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Clare
Clare, Solicitor
Category: UK Law
Satisfied Customers: 33283
Experience:  family solictor with 25 years experience
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I had a FHDR First hearing...The magistrates simply stated

Customer Question

I had a FHDR First hearing...The magistrates simply stated they cant help. Then I was advised to withdraw application and also that my court fee of £215 is not refundable. I had applied for an order for over night stay and it did not get granted and still
I paid the fess? Can I complain about this? I am a fourth time return client of yours in the past month.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: UK Law
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.

What exactly happened?

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I applied to the Principal registry in Holborn for a contact order for an overnight stay.
They said they passed it on to the Lay magistrate in the West London family court. The decision was made by a DJ along with their clerks. (Names are ***** ***** you want them).
The hearing was on 7th September in West London in front of Lay magistrates (no Dj invovled any more). On the day I got a phone call in the morning telling me that the magistrates won’t be able to help as CAFCASS letter was still pending. They set a new date of 16th October 2015. Meanwhile I received the cafcass letter which clearly advised court that:
1) To make an order with contact to commence overnight and school pickups and drop offs.
2) To do this in the next hearing as the order was not made in the first hearing inspite of the fact that it was recommended.
On 16th October when we were called in by the Magistrates said they cannot help. “The case has got a history. Are you represented? Have you got legal advise? You already have an order in place. You have to apply for and enforcement of the order”. All sorts of mixed messages. They were ready to give me a new date of 9th November if I wanted to pursue the case with a DJ.
Then whilst leaving they said it would be good if we could agree to an arrangement mutually. We went out and agreed for contact to start as before (no extension which I had asked for in the application!!). This was mutual agreement which we would take in and get authorised. The magistrates played no part in pursuing the application which was for overnight to commence. Its been over two years now and I have never brought my son home from school nor seen him after his school.
When we went in their story was: “Oh good that you agreed. I said yes but I want overnight. They said well you have to withdraw this one and make another application. I wanted to see my son so we agree for 6 hours fort nightly. They said they will not refund fees and that this is a withdrawn application now. I couldn’t say anything.” Just accepted and walked off.
I came out all frustrated and I now realise that after 4 months of application I am still at square 1.
What are my next steps??
Pls advise.
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.

Have you received a copy of the Order yet?

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
No.But how would it matter. I will probably be sent a copy in the post saying what we had agreed.Its just the previous number of hours and nothing more.They did nothing about the application and now that she is denying overnight contact..what are my next steps??
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.

I need to know what the exact wording was

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Shall i send my previous order?The magistrates referred to it a lot during this hearing
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.

No I am trying to work out how the hearing went off.

I still do not understand why you did not settle for the date with the District Judge - it is what you needed

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
My mistake I guess as I rushed in to it and messed it up.But never the less I want to start over night contact asap.What shall I do??
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
The magistrates said that In future once the mother has agreed eventually it can turn out to be overnight but my point is that I will have to get an order to do that as the other party is clearly not going to agree it by consent.I wanted the judge to see this and make an order and that was the whole point of making the application.
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.

I understood what you were applying for - what I do not understand is why you settled for less?

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I gave in too early I think. I felt like they were playing games and I lost and they won. You see I am not a great fighter and can often not stick to my guns. Thats what happened?What are my options now? Before its too late?The bot***** *****ne is I feel like if I don't push this I will never get the over night? And come on Clare I know the system is biased towards women and this clearly shows that the other party is allowed to walk all over anyone.Pls suggest something
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.

I am afraid that that is indeed the problem.

You agreed to a Consent Order which means that appealing is not practical - although frankly I feel that the Magistrates pushed you into this.

The only option I am afraid is to issue an further application and ask for an Urgent hearing - and be absolutely honest and say that you did not understand that the agreement that you made would close the application

next time take a Mackenzie friend with you!

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Absolutely. They pushed me into this.Does that mean new application and another fees? Also urgent on what basis?
I will surely take a mckenzie this timethey intimidated me into this and i settled in as I was not clear what was happening
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.

Yes it does I am afraid - and Urgent on the basis that in fact it is just a continuation of the previous applictaion

Expert:  Thomas Judge replied 1 year ago.

Whilst some Mackenzie Friends can be of help, where you are dealing in matters which are clearly so very important - children and the time you spend with them - I would always recommend going with a solicitor or indeed a barrister (you can usually go directly to book a barrister) to these proceedings. They don't for a start get bullied by Magistrates. I know they are often more expensive - there are also great books on Amazon on how to represent yourself in the family court. Happy to discuss.

Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.

As we have already discussed I am aware that you cannot afford either a Barrister or a Solicitor - and I fear that book will not help you with being strong when they bully you!

Expert:  Thomas Judge replied 1 year ago.

I really appreciate your financial difficulties - but you will be aware that if you can get a barrister or a solicitor it will greatly improve your chances. Happy to discuss and please rate positive

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Hi Thomas. How would you help me? Please let me know as I am looking forward to put the application very soon.
Expert:  Thomas Judge replied 1 year ago.

what questions do you have?

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
As its a second urgent application I am presuming they will allocate it to a judge and I will continue to push it myself and not agree to any alternate contact arrangements?Or is there any other possibilities?
Expert:  Thomas Judge replied 1 year ago.

I am afraid not. They would keep it before magistrates I am afraid - hence the need to push and be proactive. Happy to discuss

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Hi Thomas.
The lay magistrates said the case has a history and needs to go back to the Judge. I think the woman who was chairing them was rather intimidating and cunning and she knew she was manipulating hence she asked me whether I was represented or not? The moment she realized I was not she started playing around.So you are saying that if I put a barrister in front of her then I might be able to get them to agree to an order.
But clearly she gave me the excuse that I had made an incorrect application and that I had to apply for an order enforcement as there was an order in place already.Then she changed stories including the fact that I would have to withdraw the application and be happy with the contact because that is the best she could do.Is this a joke?? Bloody I have lost all faith in this justice system as it is so much driven by women. All the women in this country get away with all the crap they want to. Utter non sense
Expert:  Thomas Judge replied 1 year ago.

The magistrates have the power to transfer the matter upto a district judge on a variety of reasons - one being complexity. So you can ask for the matter to be transferred up. As mentioned before it is always better to get a barrister or solicitor if you can afford it. There are very good books on amazon on how to represent yourself in the family court. I always think it is better to be as forearmed as you possibly can in these cases. Happy to discuss. Please rate positive

Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.

What actually happened was that the matter was being listed to be hear by a District Judge but you felt pressured into an agreement

This led to a Final Order being made - which is why the Magistrate spoke about enforcement.

Assuming that you make the applictaion immediately then you can ask that the matter is referred to the District Judge since this is what the Justices had already directed PRIOR to the agreement

Expert:  Thomas Judge replied 1 year ago.

My apologises. My colleague did not realise I was helping you. If you have any further questions please advise

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Hi Clare,Yes. I certainly felt pressured and the fact that I had not seen my son made it even worse. It resulted in me accepting what I was given not realizing that I actually wanted overnight and also I was not aware of the consequences (namely the fact that my application will be asked to withdrawn). However I have not received any thing from the court in post yet. Will they post the current arrangement we have agreed which is just extension of time limit by 2 hours. So 6 hours instead of four.One key question is what argument do I put inn the application form this time round?
Shall I say enforcement of the previous order being made a year ago in which it was stated that "Such contact namely longer hours or holiday contact to be reached between parties by mutual agreement". This order to me looks like nothing but a consent and as the other party is not increasing the overnight contact to me the only way out is to make another application to ask for overnight contact. Asking for enforcement of an order which had nothing stated except the fact that any contact to be mutually agreed is simply not good enough and is not working for in my case.Claire..would it be helpful if i scan and send you the so called orders of consent orders being made till date so you can guide me straight to the point?Thanks
Expert:  Thomas Judge replied 1 year ago.

The court will send the order which has been agreed at the last hearing. So the 6 hours rather than the 4. You are applying because you want an increase and you thought that this would happen.

Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.

Yes it would be helpful to send copies

However the reason you are applying is because you did not understand that the agreement that you reached that day would end the application to extend contact - you simply thought that it would enable contact to restart while your full application was considered

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Hi Clare. I have not received any copies yet. I thought i would update you. I have not yet made an application. However I wanted to know that if I make this application for contact to progress overnight and then I have to move somewhere else what would happen then? My job requires me to travel and in near future I might have to move to America or India.
What happens of the agreement then?Also shall I apply for a prohibited steps order on my ex as I ahve heard that she might move some where else with her new partner? I understand I could ask all this in just one applciation ..right?
Also my hearing was on 16th october amd just wanted to know what would be a realisitc time scale in order for the application to be considered as a review of the very recent application? I mean i just want to be sure what the downsides will be before i apply for the necessary contact arrangements and the prohibited steps order?thanks
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Hi Clare.Hope you are well. Would you please answer the above query?
Thnx
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.

If you do move what contact would you be looking for?

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I would be looking for my son to be spending his school vacations with me in America or India.Also the new development you should know is that my wife's solicitors have sent me an email last week stating that they will not be able to send my son for contact as my ex has been advised bed rest by the doctor. I know she has a back problem but this just means that she can just deny contact on medically unfit grounds saying she cannot come to drop my son and this would mean I don't see my son regularly? I haven't seen him for three weeks now and don't know when I will see him next.What type of contact should i be applying for assuming that I am here in the uk for the next 2-3 years.Thanks
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Hi Clare. Hope you are well.Pls update me with an answer to above. Thnx
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.

My apologies for the delay.

To be frank it is now too late to make the applictaion that I originally suggested as it has been over a month since the order was made - indeed it is closer to two months and the whole basis of your application would have been that you realised immediately that you have been bounced into something you did not understand.

When you do apply for your overnight contact then if your circumstances change you will have to apply to vary the order

If you fear she will move away with the child you can seek a Prohibited Steps Order to prevent any change of school without your being consulted.

With regard to the missed contact her bad back is not an adequate excuse as she should arrange for someone else to bring him

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Hi Clare,
Thanks for the answer. She has been prolonging the contact and now she has written through her solicitors that she will not allow contact until her back is sorted. She has written that she has got serious injuries.My rationale now is that I make and application for contact and state that as she is not fit to look after Tilak I want an order asking for a whole day (Saturday) every week. If this non sense continues my son will forget all memories he has with me.Is it wise to make an application for a new order now. I also intent to include the prohibited steps order to stop her moving away.Also would the cafcass now be involved. Last time they did phone the parites and originally suggested that the order be made. This was in october this year.Please answer. Thanks
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
at what point can my son say that I want to stay with Daddy and the court would actually transfer the custody to me then to her? Is tis possible at all?By all likelihood her new partner is not very accommodating and also this lady loosing her back and ill health my son actually says that he wants to stay over with me??
He is just six at the moment
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.

Just to clarify - there is an existing Order for Contact that she is currently breaching is that correct?

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
she is breaching it. The last one which we agreed to on the day was contact for 6 hours on saturdays every fortnight. This saturday it will be four weeks and she is saying she is severely ill and not giving me contact.
What shall i do?
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.

Apply to enforce it immediately

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Sure. Would if mean application for enforcement of an order?Do I put it as urgent application? Shall I also include prohibited steps order with the same application?thanks
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I have not received any sort of communication for the court. I have asked the other party to send me a scanned copy if they have got anything.
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.

At this stage simply apply to enforce the order using a form C79

Customer: replied 12 months ago.
Dear clare,If I may refer to my situation in June. In the first place I should have applied for the enforcement of the then existing order as we had an order in place and she had stopped giving contact. I asked you for advise and we agreed I need to make and application for a contact order but actually it should have been for enforcement of the already existing order.Just wanted to raise this up. I know it wouldn't change anything now. And in light of this enforcement order you are asking to make I simply do not have any order from the court. I have just managed to get an email confirmation form the other party's solicitor on what we had agreed, But I do not have a court letter confirming that unlike my previous order.What references shall I put for the court to look at? Is it just the case number ***** the hearing date and then what we had agreed? Would that suffice for them to look into this matter?I want to make sure that I am filling the necessary forms this time as £215 a pop every time round plus taking days off for hearing is very expensive for me.Appreciated.Thanks
Expert:  Clare replied 12 months ago.

It could not be an enforcement applictaion as you cannot enforce an unspecified increase - you needed to make the applictaion so that it included a specific provision for overnight contact and overnight contact was what you wished to achieve

You have sufficient details to apply to enforce the agreement reached at court - so apply as soon as you can - and add a note saying that you have yet to receive the actual order

Customer: replied 11 months ago.
Hi clare,Many thanks for the answer. I have prepared the application and am giving it in the court today. What would the court do next? How long will it take before the hearing and the contact resumes? Will the court write to the other party? Will there be hearings? In what way should the other party respond?If her medical condition is not good does that increase my chances of more time for meaningful contact as it is beneficial for her also as she can relax a little bit when my son is with me? Should I be prepared for making next application of increase in contact time?Ideally I want more time with my son which is overnight stays. And you can clearly see the respondent is playing up and the court has failed to make order in-spite of the cafcass recommendation.If the court is failing then I do not mind investing in hiring a barrister and make it loud and clear to the court that I need an order as per my wish. I can see the court has played up and hence the other party is slacky in her manners. Should there have been an order in place all this would have been avoided.Pls advise.Thanks
Expert:  Clare replied 11 months ago.

There will be a hearing date set.

At the hearing she will be reminded that she has to obey the court order and told that if she does not then she could face imprisonment

It is unlikely that anything more will happen at that hearing.

Customer: replied 11 months ago.
Do I have to be compulsorily present at the hearing? As she is the one needing reminders, not me.What if I am not present in the hearing? could I send some one else?Also when do I start asking for more contact time? I am sure I will need to make application as she is clearly not going to agree to anything until there is an order and most likely an enforcement order in place.Thanks
Expert:  Clare replied 11 months ago.

Yes you must be there as it is your applictaion

If you are not there then the application will be dismissed

You can raise the issue of extending the contact at the hearing - although her solicitor will say it is not the right time BUT you can point out that her behaviour makes it clear that she will never progress contact herself

Customer: replied 11 months ago.
Absolutely.Lol. These type of people seldom learn their lessons the right way.Lol
Customer: replied 11 months ago.
But if they deny extension as I have also found magistrates kind of bully you and have clearly mis handled this case what should I do in return? Keep application ready?I fear that the court might starts thinking that I am not interested in my child's welfare and contact as I have been contempt with the 4-6 hours of contact fortnightly for the past year and that also only on 10 weekends. A totals to a laughable of 40 hours. What a joke?That to in the presence of three hearings and all this applications. Really I feel so much injustice and as a result my child is suffering.pls advise.
Expert:  Clare replied 11 months ago.

The Courts will not think that.

Since you are aware of the bullying risk it would be best not to attend alone

Customer: replied 11 months ago.
Hi Clare,I want to extend contact for after school as the cafcass has already suggested that the pick up should be from Friday evening and handover should be Monday morning.As this was suggested in the latest cafcass letter of recommendation I want to make this urgently so there is no further delay in the process of application.Thanks,
Customer: replied 11 months ago.
Sorry to write it briefly, but what I meant is that I am making an application for enforcement order. But at the same time I also want the overnight contact to start.As the party is not going to clearly give any form of contact when shall I make the application? As this will only go as further as I push it so I do not want to leave it on courts or make further delays on this.What do you advise?Thanks
Expert:  Clare replied 11 months ago.

I understand that.

Primarily it is an enforcement applictaion but the court does have power to make any Section 8 Order it wants - so you can use the chance to tell the court that it is clear that your ex will not arrange overnight contact with out an order and ask them to order it to start on a specific date with collection form school on the friday and a handover on the saturday

Customer: replied 11 months ago.
Fantastic.Do you advice me to be represented in the court with a barrister or shall I go alone and ask the court strongly to make the order. Will the magistrates look into this?I intend to send a position statement explaining that since 20/6/2015 which is nearly seven month now I have had just one day of contact on 7/11/2015 in-spite of orders and cafcass involvement and recommendations since Feb 2015.Clearly the other party does not think in the best interest of the child hence and order be made.
Expert:  Clare replied 11 months ago.

It is no disrespect to you but you might be better with a barrister as you are simply too nice!

Customer: replied 11 months ago.
Hi Clare,
I went to the court to apply for enforcement order and found out that as I had mutually agreed for contact with the mother the court had withdrawn the application (they actually bullied me to do so). There is no order to be enforced hence I am aksed to make a fresh c100 application and start over again.Have I just wasted six months for nothing. This is ridiculous nonsense from the courts end.
I wish I could I sue that lady magistrate or the legal system?Is making the new application my only option? If so then can I mark it as urgent?Pls advise? I really want to nail down on the court this time as they are not doing their jobs properly
Customer: replied 11 months ago.
Hi Clare,Shall I state its an urgent application based on the fact what has happened?
Thanks
Customer: replied 11 months ago.
Hello Clare,I would appreciate a response please.Many thnaks
Expert:  Clare replied 11 months ago.

My apologies for the delay.

I thought the agreement was turned into an order?

Did they give you a copy of what happened last time

Customer: replied 11 months ago.
They just gave me a letter head from the court stating the below:
====================================Upon the parties reaching agreement at court todayBY ConsentThe court Orders1) The applicant father be given leave to withdrawn teh application.Ordered by Magistrates' court16/10 2015
Expert:  Clare replied 11 months ago.

Please do not misunderstand me when I say you are too nice to ever go to court without support again!

Ok lets reprise

There is a court order in place relating to ocntact made at an earlier date isnt there?

Customer: replied 11 months ago.
This is it. They made it clear that I either approach the mother to ask for contact or make a new application as I had withdrawn the application.They admitted that due to an error they could not post the letter. They confirmed by email that they sent out the letter just last week on the 14th December after my nagging and reminders.Would this help as an excuse that as i did not get any letters I was not sure what had happened and hence now that i realise that no order be made I am applying URGENT consideration for an order to be made.I mean use the above as an excuse for the URGENT application. Otherwise it will be by end of January that i might get a date if that.Thanks
Customer: replied 11 months ago.
pls advise?Thanks
Expert:  Clare replied 11 months ago.

But there was an EARLIER order wasnt there?

Customer: replied 11 months ago.
I think there is one which we agreed in May. Let me check and tell you exactly what it says. I am checking my files now as i type should be updating you in 5 mins
Customer: replied 11 months ago.
Hi the below was ordered on 12/12/2014.After this the cafcass got involved in feb 2015 and recommended us and we mutually agreed contact outside of centre and I used to bring Tilak home. This stopped in July 2015. Then I made an application for new order in August and you know the story after that:
===================================
IT IS ORDERED THAT;1. There shall be such contact between Tilak and his Father as maybe agreed taking into account the recommendations of the CAFCASS officer. Until the CAFCASS officer recommends that unsupervised contact can take place, contact to continue at the Havelock Contact Centre. Once the CAFCASS officer agrees, contact will be unsupervised at times to be agreed but at least 10am to 2pm on alternate Saturdays;2. An officer of CAFCASS is requested to:a) Meet with the parties
b) Visit the Father at his home
c) See Father and Tilak together
d) Make recommendations in respect of future unsupervised contact
e) Report to the Court under s.7 of the Children Act 1989, as to whether there are any reasons why unsupervised contact should not take place for the attention of DJ Robinson3. Unless the CAFCASS officer recommends under paragraph (2)(e) above no further hearing shall be listed, unless either party seeks a hearing by 01.04.15 in writing to DJ Robinson;4. The CAFCASS officer is required to undertake this work by 11.02.15;5. Both parties shall attend a Separated Parents Information Programme as a contact activity order; and6. No order as to costsOrdered by District Judge RobinsonDated: 12.12.14
Customer: replied 11 months ago.
Can I apply for re enforcement of the above order? Because this happens to be the last so called official order. After this what we agreed in march 2015 was through negotiations with her solicitors and family mediation.
Customer: replied 11 months ago.
Hi Clare??
Customer: replied 11 months ago.
pls let me know how to proceed?
thnx
Expert:  Clare replied 11 months ago.

Oh Kamal yet again - please never go to court alone again - they walk all of you which makes me very very angry.

Again the wording of that Order is practically unenforceable.

Right

You do indeed need an urgent hearing.

This will be based on the fact that

1. You did not understand that by agreeing to do as the magistrates suggested and negotiate your applictaion would be counted as withdrawn.

2. You did not understand that the wording of the Order made in December last year meant it would be almost unenforceable in terms of the agreed progression

3. Your ex uses every excuse to stop contact.

Customer: replied 11 months ago.
I use a form C100 again as an application for a child contact order? or do I use for c79?Also if its c100 they ask for the nature of order i seek?Do I state that I am seeking overnight contact with the agreed conditions of pick up and drop off from school?Thanks for a detailed explanations so far.I will now always use a barrister whist going to court.Thanks
Customer: replied 11 months ago.
Posted by JustAnswer at customer's request) Hello. I would like to request the following Expert Service(s) from you: Live Phone Call. Let me know if you need more information, or send me the service offer(s) so we can proceed.
Customer: replied 11 months ago.
Hi Clare.Sorry pressed the talk button by mistake. Please ignore it. Apologies
Customer: replied 11 months ago.
Hi Clare. Would it be form c100 or form c79?
I am taking it would be form c100 right??
Expert:  Clare replied 11 months ago.

Yes Kamal it will be a C100

Customer: replied 11 months ago.
Hi Clare,I understand its a form c100 and i state its an urgent application based on the reasons you have stated before.
Do I opt for without notice hearing? As asked for in section 4b of the form?Clearly my ex does not want any form of contact happening.Pls advise briefly.Many thanks
Expert:  Clare replied 11 months ago.

No it has to be on notice I am afraid

Customer: replied 11 months ago.
Hi Clare,I have the application ready for contact order. Shall I also apply for prohibited steps order along with this? I suspect the other party is planning to move away from where I stay in order to stop / disturb contact. What are my other options?I just want to make sure that I have tied her down on all ends. As such the court has not been very unfavourable to me and to this case so do not want to wait to make any future applications as I am fed up of going to courts all the time.This time I want the contact to be finalised and I am going to deploy barristers all the time I have to go to the court.Also I want to participate in the school activities of my child. His parents evenings or performance evenings rather then just weekend contact.What possible sort of contact arrangements could I write down to get this enforced in the order. I have a prohibited steps order restricting me to go to the school. I do not want overnight contact just yet.I seek Saturday contact from 10 am till 8:30 am every weekend.
I seek contact on holidays as I am also a teacher and can look after Tilak.
I have also sought order to take him to trips during school holidays.
And I also seek to see him during his school activities.Its ok if you do not respond urgently today itself. I can wait as I want to fill the correct forms and know the whole process inside out and do the right thing this time round.Much appreciated.
Expert:  Clare replied 11 months ago.

Is there anything preventing you from going to school activities?

Customer: replied 11 months ago.
I previously had a prohibited steps order to remove Tilak from the primary school he is studying as my wife feared I would abduct him. This order is i think still in place but I have given undertakings at court not to do anything silly. And me being a secondary specialist A level maths teacher wouldn't do it anyway.I just thought it would be not good to mingle around in his school as my ex can create issues. But from what you are saying I think there should be nothing stopping me in phoning the school to find out about my son's progress and to request them to let me know any activities he might be involved in? Right?
Customer: replied 11 months ago.
I mean I don't need to have an order to do this. Or i don't need my ex's permission to see my son performing any activities in school on stage right?I am sure my son would love me to be there.
Expert:  Clare replied 11 months ago.

You are fully entitled to speak to the school; to ask for copies of all reports and to attend parents evenings and any other events.

You are seeking a child arrangement order for set times for contact - alternate weekends Friday to Monday one evening in the week and half of all school holidays.

Customer: replied 11 months ago.
Oh. That's great info. Many thanks.What about application for the prohibited steps order to stop that woman getting away with anything in future just in case?Also Should I ask for all the above forms of contact to start happening immediately in the very first instance of my application?Or should I wait for the day of the hearing and the negotiate?
Expert:  Clare replied 11 months ago.

Unless you know for a fact she is moving away you cannot ask for the Prohibited Steps Order

As you should know by now nothing can be started at the first hearing unless you both agree.

By all means negotiate - but please do not let yourself be bullied!

Customer: replied 11 months ago.
Hi Clare,
Quick update. I have attached the letter i got from court. just wanted you to go through it.I understand its a standard FHDRA. I intend to take a PSU volunteer with me for support on that day against a barrister. I will be strong to not get bullied by the judge (thanks its not a magistrate) and in the interim (if there happens to be a day of final hearing) I will ask for 9-10 hours of contact every Saturday.Pls advice me if I need to be careful of anything.Thanks
Customer: replied 11 months ago.
Pls find the letter attached.
Expert:  Clare replied 11 months ago.

It is all good

Stay calm stay clear and apologise for not understanding what was happening last time!

Customer: replied 11 months ago.
Ok. Thanks.so you say that i should be asking for contact in interim if they don't make a final order or it gets listed for a second or final hearing??
What about the cafcass letter bit at the bottom of the page? Will they get involved this time?They simply phone and make suggestions and the court has not listened to it in the past and has failed to make any orders?
I am bit sceptical about this cafcass bit?Thanks
Expert:  Clare replied 11 months ago.

The CAFCASS part is just standard - the phone calls and checks etc

In the negotiations ask for the interim contact - and get the court to make the Order!

Customer: replied 11 months ago.
Hi Clare,Hope you are well. My ex wife has given me a hint via a family member that if she lets go off the monthly £180 which I pay her as per agreement in our financial consent order which was a clean break consent order then will i let go off contact?We agreed this in June 2014 and hence its been over a year now and I simply want to stop the money.What could be the repercussions of this legally? Will CSA get involved? What are my ups or downs in this aspect??Thanks
Expert:  Clare replied 11 months ago.

Do you wish to stop seeing your son?

is the £180 child or spouse maintenance?

Customer: replied 11 months ago.
No I do not wish to stop seeing my son. But if there is anything I could do to save money and give it directly to my son when he is older then ii would like to go for it.
The £180 is child maintenance.This was a fixed sum agreed and according to the calculator on CSA I owe her more than that if gone through that route. I guess she is avoiding the route of csa because that would mean giving over night contact which she does not want however she wants the money and hence she is sticking to contact that she wishes not what i am legally entitled to.But playing around with the maintenance would be my part of the dealing in response to what she had been doing with the contact arrangements. and taking full advantage of the legal lop holes.
Expert:  Clare replied 11 months ago.

There is no legal loop hole.

If you stop paying then at any time your ex can apply to the CMS (new CSA) and get an assessment done - and i am afraid that the CMS do not get involved in terms of dealing with contact.

More to the point your ex will be able to show that you agreed to not see your child if she did not claim maintenance which will cause you major problems in establishing a relationship either now or in the future

Customer: replied 10 months ago.
Hi Clare,In reference to the above case I have got an email from my ex's solicitor stating that she is pregnant and that she cannot travel and that her doctor has advised her not to travel.The solicitor is asking me to vacate the court hearing on the date and that she can provide a letter from the doctor to confirm this?My point is that pregnancy is a long thing and I co not want that as a reason for not to have contact with my son? after she delivers she will come back stating that she has a back pain and all lot of non sense?What is the best bet out?
She agreed and then stopped the contact?
Customer: replied 10 months ago.
Can I not get an order in interim on the day of hearing in her absence to collect my son from School and drop him to her place the next day?This will not require her to travel and will also give her a little bit of flexibility and comfort to relax. I just want a way to start contacting my son.pls advise.Thanks
Expert:  Clare replied 10 months ago.

When is the hearing and how far does she live from the court?

Customer: replied 10 months ago.
The hearing is on the 8th Feb. Also she lives at a distance of under 5 miles /*****from the court.
Expert:  Clare replied 10 months ago.

Then write to her solicitors and point out that they can represent her at court and that given the clearly serious nature of her problems then someone else is no doubt dealing with the school run and can deal with bringing the child to ocntact

Customer: replied 10 months ago.
I have written to her solicitors and await response. What are my options if they say the client does not agree? What if she gets a note from the doctors?? As I know she that misguiding a poor doctor under the banner of "Pregnancy" would be too easy a task for her!!
Expert:  Clare replied 10 months ago.

It is unlikely that the court will accept this - unless she is indeed in hospital on bedrest - and i am willing to bet she is not

Clare

Customer: replied 10 months ago.
Yeah exactly.So my course of action is I do not vacate the hearing or write to the court about anything and wait for the day. If she doesn't turn up then I guess it will make my case stronger as I expect now for the court to see that she is not acting in the best interests of the child by aborting all contact and based on that all the conspiracies she has accused me off in the past are as false as her intentions.Hopefully the court sees this. I will keep you posted.Thanks
Expert:  Clare replied 10 months ago.

I hope all goes well

Customer: replied 10 months ago.
Hi Clare,
I am getting emails from the other party to vacate the hearing on monday 8th feb.
If I vacate the hearing does it get listed for another date? I am thinking on a contrary i.e that it is unlikely courts will entertain last minute changes and applicants saying they cannot make it that day and ask for another date?With all honesty I am not willing to take day off at work as my job is quite tight and i m being told that the other party is not willing to attend. Cafcass contacted her on 5-6 occasions and she chose not to receive the call. Cafcass listened to my story yesterday and sent me a clear report today (attached) and they have advised that if she is unavailable then the hearing be listed for a full hearing on some other date to look into child safety matters which were previously raised.Shall i call the court and ask for another date? I have been unwell for this whole week and some surgeries are needed in my eye.So A later date after exactly a week would be fine for me.Pls advise.
Thanks
Customer: replied 10 months ago.
here is the cafcass report they sent me today after yesterdays telephone call
Customer: replied 10 months ago.
Hi Clare,I am hoping you are well. I will keep it short.The other party's solicitor called saying he is going to submit medical evidence on Monday. She is not going to attend the hearing. All the standard lies again.Shall I inform court on Monday morning? and then see what they say? Is it ok if I do not attend court on Monday?pls advise?
Customer: replied 10 months ago.
Hi Clare,
I just found out that she is getting married on 14th feb in India. Meaning she would be out of country. I have got the invitation card from a relative so this information is correct? What are the ways in which I can ask for contact to start asap. y hearing is at 10 AM Monday 8th feb.pls advise.
thanks
Expert:  Clare replied 10 months ago.

Hi Kamal

I am speechless at her disregard for the court - and the needs of your child.

I assume that you physically have the card - if so then I would attend Court on Monday and produce it

Given the fact that the CAFCASS officer has pointed out that she could clearly drive last week it will be interesting to see what approach

the court will take to what is clear contempt
Clare

Customer: replied 10 months ago.
Can I have your number so if need be to speak to you on monday whilst the hearing? Her solicitor called me saying he is going to be present. He said he has medical evidence he will present to the court. Thats mentioning she is having stress at the moment and as she has had a mis-carriage in the past and that she fears it might happen again if she has stress regarding contact for the child. the solicitor told me all this.Also do i write a position statement and present it to the court on monday? I fyes what should i write?
I dont have the card. I just have a whatsapp image of the card. But clearly the wedding is in India. 5000 miles and its on 14th feb. So if she has chosen to fly then its going to look pretty bad for her.
I can find out by asking my school if my son is there or not on monday? He must be with her in india if he is signed off from school? Is that a good thing to mention this fact in the court?Thanks
Customer: replied 10 months ago.
Hi Clare,
I wouldn't need much tomorrow but I just want to write a position statement out lining the facts so far?Is that ok?Thanks
Kamal
Expert:  Clare replied 10 months ago.

Hi

It would be sensible to write a position statement setting out what has happened and what you know. - including details of the marriage

Certainly also check if your son is in school

Clare

Customer: replied 10 months ago.
How can I possibly enforce any charges tomorrow against contempt of court should it be established that She is actually in India preparing for her wedding and that she has misled the court on several occasions?I simply want justice and also want in the interim an order be made to see tilak for a minimum of at least 6 hours upon his arrival in the country.Thanks
Expert:  Clare replied 10 months ago.

It is not always possible to get what you want straight away - sometimes you have to let the layers build up so that the Court have a true picture of her behaviour.

Orders may be made which can be enforced when she returns to the UK

Customer: replied 9 months ago.
Hi Clare. Here is the interesting story so far:In a dramatic turn in the hearing where the culprit becomes the victim, today the court has ordered contact to tilak every Saturday 1 to 8 pm. This is a hugh increment in time to which I had. The judge warned Yashvanti not to lie in future or it will be considered contempt of court. She was not available for the hearing and had sent a whole lot of rubbish medical papers which the judge found out to be fraudulent. She lied saying that she is unwell and cannot attend the hearing but the judge questioned about her marriage taking place in 6 days and she did not know that was coming her way. She had lied to the court and the judge found this out right away. In her response to the fact that she needs my passport for tilak's safety the judge argued that it will be her who will have to deposit her passport as she is the one who might settle in India.
Customer: replied 9 months ago.
cheers ***** ***** am a happy dad after two years of tyranny against a liar, fraud and a deceit woman.
Expert:  Clare replied 9 months ago.

Hi Kamal

This is awesome - what a wonderful tribute to your persistence

I hope all goes well

Clare

Customer: replied 9 months ago.
Thanks Clare.Credit to your expert advice and your guidance also. It would not have been possible without it.I now can press prohibited steps order as she is now found to be lying and the judge thinks she is the one who might settle in India. So it is kindaa killing two birds with one stone.What a wonderful world we live in where justice still prevails.Pls correct me if I am wrong here but I think I have sufficient ground to apply for a prohibited steps order. The judge was very cross with her for lying and suggest me a way If I can take / seel any legal action against her for such a deceitful behaviour. This is just to safe gaurd my own self as she has been accusing me of some nasty things which are clearly a whole lot of clod blooded lies of hers.Pls advise.
Expert:  Clare replied 9 months ago.

Hi

A Prohibited Steps Order would indeed be a good idea!

Clare

Customer: replied 9 months ago.
Can I press any legalities against the barrister for very poor representation?
Expert:  Clare replied 9 months ago.

Did your barrister not do a good job?

Customer: replied 9 months ago.
Oh no Clare. You have got it wrong. LOL.I represented myself. I am talking of the other party's barrister who was all over the place in the court room. So much so that when he was talking to his client (in the court room right in front of the judge because the judge made him do that) the judge was actually smiling in her moustaches and winking hilariously at me as we both knew what was coming the other party's way as the judge had the wedding invitation card in her hands which neither the other barrister nor his client (my ex) knew about.Then my ex lied that she is mediacally unfit to do travelling to which the judge asked her to be very careful in answering her next question. And this was: Are you in the UK or are you out of the country this weekend. Thats when she said she is unwell so going to meet her dad's family and is unsure where she is. LOL again. The judge asked her to stop right there and said Thank you very much for lying and misleading to the court. But I have heard enough of your nonsense. LOL again.The judge then got up and said "Mr MAlik" Let me present to you your client's wedding invitation happening on the valentine's day. And this was the moment I cannot forget. The guy must have got the shock of his life. Boy you should have seen the embarrassment and fear on his face when the judge stood up to pass the wedding invitation in his hands for him to have a look it.I actually want to refer him to the Legal ombudsman and tell him in plain words to stop intimidating me and clearly be careful about his own conduct and consider looking at the facts before presenting it to the court. I found him highly unprofessional - the cafcass lady had to request me to lend him my copy of the report as he did not have one. Please advise if I can take any legal action against so called MR "MALIK" as I am sick and tired of these people. The last one of her solicitor was another "Farhana Hussain". The same breed as this one. I hate them to the guts.This was so dramatic I cannot stop laughing. LOL.What has struck me this morning is that to apply for an emergency prohibited steps order "Not to remove Tilaks from jurisdiction" as I am scared she might leave Tilak in India with her "step dad" to whom she is getting married.Is an emergency prohibited steps order a good idea?Is my reason that she has been lying to the judge for such a serious matter , a good enough reason to get this. What do you think?Pls advise.
Thanks
Expert:  Clare replied 9 months ago.

I am afraid that there is no action you can take against them as they do not act for you - however remember you beat them - and that is the best revenge of all

Customer: replied 9 months ago.
Hi Clare,I have got a concern which I want answered. Only the judge DJ Nisa knows the truth about my story of my ex lying over the phone and caught red handed. There is no other documented evidence. Should I apply for any orders in future how do I provide evidence? For eg. For the prohibited steps order would I not have to provide a strong basis on which I am applying.Would the judge have noted all that happened and that she caught my ex lying and hence made the order?How long before would count as urgent for an application for a prohibited steps order? I intend to do the application on Monday next week.Thanks
Expert:  Clare replied 9 months ago.

The Judge will have noted this.

However you should not delay the application for the PSO - Urgent does not mean two weeks later

Customer: replied 9 months ago.
Noted. If I submit the application on Monday that's exactly in after 4 working days. Would that be fine?
Customer: replied 9 months ago.
let me just confirm the terms which i want in the PSO.The first and foremost being that I do not want her to be able to take Tilak anywhere abroad without my written consent and permission.Secondly she certainly cannot take her abroad permanently without my permission.What else can I ask for? The first point is my dey thing.She has also succeeded in getting a PSO against me two years ago when she lied a lot of things and the PSO prohibits me from taking tilak out of jurisdiction. Can I ask her to get this discharged as I want to take my son to show him my home country (India) and his grand parents.I just want to ensure I am playing by the rules so I can ask for what I want. FYI. The judge has listed this for a review hearing in three months time. Would it be the same judge or a different judge?Thanks
Expert:  Clare replied 9 months ago.

Yes that timing is fine

You are asking for an Order that she does not remove the child from the Uk without your agreement or an order from the court

The issue of you taking the child abroad is a separate matter to be dealt with by way of a Specific Issue order when you have some specific holiday plans

It is likely to be the same judge - indeed you can ask for the matter to be reserved to that judge

Customer: replied 9 months ago.
I know she wont take the child away as she is always stuck with her parents and cannot afford to move away from them.so my ask is that I want her to limit from taking my son on holidays to Europe and america with her new partner without my permission.Will that be available in the PSO. Thats what i want. I want it to make it difficult for her to go on holiday sprees with my son and provide me excuses for not making him available on the weekends. I hope I am making sense to you.Thanks
Expert:  Clare replied 9 months ago.

All of that is covered in this phrase

she does not remove the child from the Uk without your agreement or an order from the court

Customer: replied 9 months ago.
Hi Clare,I want the PSO to be specific in that I do not want her to move out of London after her new marriage. This will restrict my access to my son.Can this be imposed?Also I want to take my son off to india for a vacation this summer. What type of order shall i be seeking for? Is it the same application form? I already have a prohibited steps order not to remove my son from jurisdiction.
Expert:  Clare replied 9 months ago.

Ok

try

"no change of school without the agreement of the father or an order form the court"

You will need to apply for a Specific Issue order for the holiday

Customer: replied 9 months ago.
prohibited should also include not leaving the country without my permission. right?
Expert:  Clare replied 9 months ago.

That comes under the not to remove from the UK one

The change of school is separate

Customer: replied 9 months ago.
Hi Clare,I know that woman is getting married to a man with a different surname and I want my son's surname to be the same as mine. It is at present the same as mone. Her surname is ***** ***** same as mine. I am his biological dad and my name is ***** ***** his birth certificate. I understand that she cannot change my son's surname right?Or do I have to do something legal to stop her doing that?Please advise soon.thanks
Customer: replied 9 months ago.
also my understanding is that I can make in one single application all the below mentioned orders namely:1) she does not remove the child from the Uk without your agreement or an order from the court
2) no change of school without the agreement of the father or an order form the courtAnd the third being a specific issues order
3) To liaise with Mr Patel to allow Tilak to go to India to see his grand parents and his extended family from the dad's side. (She cannot excuse not sending Tilak to a third world country (as she has been saying this in her statement s in the past) as she has gone to India for her marriage and has certainly married an Indin citizen again. (I was an India aswell) SO me asking to take my son to India for visits during his summer school holidays should not be too much.My understanding is that I can make all the above phrases in the same order. Please advise.Thanks
Expert:  Clare replied 9 months ago.

Your ex cannot change the child's name without your agreement or a Court Order - no need to do anything else

The third thing you are asking for is

"a Specific Issue Order allowing the applicant to take the child to India for two weeks each year/in 2016

Customer: replied 9 months ago.
I would start with 2016 but want it to happen each year.And I think I can use a form C2 right? As this is under an already exiting proceedings?And one form c2 goes for all the above three stated requirments? Is that right?
Expert:  Clare replied 9 months ago.

Yes!

Customer: replied 9 months ago.
Hi Clare,
I have been approached by the other party by a family member stating that if she lets go off the child benefit amount will I be easing up on the contact I ask for my child every week. (This is just to reduce inconvenience fairly, I also understand that as my child is having a step dad now it becomes difficult at times for him to adjust)
My query is: If I agree to this and on the date of review hearing do not push the holiday contact then can she make an application to CSA later on in say 2 years’ time and ask for a historic check of my income and sort out the balance which I owed her.
Let’s say for eg: She is entitled for £300 a month on the 15%rule. She asks me to agree to £100 a month and in return I don’t push for too much of contact? What are her chances of going to CSA after 3-4 years and asking for a historic claim? I have heard that CSA could go back and trace for the past 5 years or even more.Would it be wise to do such a thing in terms of finances? I don’t want to be cheated in the sense that I do not push for more contact time to avoid her inconvenience and then later on she gets her money by going to CSA.By the way I don want to sound like I’m trading my child against money and as such she has just put this verbally via a family member. Nothing in written so far. I would also wonder if any such arrangement can be formally written up in consent order that she gives in writing that she will not ask for any child maintenance (let’s say for arguments sake that she is a millionaire and does not want any money of mine even though the child is entitled to it)
Expert:  Clare replied 9 months ago.

I am afraid that there is no order that can be made excluding her right to claim Child Maintenance - and however it is set up she will always use any such agreement against you

A CMS (CSA) claim cannot be backdated to a date prior to the first assessment being made - but this would be a very unwise move

Customer: replied 9 months ago.
Oh sure. I will never make an agreement and be stupid. This is just in theory I am trying to understand. I would never take anything that woman is saying.However its interesting to know how you mentioned that CSA cannot back date anything prior to first assessment being made. So far I have not heard from CSA and hence for the past two years I think I have saved two grands and something right?So its just 12 more years of payment. Also if I settle in America would the CSA have any jurisdiction there?
Expert:  Clare replied 9 months ago.

If you move to America the CSA will not be involved - but the Court can set the maintenance and it can be enforced in the States

Customer: replied 9 months ago.
Oh. But that's only if the other party makes an application. But if she doesn't then there is no question of that right?Also most likely I might join a family business in the states and may not have a lot of personal salary to show. How would the court determine what amount to set if say i am jobless in the states?
Expert:  Clare replied 9 months ago.

Correct - for the first part

The second - just remember the States take a more robust criminalising approach to child maintenance!

Customer: replied 9 months ago.
The second - just remember the States take a more robust criminalising approach to child maintenance!By the above sentence do you mean USA are strict about child maintenace and that UK is lenient (just like about every other thing)? Is that correct?
Expert:  Clare replied 9 months ago.

I believe some states make it a crime but my knowledge is limited

Customer: replied 9 months ago.
Ho Clare,
Here's the new situation.
I have been trying to liase for contact with the other party but she has nor replied. She just sent one text saying "I am at the hospital, I will keep you updated".
Seems like she lives in the hospital these days. And I am sure the judge would not want to listen to the same crap.So in order to enforce contact, I believe I use a c2 form to apply for enforcement of an order right??
I have kept the form ready for PSO and specific issue order. Do I also include the enforcement order in this application itself.
Co incidentally the court operated a drop off only service of forms and they have given me tomorrows date for counter service so I can throw in all the three applications tomorrow itself.Is my information correct?Also I understand that this should take some time in the court. In the meanwhile I can call police next saturday and show them the court order to get contact of my child. I intend to go to her home and call the cops there and show them my order. (As suhc the court hasn't sent me any copies yet)Would the above be wise steps??Thanks
Customer: replied 9 months ago.
I do not want to miss out on contacts as the way I see it is its getting hard for the other party to depart with her son and hence needs some sort of legal action to convey the point across that.Also I have got a prohibited steps order against all false claims?? How do I make an application to get this discharged.I want my self reputation back. As such the court now knows what kind of a liar she is and she is not abiding by the law.Time to teach her a lesson. Please inform me of all the steps I could take against her. Much appreciated.
Expert:  Clare replied 9 months ago.

The police cannot help you - so do not call them - and do not go to her home unless that is where handover is meant to take place

The application to enforce the Order is a C79 not a C2 - but do get it in - I suspect the Judge will be looking out for it

Customer: replied 9 months ago.
Oh ok. I wont go to her place. Thats sure. I wont be that silly.So I just make a c79 stating that in-spite of several attempts and an order in place she is not abiding. So once enforcement is there how does that tie her in? Also I am now taking it that this makes it easy for me to take my son abroad for a holiday to usa or india as she is loosing her credit by all the silly actions of hers. Right??I really want to make over all the precious time which I have lost with my son and I also want the holiday contact to start strainght away in easter followed by a vacation abroad in this summer holidays. I am presuming that due to her poor and malicious behaviour it would be easy for me to get a court order implying or enforcing all this. Right??
pls comment
Expert:  Clare replied 9 months ago.

Not easy no I am afraid

You have to work at the pace of the child and the court

However you do have the sympathy of the court and she does not so it is likely that the court will enforce the newest order immediately

Clare

Customer: replied 9 months ago.
Hi Clare,
My hearing was on 8th feb and its over 3 weeks now. I haven't received the court order hence I called the court and found out that the other party's barrister who attended the hearing instead of her has not sent in the written agreed order to the judge to sign hence I have not received one.Now the way i see it is the client (my ex) is asking the barrister to delay the order to the court. She is not giving me contact and I cannot make an enforcement application in the absence of the written court order..ii.e I have to attach it to the application.I am denied contact openly and the system cannot do anything about this. What shall I do now?Its been over 4 months I saw my son last and in the past two years I have seen him only a total of 60 odd hours. The system is seriously failing contact down and the other person seems to be getting away with all this loop-holes. I am so tired of all this now!!Pls advise.
Customer: replied 9 months ago.
I have sent in the C2 for prohibited steps order and the specific issue order asking me right to take my son out on a holiday to India. I have yet to make the enforcement application.
Customer: replied 9 months ago.
Hi Clare,Hope all is well with you.Haven't heard so was just wondering?Regards,
Expert:  Clare replied 9 months ago.

Make the enforcement applictaion regardless - you were there and know what the order said.

Customer: replied 8 months ago.
Hi Clare,There has been a slight change in my schedule. I am actually getting married this easter. This would mean I will be busy and not there to see my son. Also with the new partner i will have to adjust schedules of how often i see him?Is it still a sensible idea to apply enforcement or shall i just wait until the hearing date in a bid to have some time off anyway.Thanks
Expert:  Clare replied 8 months ago.

If you are no longer able to commit then yes you will be better off waiting

Customer: replied 6 months ago.
Hi clare,I have had a hearing on 12 th april and the judge made an order of contact by consent. She also made a prohibited steps order in line that the child cannot be moved out of uk without consent of court or both parties. (I succeeded in putting breaks on the other party going out on holidays with my son as per her will)But she has again not adhered to the contact order (The second time!!) she was warned by the judge and yet again she is not aomplying. The judge also suggested me opendly during the hearing to make an application for enforcement, which i have not done yet. its ready and about to be submitted?I want to apply for enforcemnt and ask for her to pay the costs of my applcaiton and also the solcicotrs costs. Is that ok?
Will she be ordered to pay the cost? as she is the one who is forcing me to make the applcation by not adhereing to the two old contact order?Pls advise.
Expert:  Clare replied 6 months ago.

Well done on what you have achieved - and get that enforcement applictaion in as soon as possible

It is not impossible that you will get a Costs Order bearing in mind the approach of the Judge so far

Customer: replied 6 months ago.
How do I ask for the order to costs? Where do I make my intentions clear to the court to ask for the cost of the order?
Expert:  Clare replied 6 months ago.

You ask for it at the hearing!

Customer: replied 6 months ago.
Hi clare,
I have a question. My wifes new husband phoned me last week to request to delay contact for a few months. As his wife (my ex) is preganat she cannot bear the stress of giving me contact (inspite of two court order! and a warning and being caught for lying in front of the court and misguiding the doctors to obtain fake medical certificates). Clearly they are adamant not to give contact.
During the call I got a lot angry and we exchanged some heated words and swering. My fury was because on the day of the contact they started playing up. First my ex started fooling around her excuses and then her husband called me and was requesting to not ask for contact.I want to take strict action against both of them. Clearly the court / judge has aksed me to apply for enforcement order. Also they granted a mutual consent order agianst her to not remove my child from jusrisdiction or change his school.(es seems to be unhappy as she is not winning her but losing). However I am concerned that they together can brainswash my wife who is soon going to join me. We are a part of a religious group where I will be going with my new partner and I want ot ensure they do not approach her and try creating problems betwen us tow.Also the hostile behaviour of my es'x husband on the phone is very concerning. And I had a police man knocking on my door 3 days ago mentioning that there was an incident and he wanted to investigate. He questioned my young cousing but was given some basic information about my whereabouts and they the cop buggered off.I am a bit scared and want to apply for non moleastation order aginst my ex wife and her husband.. Clearly they have been supporting each other to not allow me to have contact with my child. Also I am concerned about the safety and general welfare of my child.
What shall I do? Please advise.Also I cannot keep up with the paintenance payments which we had agreed in a conset order during clean break up. I want to stop paying money for child maintenance. What consequences can I have. I am not earning well and hence cannot afford payments.I have seen my child only for 6 hours in the past 12 months and have spent a lot of money on getting court orders and appllication forms. Please adivse.Many thanks,
Expert:  Clare replied 6 months ago.

You MUST enforce the order straight away - failure to do so will mean the Judge will question your commitment.

If the child maintenance order has been in place for more than 12 months you can apply to the CMS to complete an assessment - you will have to pay 13% of your gross income

You cannot simply reduce or stop payments - the Court Order can be enforced.

You are not currently entitled to an Injunction based on what you have said

Customer: replied 6 months ago.
My understanding was that I would have to pay a flat 15% of my net income?
Is this gross income rule new?
Expert:  Clare replied 6 months ago.

Yes - and the figure is 12% not 13%

Customer: replied 6 months ago.
When did this rule come in to place? which date?
Expert:  Clare replied 6 months ago.

The legislation was in 2012 and it rolled out in 2013

Customer: replied 6 months ago.
Thanks Clare.
An interesting update for you. I will be very direct to the point. Police came to my residence twice and they want to interview me regarding an incident which has happened on 2nd of May. Apparently someone on the 2nd of May (Monday morning at 4 AM) damaged my ex's vehicle. The police are being told "Two men were seen getting off my registration numbered car and damaged my ex's vehicle. Total lies: (Evidence: My car ran out of MOT and insurance since 12th April the day I landed from India and I have been using the tube (Tickets as evidence) until the 7th May to commute to work (my ex doesn't know this fact!! LOL)
Cuting the story short she has not complied to the two contact orders agreed in the past three months and now she is causing me grief by making false police complaints not to mention she has been caught lying in teh court about her marriage days just hours before she was flying to India and did not attend hearing just 48 hours before boarding the flight)In all I dread she will do something silly and I want to impose actions against her in the court to safe-gaurd my self. She has been found violating and breaking the law. what possible actions can i take against her? Non molestation order? Any other injunctions. I am afraid she might approach my newly we wife and try to brain wash her and also god knows tomorrow can claim I came to harm her new born baby!!Please advise me. I have to take action against her as she clearly is a very dirty woman and misguides the doctors then the judges .including the court and now she is brainwashing the police.HELP!!
Expert:  Clare replied 6 months ago.

Have you enforced the Contact Order?

Customer: replied 6 months ago.
Hi clare,
Due to health issues and an eye surgery I could not submit this. The form is literally ready and I just have to either post it or drop in to the court to hand it over.
What is it that I can do??Thanks
Expert:  Clare replied 6 months ago.

Issue the enforcement straight away

Ask the police if they intend to take action on the waste of their time

Customer: replied 6 months ago.
What if the police says leave it us. I know once I leave the police station if I do not press it police will not do anything.
Can I mention the mishap of this in the court proceedings during the hearing date.
I want the judge to consider all this when issuing enforcement.Also i want to apply for compensation for mental harassment which she has been giving me all these years. At the least the monetary equivalent of all the amounts of fees I have spent in the court trying to get contact. How do I do this?
Pls advise.Many thanks,
Expert:  Clare replied 6 months ago.

You can certainly mention it at court - and say that if there is a further incident you will be applying for an injunction

There is no compensation you can apply for other than to ask for costs

Customer: replied 5 months ago.
Hi Clare,
I have been issued with a letter from my solicitor who was given to me before interview (free of cost) in regards ***** ***** alleged offence. The letter says the matter is being "Reported for summons". I haven't certainly done the alleged offence.You can clearly see the ex is aggravated and jealous of my new marriage and hence doing this. I am more worried of the legal consequence which might affect my career (secondary teaching) due to this.Although I have strong evidences which shows that she has not abided by the court orders ever since past 2.5 years and also the fact that she has been lying of her illness (and being caught red handed going off to India for her marriage 3 days after she did not attend the hearing) I mean its quite black and white what kind of a woman she is. She has been lying and doing things and the family matter judge can smell this from miles.Would the magistrates or whatever people sitting at these courts smell it the same way and give me some justice finally??!!Please advise.
I am quite worried.Many thanks.
Expert:  Clare replied 5 months ago.

Then you will plead not guilty and the matter will come to trial.

This is not linked to the contact and you must enforce the order

Customer: replied 5 months ago.
What would coming to trial mean? I want to press charges against her for harassing me under false obligations all the time. Isn't there a way for me to legally threaten her in a bid to stop her dead in her tracks??!!!
Expert:  Clare replied 5 months ago.

The letter suggests that you are going to be charged.

Any threat of legal action that you make will simply help her look like the defenceless victim

Concentrate on your contact and enforcing the order

Customer: replied 5 months ago.
HI Clare,
I am scared after reading what you have written. I am the victim here. She is a malicious woman who has not abided to anything and have been found guilty of lying and misguiding court to the extent of preparing misleading medical papers from doctors. My new partner is not at all willing to support me in this contact at all after what has been going on with me. I do not see how I will be able to continue contact on a regular basis.This is to such extent that I might even leave this city if not country and settle abroad. My main worry is having accusations to my reputation which hinder my progress to application for permanent residences in other countries. Contact with child is gone for good (from the looks of it as I have no support from my partner) .At the least I don't want my new marriage and my life to suffer.I am asking how do I defend myself. The letter says that the matter has been reported fro summons. I am worried sick and don't want any-more bad things on my DBS (CRB) certificate. In the past I had been the victim and already have a caution due to same mal-practices from the same person.I have not threatened anyone. texting the other party to arrange contact is not threatening. But the other person lying about everything left right and centre in the family court is so much illegal. I want justice.Are you telling me that if the enforcement order gets approved (which I know it will) that the other party stand less chance of succeeding in pressing charges against me? Surely she is pregnant and about to deliver a child and I know its inconvenient for her to do contacts as the doctor has advised her rest.Pls advise on how I can put end to this situations of her making accusations all the time. Its not safe for me to push for contact when she is not at all willing to do this and making accusations. I have made it clear to the family court on multiple occasions that I want hangovers for contact in a public place to safeguard myself should the person start making false accusations again.
Expert:  Clare replied 5 months ago.

You must make a decision

Either you are willing to commit to your son and enforce the order OR you accept that for the sake of your current wife, and to ensure that your son is not exposed to further legal action then you make it clear that you will not longer be pursuing the issue

Customer: replied 5 months ago.
Hi Clare,
What are my chances of initiating contact say after a few months when I have explained to my new wife and that she is ready to support me and go back and bring my child to our new home?
Lets say I do not enforce order and leave it to what it is right now but after 6 months I am ready to seek contact with my son. How would I be able to start this process again? Will the courts favour me? I have clearly been denied contact due to my exs unwillingness to do so!
Expert:  Clare replied 5 months ago.

I am sorry but the longer you leave it the harder is will be to enforce the order.

This is about the needs of the child and not the adults and they need stability and security

Customer: replied 5 months ago.
Hi ***** ex has legally married. Do i still make child maintenance payments?
Expert:  Clare replied 5 months ago.

Yes you remain liable for child maintenance

Customer: replied 5 months ago.
Hi Clare,
If me and my ex enter into another consent order in the court agreeing for child maintenance to say £150 a month or say a lump-sum amount every year i.e. say £1500 a year in the child's account?
Can we agree to a binding consent order along any lines like above in the court and finalize it for say a 3 year or a 5 year period from now? Would the courts recognize them? approve them? stamp them?I want a confirmation from her end that she will not involve CSA application as I want to avoid the hassle?Is going to court and agreeing a mutual consent child maintenance order possible?Thanks
Expert:  Clare replied 5 months ago.

Any agreement that you make can be overturned after 12 months as she can then apply to the CSA

Customer: replied 5 months ago.
We already have one in place? can we still go for another one?
And repeat this say for a few more times in future?
Expert:  Clare replied 5 months ago.

That is an expensive way of doing things but if you wish to do that and she agrees then it is up to you

Customer: replied 5 months ago.
Good. Is there any other inexpensive way of sorting this out. I want to reduce payments by £50 a month as I have less income now.
Expert:  Clare replied 5 months ago.

remind me do you have a court order regarding maintenance?

Customer: replied 5 months ago.
Well. In the final clean break order we had for settling our finances we had agreed to a fixed amount every month for child maintenance. so yes there is a clause in the order which states a fixed amount each month. we agreed this 2 years and a bit ago.
Expert:  Clare replied 5 months ago.

Then you can apply to vary it by way of a Consent Order if you both agree

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