Hi I will try and help
approximately how long ago did these fights happen?
and how much is the loan?
loan is for £1600 (i'm just in sales, but she is a relatively newly qualified dentist and it was to help with her tax)
the fights occurred between dec of last year and believe the last one was june. i left the house we shared at the start of august.
the problem you have is that if she complains the police will have to investigate. They will take a statement from you and from there, and any witnesses. it will wast e lot of police time but they have an obligation. If there are no witnesses that corroborate the version either way then it will ultimately be your word against hers.
what she is doing is tantamount to blackmail, but again it is which version of events the Court choose to believe
(I am sorry I just have to nip away for a short while please post a reply and I will come back to you asap)
if it helps, i have actually have 2 strings of texts between us where she brings up the incidents and again threatens police action. i then reply itemizing the incidents and describing what happened, both what she did and i did. she makes no effort to dispute them and changes the subject.
as a little further background, shortly before we began dating she was almost sectioned for eating disorders and prescribed antidepressants (she didnt take them). she has a history of self harming when a teenager.since the relationship fell apart, she has since said she was pregnant (must have happened literally days before i left) and told me she was booked in for an abortion. after questioning her on this, i now know this was a lie (the abortion at least, unsure on pregnancy).
i also have evidence of several other lies (minor) she has said to me over the course of the relationship.
this is a a bit of armchair psychology, but having done some reading online and spoken with a social worker i know i think she is a chronic liar or simply a fantasist.
hi back again -sorry about that
it certainly seems like there is something not right about her attitude if this is the case. Ultimately the police and CPS are concerned about what they can prove about the individual cases, and whether anything warrants a charges of GBH,assault etc. The evidence of past lying etc will go to her credibility but will not necessarily dissuade them from bringing a prosecution if they have the evidence.
Ultimately it is a decision for you: - whether you stick to principles and chase her for the money, or draw a line under it and walk away. of course there is no saying that even if you don't pursue her for the money, she wont make a complaint, but that is an unknown quantity
Does this help?
its not quite the clear cut answer i was hoping for but somewhat.
i wouldnt put it past her to comeback to me in however long and try to pursue this. do you think i have a reasonable argument to defend myself against her accusations?
is this simply a case her opinion against my own, or is there something that would mean as a man i should have reacted in anyway physically?
You are entitled to Defend yourself from harm, and use "reasonable force". the definition of reasonable force depends on the circumstance (i.e.. force against grown man is arguably more than than could used against a woman) From what you say you appear to have been reasonably defending yourself, and using reasonable force to do so. however it is impossible to give you a definitive answer as to what the outcome would be as I don't have the full set of evidence available to me. As a gut feeling I think you should be ok, particularly if you have witnesses that support your version of event.
there are no witnesses to anything, apart from when she slapped me whilst we were out one night (before we then went home, and she keyed my car and that incident escalated)
i have no history for violence (durgs arrest when i was 16 or 17), or even a D&D.
i have done quite a bit of kickboxing training, and a little bit of mma though
previous character/history is of course relevant. If there are no witnesses then yes, It is your word against hers, which makes any police case all the hard - remember you are Innocent Until Proven Guilty.
I would recommend not engaging in any more text/email discussion on the subject of the incidents - just stick to the money if you are still going to pursue her for this.
that sounds like a very sensible .
with regards XXXXX XXXXX(?), would you say it comes down to her word (and pictures if she has any) against mine (and the string of texts itemising the incidents that she makes no effort to deny or correct)?
it doesn't seem to me there is an assault on the face of it - but yes, if you were charged it would be a "battle of the witness statements"
spot on. thanks you for your help
you are welcome - hopefully you are worrying for nothing and it will come to nought, but glad I could be of help. If you are happy please click to leave positive feed back so I can be paid for my time. i
i'm feeling much better in it now. even more so if she may have succefully assinated he own character by lying about an abortion.
is tehre anyway i can save this conversation, or should i just copy and paste it into a word document?
Hi sorry just stepped away - it will save to your questions list within your profile - you should be able to re-visit the question thread any time if you log back in
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