He asked in the application for he sent to court the following
1) contact (nothing else specified)
2) in section 7 of the form he asked for weekends, holidays and christmas.
3) also wants Joint custody and joint parenting.
These are all the areas he has tormented us- never want to spent weekend, christmas or holidays and would rather go to his sister and brother, leaving me and my son on our own when he was with us. He would not participate voluntarily to interract with my son and considered my son a finacial nuisance really is the best way i can describe his behaviour. We cannot spend any money on anything from cheap childrens books and toys to stimulate him. If I did it I got punished for be a disrespectful wife.
Now, he comes to see my son everyday, but at inconvinient time, usually after 8.30pm, except when his sister ask him to come. Would not agree days and time. On Saturdays he comes about 1pm and we take my son for his swim before going to his drama class. After, he stays till my son goes to bed, between 8 &9 depending on whether he is watching the telly. On sunday, he comes to church and after church he has lunch with us. Sometimes he may leave and come back again after 6. I normally help my son with his homework and music practice, getting ready for monday etc. His routine is severally interrupted but I try to cope as his dad would not have it any other way. When he comes even later as late as 9.30 and my son is in bed, he goes to his room and wakes him up to talk to him. My son is often upset as he could not go to sleep easily again and struggles in the morning. I could hear him saying daddy I am sleeping please dont wake me up shake him and tell him he is not sleepng now.He would accuse me of stopping him to see his son and interefering with his contact with his son.
We have been separated since july 2011. In june 2012 we received counselling and he promised not to distrupt my son's stability and would come to see him, but he did not go into detail regarding how he would do this.
I put myself aside and respect my son's wishes that he would like to see his dad at home and only if I'm there.My son has a very busy routine as he is very talented in music and sport. My son is in a "normal mode" in all respect when his dad comes, without any sign of distress or concern. But once there is a slight indication I may leave him with his dad alone, eg to pop out to the shop, or his dad asking him to come along to the shop alone with him, he is a completely different person. When he goes to the athletic club, his dad comes along, I often stay in the car in the car park not on the field with them. My son is fine with this as he knows where I am and he can always come to me if he does not like what dad does.He also fears that his dad may take him to his relative quite distance away and never let me have him back. There has been threats of potential for this. Unfortunately his dad says things to him or question him about things to do with his relatives that my son knows nothing about,or what I do. He could be considered rude and has to be disciplined if he does not answer, but he can run to me if I am close by. He also knows that his dad would not stand up for him.
It was very hard for me at first and I had to deal with my own feelings and put my son's physical and emotional development first. I thought his dad may change and as he grows he would learnt to relate to my son better. I am prepared to let him come to my home for my son's sake. That's why.