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Clare
Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: UK Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 33898
Experience:  25 years experience of all aspects of family law
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Good Evening, My son is 12 years old and on a Monday I pick

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Good Evening,
My son is 12 years old and on a Monday I pick him up from school and take him to his karate club before having to take him home to his Mum by 8pm latest.
His school is less than 1 mile from my house and he always phones his Mum to ask if he can sleep over like he does on a weekend. His mum always refuses and this upsets him that I have to take him home despite the fact that he must get up an hour earlier at his Mums to catch a bus to travel to school.
tonight he was very upset that I took him home as his Mum would not explain why he is still not allowed to stop during school time even though I live much closer to school and he is happy to stay with me.
apologies for the question being so long but I thought it would be best to give you as much information as possible.
Thank you
Ian Reynolds
Hi

Thank you for your question. My name is XXXXX XXXXX I will try to help with this.

How can I help with this?
Hi
My Colleague has asked me to assist you
Is there a Court Order in place regarding the contact?
Claire
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

There are no court orders in place. We are not 'fully divorced' yet, even though we have been separated for over 3 years.


I have been trying to amicably settle our divorce, however this has stalled for various reasons including the sudden loss of my mother.

Hi
Just to check - does he spend the Sunday night with you?
Claire
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

He has only stayed a couple of times on a Sunday night and this has been when it has suited my Ex-wife eg. when she has had an appointment on a Monday morning and I have ensured that my son gets to school on time.


On other occasions it has only been when he broke his jaw at school and he stayed at my place at night and during the day when he would have been at school.

Hi
It is up to you and your ex to agree arrangements for the child using Family mediation if need be.
Indeed you can use a mediator who is trained to work with young people so that your sons wishes can be expressed.
If you are not able to agree then you can apply to the court for a Defined Contact - or even a Shared Residence Order.
At 12 your child's wishes are of great importance and are likely to be followed by the court.
I hope that this is of assistance - please ask if you need further details
Claire
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

Unfortunately she will not agree to 'Family Mediation', we did have our 'Decree Nisi' issued by the Family courts in 2011, but when my Mum died the divorce was put on hold.

I just need to know if I can go against the decision by my Ex-wife when she states that he can't Stop at my house during the school week (Monday- Thursday). Legally, can he stay at my place without the police knocking on my door stating that I have broken the law.

There are NO Court orders in place. I have a Clean CRB check which is completed every 6 months and I have No previous convictions or any outstanding court orders.

I served my country in the British Army from 1984-1996 and then I left to join Hampshire Constabulary as a Police officer from Jan 1996 - August 2005. I am now a Security Consultant living in Southampton, Hampshire. Both my children live with my Ex-wife as she is the 'primary carer' and they live in the 'marital home'.

Thank you, XXXXX XXXXX this further info helps you to answer my question.

Ian Reynolds

Customer: replied 3 years ago.

I am also aware of options available to me and my Ex-wife, I just need to know if at 12 years old my son can legally stay at my house any time he asks, even if his Mum tells him 'No'.


It's upsetting when I have to drive him home for 8pm telling him that I have to take him home because his Mum tells me I have to and she won't tell him the reason why. I believe that she is being spiteful and does not like the fact that our son prefers to stay with me, his Dad than her. This is my opinion, but I just need to know 'legally' where I stand.


Thank you

Hi
Legally you both have Parental Responsibility and you both have the right to have the child in your care - and the Police do not get involved in Contact Disputes
However rather than simply keep the child and precipitate a period when your ex simply refuses all contact you should apply to the court for a Shared Residence Order to include Sunday and Monday night
The form you need is a C100 available here
http://www.thecustodyminefield.com/CourtForms/C100.pdf
and you can read more about the process here
http://www.cafcass.gov.uk/media/168195/cb7-eng.pdf
Claire
Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: UK Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 33898
Experience: 25 years experience of all aspects of family law
Clare and other UK Family Law Specialists are ready to help you

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