Firstly, you should consider getting a local immigration solicitor to act on your behalf in the appeal. This will give you the best chance of success. Fees for this would be around £1200-1600+Vat and you can find solicitors via:-
If you do not instruction a solicitor you should get a barrister to act on your behalf at the appeal. Some accept instructions from the general public. Fees around 400-750+vat.
As to point 1, in addition to the photos and travel tickets you should submit correspondence between you and your wife (eg. emails and letters). Provided they are comprehensive this should be sufficient to get around this.
As to point 2. You should instruct a solicitor to draft you an Affidavit confirming the chronology of your employment and self employment including copies of all relevant documentation (eg. P45. Pay Slips, HMRC self assessment registration details, accountant letters and proof of income earned from both self employment and employment.
It would also state that you did not plan to become self-employed at the time of the application and you did not know whether or not you should update them in this regard. You have to rely on them accepting it as an honest mistake. The Affidavit would be sworn in front of a solicitor including a statement of the fact that your relationship is genuine (including above documents). You will need two copies of the affidavit - one to send to the Immigration Appeals Tribunal and the other to the UKBA, both with cover letters fully referenced. Do not wait until the hearing, this will severely prejudice your prospects of success.
You should do this as soon as possible. If the affidavit is comprehensive and adequately evidenced then I would not be surprised to here that the UKBA withdraws their appeal before the hearing.
Again though, I would refer you to my opening paragraph about instructing a local solicitor - there really is no substitute.
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