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Clare
Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: UK Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 33280
Experience:  25 years experience of all aspects of family law
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Hi I have been in an abusive relationship for about 3 years

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Hi I have been in an abusive relationship for about 3 years and have lived with my sons dad since October last year. He continues to bring canabis to my property and is constantly abusive emotionally and I have had the have the police out a few times when its was physical abuse. I am at the end of my teather and want him gone but he refuses. It is just my name on the tenancy and I lived here before I met him. We have a joint housing benefit claim. Please could you tell me where i stand?
Hi
Thank you for your question
I shall do my best to assist you but I need some further information first
How old is your son and are you the day to day carer?
Claire
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

My son is 2 years old. I am at home with him all day as is his father as he has been signed off sick for a year with sleep insomnia and on strong medication. Olanzapine and sertraline. I also have a daughter who is 6 from my previous marriage.

Hi
When was the last incidence of physical violence?
Claire
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

January when the police were called. They took him and he came back and slept in my shed. Then barged back in one day when I had my back door open.

HI
Did you call the police and ask them to remove him?
Claire
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

Yes I did then he barged in when my back door was open as I was uaware he had been sleeping in my shed! I hate keep calling the police my children get scared. Socia;l sevices got involved because it was domestic the police have to inform them. Social services were worried about him smoking canabis at my property I keep asking him to stop (he only ever does it outside) although thats not the point I hate it!! I found messages to his friends saying he was going to roll a joint at 11pm at night when he was downstairs and I was asleep. I dont know where he is keeping but yesterday I found two plants growing at the top of my garden I wripped them into pieces and put them in the recycling. Im scared my kids will be taken by social services for not keeping my end of the bargain. I feel ill please help me.

Hi
What agreement have you signed with Social Services?
Claire
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

Nothing they said they didn't need to come out and do a home visit as I assured them no drugs would be bought back to the property.

Hi
May I ask for certainty - do you wish to end your relationship with this person?
Claire
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

Yes it is no life for me or my children more importantly!

Hi
There are two ways forward - but both will need you to be very strong and call the police whenever necessary
Option one is to give him a written notice to leave - in these circumstances 7 days in ample.
At the end of the seven days get the locks changed (if he has a key) and call the police to remove him every time he re-enters or tries to re-enter the property
The second option is to apply to the court for a Non Molestation and Ouster Order from the court.
Given the recent history you may well get Legal Aid for this.
However you will still have to call the police to deal with the matter whenever he returns to the property.
You can get help and support from, www.refuge.org.uk and www.womens aid.org.uk
I hope that this is of assistance - please ask if you need further information
Claire
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

So basically considering i know he will just keep coming back to the house I have to keep calling the police infront of my children that are all ready petrified of them due to the way they handled my partner infront of them when they arrested him? I guess really there is no other way if he is going to keep trying to get in the house.

Hi
I am sorry that you felt that my service was poor meaning that I get no credit for my time and which is not necessary for a refund.
However I am in fact even more sorry that you are right - there is no option available to you which will not at some point involved your having to call the police to have your ex removed since it is clear that he is not willing to put the children first
Claire
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