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Ask Michael Holly Your Own Question
Michael Holly
Michael Holly, Solicitor
Category: UK Law
Satisfied Customers: 6544
Experience:  I have 20 years of experience as a solicitor in litigation and other areas
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I don't know if you are the correct person to ask i hope you

Customer Question

Hi,
I don't know if you are the correct person to ask i hope you are. It is very complicated so it will be hard for me to put it down into words but i will do my best and i hope you can help me.I work for a company called the national autistic society (2 years) and i have aspergers. I work with 3 other people, all women, 2 of which have aspergers ( i can tell they do have it) just i am not allowed to know they do which suggest some policy right?. We have human resource at the national autistic society but i don't really understand how it works, this is my first proper job. Basically my boss fancies me ( i am not allowed to know but she does) and HR know because one of previous people i worked with quit her job and must of told HR but i am not allowed to know why she quit her job which suggest its about me.My boss who fancies me got married but by the looks of it i wasn't allowed to go? can HR do this sort of thing and why do they do it?. It looks like i am not allowed to go to any events outside of work which my boss attends, and i am not allowed to know i can't go so they have to lie about it.I then asked if in a one to one meeting if she did fancy me she said no (she has to say that) ever since then she can't approach me at my desk, can't ask me anything personal its like she has to stay away from me. Anyway they know i know she fancies me but I'm not supposed to and i threaten to quit my job because i don't like the fact of being lied to and i don't get to go.Everyone in the office is trying to cover up everything she has done to show she fancies me, i don't know how HR works but i suppose when you quit your job they will want to know why? and of course HR know my boss fancies me because my colleague told them and my boss admitted to it. So they are basically bullying and targeting me in the office worrying i am going to quit my job trying to cover up everything she had done, so i get the feeling the consequences of me quitting my job are really high? but i do not know what? it must be to do with money right?.
Submitted: 4 months ago.
Category: UK Law
Expert:  Michael Holly replied 4 months ago.

With all due respect you are making an awful lot of assumptions. The previous employee may well have quit for their own reasons, you may not be invited to social events with this lady simply because she does not know you outside of work.

I doubt HR are involved liking someone at work is common and not a problem unless it affects either parties work. In any event I do not see why you feel you must leave simply because someone may be attracted to you.

If you do feel you must leave you simply need to give the notice required in your contract.

I hope this helps, please think carefully about what you do, jobs are not easy to come by and this does not seems a good reason to forego one to me.

Best wishes

Michael

Customer: replied 4 months ago.
As i said its too complicated to put down into words. If i tried to put it down into words i could be here all day. I know HR are in involved they have to be, why do you think everyone in the office is covering up everything she has done to show she likes me?. I said i was going to quit my job because one day my boss had a hospital appointment she was pregnant and my colleague went with her but I'm not allowed to know she went with her so she has to email to say she is ill. I was left in the office basically nearly all day with nothing to do, not a very nice way to treat someone, they have to lie I'm not allowed to know she went with her i thought they weren't allowed to do it but they are because they did it again.
Expert:  Michael Holly replied 4 months ago.

What has she done to show she likes you and how is it being covered up?

Why do you feel you should have gone to hospital with your boss, have you done this sort of thing before with her?

Michael

Customer: replied 4 months ago.
She isn't allowed to tell me she has aspergers but she always hints thats she does why? because she wants me to know but she can't tell me. Thats suggest some sort of policy right?. Loads of things, giggling,crossing and uncrossing her legs, smiling. I always had a feeling she liked me at my interview, just the way she was looking at me. For example ever since i asked her if she likes me its like she has to stay away from me now but why? is it because HR know that she likes me i don't get it. Its like she can't approach me at my desk anymore unless she has work in her hand so she would start humming for me to go over and see her i know what she was doing. its like i am not allowed to know about any personal events that my boss attend with colleagues because i am not allowed to go, she got married but i wasn't invited why? because i am not allowed to go.My colleague left early that day i said oh you got dentist? she said yes but she was lying she was going to her wedding. She was smirking at me when she left trying to let me know, why lie about something you can't cover up? if you get married your names going to change so why lie? because they have to.Because i said i was going to quit my job they are covering up so to cover up her humming, everyone in the office has a fake cough, EVERYBODY for 4 months now everyday. My 3 work colleague tap there feet, whistle, rub your hands together make as many noises as possible and they do that everyday. If you do that everyday it suggest you are doing it for a reason. They only started doing that in April.I told my boss (covering my actual boss on maternity leave) to stop whistling and he went bright red and didn't say anything sign of guilt right?. He caries on doing though why? because he has too he has been told too. So to cover that up he put a sticky label on his monitor and put stop whistling! to make as if he just forgets too stop doing it. If somebody on the spectrum tells someone to stop whistling in the national autistic society i am pretty sure they should stop, my punishment for telling him to stop whistling was to get my other 2 colleagues to not ask me anything personal, and also make me feel isolated like I'm not part of it. They only time they ask me anything personal now is when i go on annual leave why? afraid i am going to quit my job.HR know she fancies me but i am not supposed to know that she does. I get the feeling when you quit your job HR will want to know why? if i told them because my boss fancy me and i don't like the fact that i don't get to go to stuff they will ask me how i know she does?. But of course HR know she does so thats why everyone in the office is covering up what my boss has done.i am sorry this is so confusing i did tell you that it is hard to write down and put into words. You probably think I'm a bit nutty but i am generally telling you the truth. I have no intention of quitting my job, it was just a heat of the moment thing i said because i was upset. There is obviously a huge consequence if i quit my job and tell HR, i think its to do with money. Its so so hard to explain because so much has happened.
Expert:  Michael Holly replied 4 months ago.

Thank you for your reply

My feeling is that this is not organised but that these are individual actions. I think you boss is teasing and flirting not taking actions dictated by HR although she may have been told relations between staff are frowned upon as this is a common policy by employers as it can cause problems in the workplace.

Best wishes

Michael