My ex and I have been through the family courts and the court have ruled that I should get to the see the children every three weeks for at least 4 supervised contacts between the court hearing in February and the dispute resolution hearing in late July.
4 contacts have taken place and the 2 of those were supervised by a social worker, who took over from the original social worker who did the initial child assessment submitted at the first court hearing.
The social worker has verbally fed back to me that in his opinion the mother has gone out of her way to difficult and create hurdles in each of the contact sessions, arriving late, last minute cancellation of transport arrangements, not turning up with one of the children for a couple of the contact sessions etc etc.
His overall perception has been that she is not pro-active in allowing the children to see me and has shown him that if she had her own way there would NO contact at all. He also notes and feels that I am an integral part of their life and being part of their life moving forward is essential.
My ex met a multi-millionaire after we broke up last year and does not want me to be part of their lives moving forward.
She has now confirmed she is moving from the west counties up to suffolk to live with her new partner and the children will move school.
My ex partner has no direct contact with me and uses her new partners solicitors as her 'mouth piece'
I am representing myself as an LIP and communicate with her lawyers directly.
I have today received another email about school fees. Which I have copied and pasted but redacted for data privacy etc.
My personal circumstances are that I am a declared bankrupt as of 23 March 2015 and will remain so until March 2016. I have not told my ex about this but I suspect she knows.
I am registered as self-employed and earn a small amount per month and rely on my new partner and friends to assist in things such as accommodation.
I have recently contacted child maintenance support and registered with them and applied to adopt the 'collect and pay' system they provide, primarily due the acrimonious relationship with my ex.
She has now been contact by them and asked if she will subscribe to this, i.e. I will pay what the department evaluate I am due to pay per month plus a 20% service fee and they will send the funds to her minus a 4% fee.
My ex turned up at one of the contact sessions 'sporting' a new engagement ring as she is to be married soon. The ring is approx 5 carats and looks to be worth about £40-60k, depending on the clarity etc.
I believe the ultimate objective of my ex is to somehow discredit me as a 'responsible father' and apply to the court for Joint PR with her new husband, siting examples such as refusing to pay school fees and support the children's education etc.
I recently responded to an earlier email about school fees and I said, 'In principle I agree to the proposal of paying 1/3 of the children's school fees' - knowing of course that in principle doesn't equate to financial ability, but it shows I am more willing to comply but it will later been seen that I am just not financially able.
I am also still awaiting an answer to my questions of 8 days ago in regards ***** ***** next contact visit is to be scheduled, and will the new home address of my children be, and also an update on he health of my son and access to medical reports for his condition of 'Tics'.
Is the tone and language within the email below, almost threatening and/or a form of emotional blackmail?
Given the multi-millionaire status my ex's new partner, it seems they are playing games with me and there might me a hidden agenda.
What is the best way to answer this type of email and protect my PR with my children.
I was thinking of answering that ''my position in my previous email has not changed and once again I confirm that in principle I am willing to pay 1/3 of the children's school fees'
I really do feel however that her lawyer who was originally tasked to deal with the matter surrounding contact visits is now mixing financial matters and in fact, on three previous occasions mentioned financial matters within the same letter as contact visits.
I feel that I am being taken advantage of because I am an LIP and therefore I need some legal advice as to how to best to deal with this pressure and almost emotional blackmail.
The child maintenance support staff stated to me that if she does not accept the offer to agree to collect and pay, then I have covered myself legally in terms of child maintenance in the eyes of the law and that I should put to one side every month the amount determined by them as the monthly maintenance payment she is due.
COPY OF RECENT EMAIL - REDACTED
Ms. XXXX has discussed with us further the issue of school fees for the children. MsXXXX must ask you to confirm in writing that you are willing to pay the children’s school fees for each term in advance. This is clearly because Ms XXXX wants to be certain that the school fees money is in place at the beginning of each term so that the children can be funded at their respectivie places of education.
Also it is because the offer of funding from Mr XXX (new partner) to pay 1/3rd the children’s school fees is conditional upon your agreement to make these payments in advance of the start of each school term.
You will appreciate that if the school fees are not in place in advance of the beginning of each term Mr XXXX will, should your payments fail to be made, withdraw his own funding and therefore the plans for the children's education would have to be reconsidered.
Ms xxxx wants to be able to rely on your promise to pay a 1/3 of the children's school fees and she hopes that a promise to pay those school fees in advance at the beginning of each term will clarify matters. If these payments cannot be provided for you should be aware that there will be consequences in respect of the children’s education which Ms xxx would much prefer did not arise.
Can you kindly give consideration to this matter and let us know whether that is acceptable as a way forward on the issue of the school fees.