UK Family Law
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I want to stick to the dates. She is insisting on handover on the 10.8 and location within 2-3 hours drive.
1. 10.8 is not the right date (should be 14.8)
If she calls me on the 10th I am not handing the kids over before the 14th to ANYONE! I want to enjoy my 3 weeks. She says she call the police in Crxxtia and notify the UK Court for breach of order. I certainly don't think I would be in breach of anything, can you confirm?
I wouldn't like to be arrested upon my return to the UK, whats your thought on this?
2. Also, she is dictating where she will collect them from...? 2-3 hours drive "from where SHE is" in Crxxtia?!? I want to spend the last week in the UK, do I have to deliver the children back to her in Crxxtia!? She can collect them from my home, is that fair to ask?
3. If I go to collect the children on the 6.9 and she refuses to hand them over saying that "it is not my weekend", what can I do?
4. I have notified her yesterday that I need the children first again next year for 2 family occasions (she had them first 2 years in a row, I have this and the next). She is refusing saying that she also has a family wedding but she didn't mention it until I mentioned mine, presumably just to be awkward.."she wants to see the invitations"...?!? I think I notified her on time, I don't need to supply anything, although I can!
Or do i
The court order doesn't state the date, it just states we "share equally"..we agreed months ago I would take them first and I reminded her of that in a email closer to the date.
I suggested that our daughter could possibly leave 2 the last 2 days so we BOTH benefit from extra time with the children (if she agreed to it). She agreed to her leaving school (I waited 9 days for her reply) and started changing dates around to suit her. I replied and said because she is complicating things, the suggestion is OFF and furthermore, the school weren't keen to let her have the last 2 days off as it would be seen as me using my influence as a governer which I accepted and agreed to stick to the official dates. I stated this to her in an email and she is now threatening with calling the police abroad, notifying the court of breach of order, etc etc.
We also have 2 days of insets for our son (22, 23.7) which should be shared. If I take my son back to her after our weekend (20 and 21.7) and she is not at home (because she said she has now made "other plans"), I will of course keep him until my official holiday start on the 24.7 and tell her he will be ready for handover on the 14.8 as originally told, keeping to the official dates. End of story. If she wants to report a breach of order to the court, she can go for it. Its about time we get this sorted out properly!
Here is a copy of the few emails:
I am not breaching anything. If you don't like it and if you don't collect them on the 14th I will report you to the UK court for breaching the Court order and will be happy to keep them until you show up. If you are not happy, YOU go to court as my solicitor tells me I am not doing anything wrong and I DO NOT NEED TO GO TO COURT FOR ANYTHING. One more email and I will report you to the police for harassment. LEAVE ME ALONE!
From: Nxxxx Jxxxxxxxc <[email protected]> To: Nixxx Jxxxxxxxc <[email protected]> Sent: Saturday, 13 July 2013, 15:06 Subject: Re: Holiday issues - please respond
If you don't handover the children on the 10th Aug I will call Crxxxxan police and notify UK court that you breached your Contact Order.
Please do not harass me with any more emails about this.
From: Nixxx Jxxxxxxxc <[email protected]> To: Nxxxx Jxxxxxxxc <[email protected]> Sent: Saturday, 13 July 2013, 14:59 Subject: Re: Holiday issues - please respond
I waited 9 days, you chose to ignore and in those 9 days the situation changed. I proposed, subject to school agreeing. I have now made plans according to official school dates, the response I got from the school about those 2 days. I only indicated to the school that i may need 2 days and they said to let them know. I waited for you and you didn't respond. You're too late.
Also, it is YOUR responsibility to collect the children, you can not and will not dictate where and when I go on holiday.
My holiday with the children starts when school finishes and official school end date is 23.7. You can collect the children from me on the 14.8 ONLY! No bargaining over this date - end of story.
Also, I have no idea where and how you keep coming up with the 31.8. There are 4 more days after that..where do you shove those days? Those days are within "your holiday half"holiday is also after the 31.8 until the 4.9.
I've said what I have. Stop bothering me. This is how it will be, if you have a problem speak to your solicitor. Do NOT bother me any more.
From: Nxxxx Jxxxxxxxc <[email protected]> To: "[email protected]" <[email protected]> Sent: Saturday, 13 July 2013, 14:44 Subject: Re: Holiday issues - please respond
Children are yours from Friday 19th July up until 10th August, whether or not Mxx goes to school last 2 days - that's your choice now.
Handover on 10th Aug - I will call you on your UK mobile number to arrange exact place and time closer to the date. If you'd prefer that I call you on a different number, then supply that alternative number before 19th July.
From: Nixxx Jxxxxxxxc Yahoo <[email protected]> To: Nxxxx Jxxxxxxxc <[email protected]> Sent: Saturday, 13 July 2013, 14:29 Subject: Re: Holiday issues - please respond
Please refer to official school term dates. Mxx cant leave school early. End of story.
Sent from Yahoo! Mail on Android
From: Nxxxx Jxxxxxxxc <[email protected]>; To: Nixxx Jxxxxxxxc <[email protected]>; Subject: Re: Holiday issues - please respond Sent: Sat, Jul 13, 2013 11:56:26 AM
On 24th June you proposed to get Mxx out of school 2 days early and to start your holiday with the children when Nxxxx finishes school on Friday 19th July. I agreed to your proposal and made my holiday arrangements accordingly.
I split 6 weeks starting from 20th July onwards in two, exactly like we did for the past 2 years, giving us handover date of 10th Aug and your weekend with children 31st Aug.
You tell me 7 days before your holiday is due to start that you changed your plans. That is not on and I don't accept your changes at such short notice. Your holiday with the children starts on Friday 19th July. Handover is on 10th Aug. Your weekend with the children is 31st Aug. We both have 3 weeks with the children, just like last 2 years.
Also, I will come and collect the children from you from Knin (Crxxxxa) on 10th Aug. That's the same distance you travelled last year to collect the children from me so that's the distance I am prepared to travel this year. No other location/distance is acceptable, especially not at such short notice.
You are welcome to instruct your solicitor to go to court over this, I will be happy to attend.
From: Nixxx Jxxxxxxxc <[email protected]> To: Nxxxx Jxxxxxxxc <[email protected]> Sent: Friday, 12 July 2013, 19:57 Subject: Re: Holiday issues - please respond
Sorry, forgot to ad the links in support of my calculations in the previous email. http://www.timeanddate.com/date/durationresult.html?m1=7&d1=24&y1=2013&m2=9&d2=4&y2=2013
From and including: Wednesday, July 24, 2013 To, but not including Wednesday, September 4, 2013
Result: 42 days
It is 42 days from the start date to the end date, but not including the end date
Or 1 month, 11 days excluding the end date
From and including: Wednesday, July 24, 2013 To, but not including Wednesday, August 14, 2013
Result: 21 days
It is 21 days from the start date to the end date, but not including the end date
From and including: Wednesday, August 14, 2013 To, but not including Wednesday, September 4, 2013
From: Nixxx Jxxxxxxxc <[email protected] To: Nxxxx Jxxxxxxxc <[email protected] Sent: Friday, 12 July 2013, 19:29 Subject: Re: Holiday issues - please respond
"I asked you on time and very politely to respond to me and to cooperate on so many issues in the past and you totally ignored not just me, but also my solicitor, so your comments below are highly hypocritical and please keep them to yourself in future. If you feel that you need to get legal advice about anything, you are welcome to go ahead with it."
This is just laughable! :) :) You could have kept that comment to yourself! I waited 9 days for your response on an issue related to the CHILDREN - something I never ignore! :) Let me correct you and unfortunately disappoint you with your plan to "play" with the term dates (so you could "switch the rota" sept onwards): 1. Frankly, its nothing to do with me what day you are going to end your summer holidays (you said 30.8) with the children and come back to the UK (up to Wednesday 4.9 - Mxx's Inset day - if we are splitting it) because the official school holiday does NOT end on the 30.8, but on 4.9. "Your half" of summer holidays ends on the 4.9. with the children and the first weekend after that last day of your holiday is mine (6, 7, 8 Sept) the same way you had that first week the last 2 years. In support of that, please have a look at the official dates below published by Derby City Council. 2. Mxx will be with you and go to school as usual the last 2 days Monday and Tuesday; I have inquired about the 2 days off and will not go ahead with that after having the governors meeting on Wednesday. 3. Weekend 19.7 is my weekend anyway because its still within the school term. Nxxxx has 23rd, 24th of July as INSET days and Mxx is in school anyway 23rd and 24th. We share the INSETS: Monday 9am when Nxxxx would normally be in school (22.7 Inset day 1) I will bring him to you to spend that first INSET with you. Tuesday 9am I will collect him to spend him INSET day 2 with me, I collect Mxx from school Tuesday (start of her holiday). End of story. There is absolutely no reason why you would want to make an issue out of it, but my solicitor says he is happy to go to court (if absolutely necessary) with this argument "with absolute confidence as it is absolute common sense"! 4. You can collect the children on the 14th of August in the morning from 9am and have your equal share of 21 days with them. 5. Location for collection - despite the fact you are going to be in Crxxxxa, I may not be. The first 2 weeks are in the former Yxxxxlavia region (which is certainly all a few hours travel either way), but the third week is not decided yet because we are traveling by car so I will try to be as helpful and accommodating as possible but I certainly NOT take them to the other side of the world for you to collect them from there. So be fair and I will try to be as helpful as I can in terns of location of pick up. Remember you gave me no choice 2 years in a row when collecting the children. I am still being fair (don't know why, except because of the children and whats best for them!). There is a good chance I will be in Crxxxxa and will make every effort to make the handover a smooth one. http://www.derby.gov.uk/education-and-learning/schools-and-colleges/term-and-holiday-dates/#schoolyear201314
From: Nxxxx Jxxxxxxxc <[email protected] To: Nixxx Jxxxxxxxc <[email protected] Sent: Wednesday, 3 July 2013, 0:04 Subject: Re: Holiday issues - please respond
I asked you on time and very politely to respond to me and to cooperate on so many issues in the past and you totally ignored not just me, but also my solicitor, so your comments below are highly hypocritical and please keep them to yourself in future. If you feel that you need to get legal advice about anything, you are welcome to go ahead with it.
2. I'm in agreement that you take Mxx out of school on Monday and Tuesday 22nd and 23rd July and that both children start their holiday on Friday 19th July. Go ahead and approach the school as you suggested.
3. I will collect the children from you on Sat 10th Aug (that gives you full 3 weeks with them) - you have to tell me the exact location where they need to be collected from and it has to be in Crxxxxa (not more than 2-3 hours drive). You will be notified of approx collection time closer to the date.
4. My 3 weeks with the children ends on 30th Aug, so you can have the children the first weekend after that, which starts on Sat 31st Aug. This would have been your weekend anyway had we continued with the rota without holidays. You can then keep both children until 12 noon on Wed 4th Sept (in theory, Mxx should come back to me sooner since she starts school the next day, but I will make an exception because you've not seen children for 3 weeks prior to that). Mxx will start school the next day (Thur 5th Sept) and Nxxxx will spend the 2nd half of his non-school week with me (weekend 7/8th Sept is my weekend with the children) and he will be back in school on Mon 9th Sept.
5. See 4
From: Nixxx Jxxxxxxxc <[email protected] To: Nxxxx Jxxxxxxxc <[email protected] Sent: Tuesday, 2 July 2013, 12:01 Subject: Re: Holiday issues - please respond
Nxxxxa I asked you on time, very politely to cooperate and respond to me "within 2-3 days" regarding the children's summer holidays, yet you are still ignoring the email below sent 9 days ago on the 24.7. (despite having constant access to your laptop and your email). You have absolutely no reasonable excuse for such ignorance when it comes to discussing important children matters, so if you do not respond in the next 24 hours, I will have to take further legal steps to ensure the holiday issues are resolved beforehand.
From: Nixxx Jxxxxxxxc Yahoo <[email protected] To: Nxxxx Jxxxxxxxc <[email protected] Sent: Monday, 24 June 2013, 18:17 Subject: Holiday issues - please respond
1. To reiterate, we already agreed I am taking the children first half of the break this year.
2. As you are aware, the children finish the current and start new school terms this year on different days.
I have spoken to St. Pxxxxxs, they won't make an issue out of Mxx missing the last 2 days, Monday and Tuesday 22-23 July. This works for both us because we would both gain an extra couple of days with the children during the summer break, if they go earlier, you can have them earlier too. Think about it.
I would like to propose that I take Mxx out on Friday so we can start the holiday earlier and at the same time rather than taking Nxxxx and then waiting till Tuesday afternoon to collect Mxx because ultimately we both gain 2 days each. I am happy to approach the school officially again on this issue, you don't have to worry. Please let me know if you agree with this beneficial to both of us proposal. I do expect you to be reasonable about it, just confirm in the next 2-3 days so I know if I need to get my solicitor involved. I think as adults we should be able to resolve this quite easily between us, but I need your answer if you agree that the holiday starts for both the children on the same Friday afternoon.
3. Despite me agreeing to meet half-way for you to have the children (when it is actually each parent's responsibility to collect the children when they are staying with the parent in question), the previous 2 years you asked me to collect the children from you from Pxx, 2-3 hours drive, because you "had no transport". Fine, I did you a favour 2 years in a row, but we need to be fair and stick to the rules to avoid any potential issues . After getting legal advice (just to be safe and sure), it turns out it is your obligation to collect the children from me (just for the record).
If you don't agree with this or don't believe me, you're welcome to consult your "legal team". If you still disagree, then fair enough; we can still thrash it out in court. However, I personally don't think I am suggesting anything unusual.
4. When the schools approached me recently, I gave my consent for Nxxxx to go to Bemxxxx (reluctantly, for the record) because I wanted to save Nxxxx from the headache of ultimately giving a statement for the court just to state where he really wanted to go. That's now the way it is, as parents we should support Nxxxx whichever school it is, but we do have an issue or two regarding the holidays (which don't necessarily have to be an issue if we sort it in a fair way):
Bemxxxx have a different start date to St Pxxxxxs and Nxxxx will still be on holiday when Mxx starts school. Officially summer holiday ends on the 3rd of September for most schools (but not for Bemxxxx) and Mxx has an inset day 4.9 Wednesday (to be shared one way or the other, split or take it in turns). Let me know how you propose to deal with this inset, I'm quite flexible.
Nxxxx has an extra 5 days.. This is not exactly what we had to deal with before but with Nxxxx going to Bemxxxx and having that extra time, that's what we have to deal with now. I am interested in how you propose we deal with this. I need to know as soon as possible because it will affect my holiday plans. I have my idea how to sort it in the fairest way, but would prefer to hear you first.
5. We've practiced a very common sense rota over the previous 2 years (which works for the children) that when one of us comes back from holiday after being with them for a few weeks, the other parent gets the first weekend coming. So to confirm, the first weekend after the holidays, the children will stay with me and we carry on with the rota as per usual. They are aware of this and I've mentioned it briefly when they get back to the UK after 3 weeks, they would have the first weekend with me (as they had the first weekend with you after 3 weeks with me last year and the year before).
I await your answer.
Will do. Thanks, XXXXX XXXXX right. ;)
I'm seeing my solicitor tomorrow as well, will just run it by him (to update him) while we're going through the Financials.
Also, just an update for you as well (as you are on everything else :) ):
at the first financial hearing we sought a direction to remove all the "conduct" rubbish and the judge made a comment that although they can leave it in their disclosure "it has no relevance with the finances whatsoever". Even her barrister made a supportive comment (laughable, I know you'll agree) that "despite all the legal advice given to her client to remove those unnecessary allegations about conduct because they had no relevance, her client insisted on keeping them in there" and literally apologised for her client's ignorance of typical protocol! She came back with 100 something questions (irrelevant) about my disclosure, where as we had some 20 or so questions. We are now to have an official valuation on all the uk properties and respond to the court with the answers we both think are relevant. The court will then make a decision on which other questions are relevant if either of us refuses to answer...those savings look likely to come out of hiding now :)
FAO: ClaireI've tried from justanswer.com, asking you a new question but the site seems to have trouble. Hope you get the question here. Also, I've spoken to my solicitor and he agreed - stick to official dates. She keeps having a go and threatening. Latest threat is next year she will take them to Ausie land and I have to collect them there :) My reply is as follows, please comment. Thanks1. I've made it clear when the holiday starts - please refer to my previous emails and the official government term dates.2. I believe your solicitor should be in contact with you with information from my solicitor; if you're not here, that is not my fault.3. You should find from the solicitor correspondence that the handover location will be in Zxxxxbb on the 14th of August. Exact location will be confirmed a week before handover because I have not yet dealt with accommodation for that week.4. You heard from Mrs Woodhouse (Mxx's headteacher) that all children should be in school next week. Mxx will be, for your information.5. You can call whoever you want, here or in Crxxxxa - that is your choice. I have had legal advice and will follow it.6. Contact with children - I will not prevent you from speaking to the children if you wish do so because it is in their interest and our's to keep the up them happy. If you prevent me from contacting the children on their own mobiles I bought them, such actions will be noted and presented when appropriate7. What date you come back to the UK is up to you. The first weekend in September the children will be with me as noted previously. I come back to the UK day before the start of the next official term start date (3.9). If you refuse to hand them over, I'll take legal steps to ensure they are with me when they should be.8. I will be atXXXXXto bring Nxxxxx for his first Inset; if you're not there because you made other plans, I will look after him for you.9. I have not one location for my holiday this year, it will be in several locations in the former Yugoslavia, that's the best I can tell you. See you on Monday 22.7 9am when I bring Nxxxi to you for his first INSET.________________________________________From: Nxxxxa Jxxxxxxxc <[email protected]To: XXXXX XXXXX <[email protected]Sent: Friday, 19 July 2013, 17:40Subject: Re: Holiday issues - please respondYour 3 weeks with the children starts from tomorrow and handover will take place on 10th Aug in Kxxn. You offered no alternative handover place within the same distance range that you travelled last year to collect them from me and within the acceptable notice period, so we'll stick to Kxxn. You also didn't supply any alternative numbers for contact regarding handover (like I asked you to a week ago), so I will use your UK mobile number. Make sure it is switched on and you are contactable on 9th Aug. If you changed your plans and decided to leave Mxx in school next week, then I believe you have everything you need (school uniform, bag etc) because I won't be here next week. I demand to know where the children will be staying during your 3 weeks - as their mother I have to know that and it's something you should have naturally told me without me even asking! As you already know, children will be with me in Poxxxxa during my 3 weeks with them. All contact between us will be reduced to emergencies only (i.e. I will not be calling to speak with the children and interrupt your holiday and you won't be doing that to my part of the holiday with them either). In case of an emergency, please call my UK mobile number. I will do the same and call your UK mobile number if there is an emergency during my 3 weeks.My 3 weeks with the children ends on 30th Aug, when we're flying back to Dxxxy. You can collect the children from me on Sat 31st Aug and keep them until 12 noon on Wed 4th Sept. The rest of the week and following weekend are mine. Mxx will start school the next day (Thur 5th Sept) and Nxxxi will spend the 2nd half of his non-school week with me and will be back in school on Mon 9th Sept.If you cause any problems with the handover or anything else during the 6 week holiday, I will notify local authorities, my solicitor, social services and the court.
Any brief comments on threats to collect them from Sidney, although I've notified f having them first next year to balance the situation?
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