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Jo C.
Jo C., Barrister
Category: UK Law
Satisfied Customers: 69367
Experience:  Over 5 years in practice.
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Out of jealousy towards a new make friend my wife was

Customer Question

Out of jealousy towards a new make friend my wife was secretly meeting, I managed to have her personal whatsapp messages sent to my phones browser.
I have since deleted this app as it was messing with my head and also the guilt of invading her privacy.
I want to come clean with her about it but I am afraid she will inform the police.
Should I make a statement to the police admitting what I've done?
At the time our marriage was on the rocks and we have since separated.
Submitted: 6 months ago.
Category: UK Law
Expert:  Jo C. replied 6 months ago.
What are you hoping to gain by doing this?
Customer: replied 6 months ago.
I hate myself for being deceitful and also I believe she has her suspicions I have done it.
If I come clean and tell her, and she goes to the police, what would I be facing.
Would it be better for me to go to them and admit what I've done myself?
Expert:  Jo C. replied 6 months ago.
No, there is no sense in that. We do not walk into police stations and admit offences.The trouble is that we don't really know what the allegation could be. If it just one single instance then it is probably a computer misuse act offence which is nothing serious.If she is going to try to attach it to other instances of misconduct then it could turn into a coercive control. You may win in court. The conviction rate is not very high so far as it is a stupid offence that shouldn't have been passed but probably you would prefer not to spend your days defending her attention seeking allegations.
Expert:  Jo C. replied 6 months ago.
Obviously what you did was wrong but we all get things wrong in relationships. Most of us have partners who don't keep the police on speed dial.Can I clarify anything for you?Jo
Customer: replied 6 months ago.
It's not just one instance, I've been spying on her for about a month, every day.
Expert:  Jo C. replied 6 months ago.
Then you are at risk of coercive control.In fairness, to make it out there needs to be more than that and probably it couldn't be shown but you probably have better things to do than defend this.
Customer: replied 6 months ago.
We've never had any secrets, we've always known each other's passwords to the computer, Facebook, email etc.
We have both looked into each other's private accounts throughout our marriage.
Sometimes we've told each other, other times we haven't.
Expert:  Jo C. replied 6 months ago.
Oh yes, that is quite common. Sometimes childish and vengeful people though lie to the police and say that was not the case and it is all part of a massive mind game that their ex has been playing which they never noticed until their ex gave them a grievance.Such people are called professional victims. They cost the country a fortune.
Customer: replied 6 months ago.
I'm still at a loss what to do, should I come clean with my ex and then face the consequences?
Expert:  Jo C. replied 6 months ago.
No, just do nothing.If she reports this she will have to prove it and probably she can't which will just make her feel more angry and frustrated.
Customer: replied 6 months ago.
I think she's got evidence as I stupidly screen captured the conversations
Expert:  Jo C. replied 6 months ago.
There is stil lno point in admitting it.Just do nothing and wait to see if she can prove it.
Customer: replied 6 months ago.
Ok thanks
Expert:  Jo C. replied 6 months ago.
No problem and all the best. Remember that I am always available to help with your questions. Even if I am in Court I will usually pick up a question within 12 hours. For future information, please start your question with ‘For Jo C’. You can also bookmark my profile http://www.justanswer.co.uk/law/expert-remus2004/