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Clare
Clare, Solicitor
Category: UK Law
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Experience:  family solictor with 25 years experience
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My ex and I have been divorced for 5 years. He is 65 and a

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My ex and I have been divorced for 5 years. He is 65 and a New Zealander/US passport holder. He does not have UK residency. He is self employed here. I too am self employed, British 43. I had a son before we were married, and this oldest child is 16. i have two children with my ex - a boy of 12, a girl of 11 who are happy children. The children have had good contact with us both going between two homes easily. We have never been very formal about it, but amiable. I have been easy going, and my ex would say we had shared custody, and does, though its not really the case. I have the two younger children more I'd say. They are close with their older brother. I, Mum, need to move to London for work. I have no income, receive no maintenance or support from my ex, and need to pay bills urgently. (Formerly my income was from writing, but now I need a job since I have no more income from this and have not for a year. I have borrowed money in order to stay here and pay the mortgage which is very high, merely for the childrens stability and schools but now its time to move. i am in debt for the first time in my life. I intend to move to Highbury, Islington (from Kent - an hour and a half away). My partner and I have found a very large 4 bed house and we will move in - my 3 kids and I with him and his daughter (16). I have managed to place the children in an excellent school (oftsed outstanding) in London. The lovely house will be ready end August. The children are happy about the move apart from the things their father says to them. He is tearing them apart over it. He says he will not allow it. He says he will get assistance to stop it.
Is this feasible?
Further, if he physically keeps them from me, closer to the time of the move, what can I do? For instance, if I go to his house and he won't let me take them in time to move into the new home and new school, what can I do?
Should I keep them in my home until then?
I have a small concern he might take them to NZ with him in desperation this summer.
If we go to court, what would a judge order?

Thanks
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: UK Law
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Hi
Thank you for your question
I shall do my best to assist you but I need some further information first
How do the children actually share the average week between you?
Claire
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
We used to do a week on week off but in the last year it has been informal with my ex having 3 days here or there and me having 6 or so. For the last year and a half my ex has been doing a Saturday traders market and therefore has not had kids Friday or Saturdays .


He would claim it was equally split, it's not the case but might be hard to prove as I have kept no records.
Thank you

Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Hi
Looking at the last four weeks how have they gone?
Claire
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Hi there

6 days with me, two or three with him then back.

Best

Louise
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
But it pulled be hard to prove. I do school events etc. Again I have not kept records but could probably trace by emails and texts.
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Hi
What contact will you offer after the move and how will it be financed?
Claire
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
John is in London every Saturday at 8.30 am until 3 doing his market. I would take kids to him every other weekend and we could meet half way on Sunday. He drives in anyway so no cost to take kids back. We'd share financing train journey Sunday, but this is not the issue. The issue is his suing he will prevent children moving to London.

I'd be re with half holidays or slightly more in his favour too, but we haven't got to this stage.

Unlike to know if I am going to lose my kids, and how I ensure I get them to the new house and school ! Thanks very much
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Hi there I can offer too to drive them down every other weekend and to prioritise his holiday dates/times and give him majority share.

I am about to turn in and old very much appreciate your views on the body of my concern per my question.

Thanks very much
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Hi
Your ex is entitled to apply to the courts for a Prohibited Steps Order to stop the change of schools and for a Residence Order stating that the children live with him if you do move to London.
However there is a major difference between his making an application and the court agreeing with him and granting it.
Given their ages much will depend on the wishes of the children and exactly how eager they are to make this move.
If they are content to do so then it is unlikely that a court woudl prevent them - but it is likely that a Contact Order would be made making you responsible for the extra travel in terms of both cost and time
Alternate weekends plus at least half the school holidays would be a minimum.
However if in truth the children would rather remain in their familiar schools and surroundings then it is fair to say that their father is almost certain to gain a Residence Order if you persist in your plans to move.
The most effective way forward at the moment would be arrange to see a Family Mediator (www.familymediationhelpline.co.uk) trained to work with young people so that their real wishes are heard and you both have a chance to ascertain their views
I hope that this is of assistance - please ask if there are any areas which need further expansion
Claire
Clare, Solicitor
Category: UK Law
Satisfied Customers: 29057
Experience: family solictor with 25 years experience
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Clare
Clare
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family solictor with 25 years experience