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Thomas Judge
Thomas Judge, Solicitor Advocate
Category: UK Family Law
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Experience:  Award winning lawyer with over 15 years experience
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I am in the final stages of a divorce i.e about to deal with

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I am in the final stages of a divorce i.e about to deal with the financials
My wife asked for a divorce just before New Year and I agreed. I asked if anyone else was involved she said no, absolutely not. I found out 3 months later that that was a lie and that she had been having an affair for about 3-6 months before asking for a divorce. How did I find out? On Mother's Day she was taken out for lunch by our youngest daughter. There was a scene at the restaurant and subsequently at XXXXX XXXXX's where my wife asked our youngest daughter to help her commit suicide. She ran off. The police were involved in the search. Soon after that I became aware that her lover had dumped her that weekend. I then found out about other relationships. My wife is suing for divorce on the grounds of unreasonable behaviour. It is too late for me to turn it around on the grounds of adultery. Anyway, the problem is that I am 68 and she is 53. I do contract work where I pay myself a salary out of my own company and I pay my wife as well. I made her a Director and gave her a 30% share. She thinks all the money I earn is mine and I keep telling her it is the company's money. I have two daughters one aged 20 and in University and the other is 17. Both have said they want to live with me as they think their mother is a selfish, grasping and immoral person. The eldest refused to come home from University for the summer as she could not stand being near her mother. She has brought men home for sex and in one instance my youngest was in the house. She also abandoned the youngest by leaving her all alone without warning to go to Spain with another man. I contract and I work away from home during the week. On father's day my daughter gave me a card which said 'thanks for being the stable parent and thanks for the food'. My wife has not really looked after her since asking for the divorce and I make sure all is well when I return for the weekends. leaving food etc for the week.
The house in mortgage free and is worthy £650,000. We have just had an offer.
I have pensions which are worth £21,000 pa before tax at the moment. My wife has a pension which is worth £25,000 when she claims it. She has £20,000 savings and I have £17,000. I paid all the mortgage on the house the lion's share of the deposit (£150,000+) and my wife about £40,000. I have about £220,000 in endowments that could be turned into a pension and I have deferred this until I am no longer able to get contracting work. I pay myself a salary of £1000 a month from my company, my wife £800 a month and my eldest £450 a month.
She has never contributed to the household running costs or any holidays etc since we have married. I paid everything. How did she get to save more than me? I found out she had been buying out of date food for about £5 and taking out cash of about £50 several time a week recently from the joint account. I have managed to close this.
Between December 30th an April 1st this year my wife spent about £10,000 out of the joint account and our monthly CC bill was between £1800 and £2200. Since stopping her card it is now around £400. I have paid her dividends and myself out of the company funds in the ratio of the shares. All mine went to pay off overdrafts.
Since stopping the joint account I make sure I pay all bills etc (Utilities, Council Tax, Food and so forth.
Last week she declined to accept the offer on the house on the basis that the financials are not settled. I tried telling her that the house sale can go through and the money held on a client account until the financials are agreed. She said no. Last night I asked her why not. She said it could be sorted in a week as long as I agree to the terms i.e. she gets 70% and I get 30%. I said that was ridiculous as I would not be able to buy a house. She said I could get a mortgage, I said I am too old but she could as she had at least 15 more years of working life left. She said she wanted 70% and she would make sure I paid up even if she gets her sister's solicitor on me (she is married to someone worth £20M+) and she would make sure I had nothing. I said 50-50 was fair but that I would expect slightly more as I paid all the mortgage, all endowment were mine and paid by me and that the girls want to live with me. She said no and what's more wants a share of my pension to the tune of 55-45%. The 55% being her share.
What can I do or where do I stand? We had a flaming shouting match last night, the worst ever, our youngest fled home and she was crying because of the argument. I chased after her and found her being picked up by her closest friend's father and mother. We chatted and I thanked them for their help and I broke into tears. Last night I could not stop shaking and was cold and woke up drenched in sweat. It was shock at what my wife was doing to me. (I was highjacked and shot at in Egypt and had the same reaction afterwards.) HELP, where do I stand?
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: UK Family Law
Expert:  Thomas Judge replied 1 year ago.
Thanks for your question. Please remember to RATE once you get my answer.

How long have you been married/together
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

It will be 23 years in October

Expert:  Thomas Judge replied 1 year ago.
If that is the case then the court would look to put all your assets (both you and her) and look to split the assets on a 50-50 basis. If the children are living with you you would argue that you should get a slightly higher percentage and your age would also factor in that scenario (you being the older of the two and she being able to continue to work longer).
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

What about her claim for 70%? Can she get that?

Expert:  Thomas Judge replied 1 year ago.
From the information you have provided above that seems highly unlikely

Please remember to RATE
Thomas Judge, Solicitor Advocate
Category: UK Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 8759
Experience: Award winning lawyer with over 15 years experience
Thomas Judge and other UK Family Law Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

Well at least that stops me taking the overdose. Thank you/

Expert:  Thomas Judge replied 1 year ago.
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Thomas Judge
Thomas Judge
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Award winning lawyer with over 15 years experience