatory and guarage and she complained this still wasn't even big enough. That led to a fight and now Son is not willing to buy her a house. There is a small chance we can resolve the fight and try buy her a house again but only if absolutely necesary. She also complains that she does not want to live in a house her Son owns. That means the only option is for her to rent. If she rents then her son, my wife and me are willing to help cover the costs of living for the 13 year old child. We have said we would pay about £400 towards the rent and we already all pay for her private schooling which costs me and my wife about £700 a month and her sun and his wife another £700 a month. She no longer pays towards the childs schooling.
Note, to rent a nice 2 bedroom will cost around £1200 a month.
No she did not own a property prior. The child is my wifes sisters child. My wifes sister is mentally ill and had drug addiction problems which resulted in my mother in law having to go to court and become the legal guardian. At the time when she became legal guardian my wife, her sister and her brother all decided to pull together and help out at the time. They all bought a house together thinking that was the best thing at the time. The child is older now and requires much less physical support. My wifes sister who also used to help had similar issues with my mother in law and completely stopped supporting them. She simply stopped paying for the mortgage and paying anything towards the child. I started dating my wife around that time and so I decided I would take over the sisters share of the mortgage rather than everyone get black listed because she wouldn't contribute anymore. We all disagreed with the sisters approach and so we fell out with her a bit as well. I can't entirely blame the sister for her actions as I have seen first hand how my mother in law uses the child to manipulate us all, thats why the sister wanted to completely wash her hands from it and not allow my mother in law to have any hooks to make her do stuff. As said, this is not how we want to deal with the matter. We do want to help the child out as she is family and we love her. We do also love and care for my mother in law but we simply cannot take this fighting anymore.
I'd like to know about that option but we may not end up taking it. We want to know as many options as possible to find the best solution for everyone. Forcing it is an option but only if she doesn't accept every other option that is better for her.
No, that was a very bad idea as how and when will my wife and I ever be able to get another mortgage again for ourselves. We will never be able to buy that way. We also been looking into renting but then if our bank finds out that we are not living in the house anymore and renting it out without converting to a buy to let could get us into a lot of trouble.
So now after spending the weekend discussing this with my wifes brother they have decided they will buy our house but we need to make sure the mother in law moves out. We have lost the sale to the other buyers which complicates matters now and because of the difficulty in getting the mother to leave we think its to difficult to put the house back on the market but easier if the brother buys it.
We now want to know what is the legal process if she does not vacate the property before they move in. We are going to ask her to move out by no later than the end of October, we will cover the childs share of the rent for a 2 bedroom and we will give her £35,000 to buy out her share of the property immediately before the sale completes to the broether so she can be happy to vacate as soon as possible. £35,000 should be fair as this is exactly what she would have rceieved had we sold the house to the other buyers.
The declaration didn't mention anything on notice. All that was specified was that she would get 25% of the equity.
Yes I have a copy. There is no mention of right to live there.
Is an email enough to send her or is some kind of official eviction notice required to be given to her?
Something else I need to mention after thinking more about your questions. You asked me once if she owned a property before this one. I said no but actually there is more to this story. I appologise as there is so much to the history of this story that I cannot go into all of it.
The more detailed story is that originally my wife, her brother her sister and my mother in law orginally bought this house together as a 4 way mortgage. After the mother fell out with the sister and I came along we decided that I would buy out the sisters share which was one quarter. At the time banks were making it dificult for us to process a 4 way mortgage. So in an attempt to simplify things we put the mortage into my wifes and I name. Thats why we ended up drawing up a trust agreement so she would still get a quarter of the equity.
So one could say she did own a property before, this one! Does that change matters?
Last July (2012)
Thanks for all your help. much appreciated. I just want to clarify your response.
Are you saying that we could still try going through the process where if need be we end up serving her in writing that we request her to vacate the property by a certain date (2 months notice) and that she will no longer have access to the property after that date. Then if she does not vacate by that date we change the locks. After changing the locks if she wishes to re-enter the house she will have to take us to court where a judge will then decide if the property should be sold?
Our next plan of action is the following, does it sound ok:
* We have sent her an email now explaining that renting the house while Nmy wife and I no longer live there and do not intend telling the bank is illegal and has to much risk and not an option anymore. We have also asked her if she would please move out again and rent by no later than the end of October.
* If she comes back and agrees thats great but we will monitor that she finds a place soon. If she disagrees and refuses to leave then we intend to formally give her an eviction notice.
* If she does not vacate by end of October my wife and I will rent out a place but will then seek to take legal action to remove her. My wife and I cannot aford to be living there around that period as my wife is pregnant and due to have a home birth in November so its very important to be in an environment that does not make her clam up and not be able to give birth succcessfully and require the need to go to hospital for a c-section.
Its also imprtant to know if its possible that a court could force us that we could not sell. if 3 out the 4 people agree it should be sold and the mortgage is on me and my wifes name, how can a court rule against us? Would a court really rule that we should subject our lives to eternal hell with no options out considering we are offering her a lump some of money and further financial support after? There must be a full proof legal process that can be followed here that will result in allowing us to move out. If the court rules against us then I fear that that we may be forced to move out and simply allow our mortgage to default and leave the problem to the banks. Sure this will ruin our credit rating but trust me when I say the hell of living with bad credit is better than the hell we are living in now.
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