How JustAnswer Works:
  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.
Ask Clare Your Own Question
Clare
Clare, Solicitor
Category: UK Law
Satisfied Customers: 33325
Experience:  family solictor with 25 years experience
13262538
Type Your UK Law Question Here...
Clare is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

I broke up from my ex in january. Since then I have had

Customer Question

hi there, I broke up from my ex in january. Since then I have had contact 2 nighters per week and every other weekend with my 2, 4 and 11 year old children. She has now decided it is too disruptive to the children and has told me that I can now only see them every other weekend. Is there anything I can do?
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: UK Law
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.

Hi

Thank you for your question

My name is Clare

I shall do my best to help you but I need some further information first

What is the actual pattern of midweek contact in terms of timing

Clare

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
hi theremy pattern has been every tuesday and thursday nights, i pick them up at 5:30 and return them for 7:00 the following morning and has been that was since we broke up during term and holiday times.thanks
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.

What time do the little ones go to bed?

Why do they have to go back so early?

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
hithe younger ones go to bed for seven and my eldest goes to bed between 8 and 9, some weekend nights 10 or later.i used to start work at seven thirty work had agreed to allow me to start at 9 on contact days so i could take them to school and them not be so tired.this week just gone my son stayed up very late and didnt sleep well this is during summer holidays.i have pr over all my childrenthanks chris
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.

So in fact they no longer go home at 7am?

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
uh yes they were still returned at seven or just after traffic etc, without fail, i think half past has ever been the latest due to the car breaking down but all weekly contact has been stopped as of now
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.

Hi

I thought you could keep them until 9 now?

Clare

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
hi no work had agreed it but my ex refused and said that 7 was fine even though the kids where still tired
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.

Is it still possible - will your work still agree?

Clare

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
hi sorry for the delayi will work to agree, but shes refused point blank and contact during the week, i have filled out a c100 form in order to obtain a contact order, medation has been attempted but failed, other emails have just been point blake no
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
blank no i meant sorry
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.

Excellent then you have taken all the steps that you need to take

If you still had to return at 7am then I would not be hopeful about the result - but if you can take them to school that will be better.

I suggest that you ask for Friday to Monday on alternate weeks plus the two nights a week and half of all the school holidays.

Your ex will no doubt talk about home work now the eldest is at secondary school - so be ready to address this point

I hope that this is of assistance - please ask if you need further details

Clare

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
thanks, ***** ***** for homework he has only been doing it with me, and the school are prepared to put down his results have improved since he has been doing homework with me, as he doesnt do it at home, he has been told its his problem. not very helpfull.can you tell me is what i am asking unreasonable in court and is it often asked for , and chances of sucsess
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.

No what you are asking for is not unreasonable - my only concern was the &am handover - which would have been fatal to the applictaion!

You have an excellent chance of success - but remember stay CHILD focussed at all times (it is very easy to be drawn into parental rights - you will stand out if you talk about the rights o fthe children!)

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
ok thanks, ***** ***** ask are we allowed to bring others in with us and what the usual waiting times for court are,also are the courts interested in mud slinging or just the kids side, wasnt sure what to prepare for really
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.

The courts are NOT interested in mud slinging - they are interested in the needs of the children - not the adults.

Your first appointment should be within a few weeks and before then you will have a phone call form CAFCASS to ascertain the position - so make sure you are reedy for the call and can clearly outline what you are seeking to achieve.

You can take someone into court with you as a Mackenzie friend - just to take notes.

Details here

http://www.courtsni.gov.uk/en-gb/judicial%20decisions/practice%20directions/documents/practice%20note%2003-12/practice%20note%2003-12.htm

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
claire thanks,
this is good news, i just needed to be prepared, will i am hoping cafcass will inspect my residence, is this normally the case.also, i know my ex will bring the fact that when the children are tired they some time dont want to come to daddys, how best should i approach this
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.

CAFCASS will only become further involved if there are issues regarding the children's safety.

Arrange to collect the children at the end of the school/nursery day - then they can go to bed at their usual time

I am sure sometimes they don't want to leave you as well - this is normal

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
thanks claire i will put these proposals again with an email to my ex just to enure i have covered all option with her and the court can see yet again i am trying to be resonable
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.

Good idea - having it written out is helpful.

Remember calm and child focussed

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
hi there againmy ex partner last night sent a email after a few more saying one nights a week contact would be enough, ill be honest i have not yet replied, stunned as her orignal reasoning was so the children had a routine, and the very basis that she had stopped weekly contact now seems to be out of the window. i remain confused but in the mean time i havent replied and will continue with the court application my concern is this will happen again and again. do or should i adhere to any proposal she makes or should i keep contact to every other weekend untill court so the children are less confused in the mean time ?thanks chris
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.

Friday to Monday alternate weeks plus one night a week is not bad - so keep it in mind

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
thanks claire well i have asked for an extra night the weeks i dont have them on weekends, worth a try, then get this drawn up propertly, thanks chris
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.

Good compromise!

Related UK Law Questions