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Clare
Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: UK Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 28143
Experience:  25 years experience of all aspects of family law
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MY WIFE TOOK OUR TWO CHILDREN 4 AND 7 YEARS OLD,SHE

Customer Question

MY WIFE LEFT ME  20 MAY 2013 AND TOOK OUR TWO CHILDREN 4 AND 7 YEARS OLD,SHE HAS MOVED 20 MILEAS AWAY. SHE WILL NOT TALK AND WILL NOT LET ME HAVE ANY CONTACT WITH OUR CHILDREN WITH THEM EVEN BY PHONE. THE SOCAIL WORKER TOLD ME THEY DO NOT HAVE A PROBLEM WITH ME OR MY WIFE LOOKING AFTER THE CHILDREN BUT MY WIFE WILL NOT TALK AND SHE WILL NOT TELL ME WHERE SHE IS CAN I GET JOINT RESIDANCY ORDER I HAVE SENT MY WIFE A COURT DATE OF HEARING THROUGH THE SOCAIL WORKER THE FIRST HEARING IS ON THE 19TH JULY.


HOW POSSIBLE IS IT FOR ME TO GET A JOINT CUSTODY ORDER SO I SEE OUR CHILDREN EQUAL. 

Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: UK Family Law
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Hi
Thank you for your question
I shall do my best to assist you but I need some further information first
Who had the day to day care of the children before the separation?
What have you actually applied for?
Claire
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

We both lived in same house and both had day to day care of our children we have been together since the childrens birth.

I am on their birth cetificates and before my wife left we looked after them equal i only work part time so i was home most of the time.

 

I have applied for joint residance and contact on form c100 this as been passed to her through the socail worker. the first hearing in on the 19 july.


THIS FAMILY HISTORY MAY HELP YOU

I had no idea she would leave and take our children on 20 may 2013 and had no idea where she or our children where..

i only found out they where safe when our socail worker called me and told me the children where ok. i asked the socail worker where they where? she said she could not tell me becouse my wife did not want to see me.

 

the socail worker has since told me that they do not have a problem with me looking after children, and told me it is a private mater between me and my wife, so i want to court and filled in form c100 and passed it to them to give to my wife.

they also told me they have given my wife the mediation letter i gave them on the 04 june, they said my wife told them she has seen a solicitor and will she will give them the mediation letter and c100.

 

the reason the socail worker was involved with my family in th first place, was becouse in november 2012 i was out with our children, when i returned home at about 6pm i found my wife on the floor, she had drank a full bottle of vodka (she does not drink normally) i phoned the hospital and she stayed in hospital for 3 days.

she said she was not sleeping and drank to help her sleep. she has not drank since..

the socail workers then got involved becouse we had children and to make sure everything was ok with the children.

 

they did an assessment report over the next 4 months and said that both perants where looking after the children ok.

 

my wife and i have had a conflict of interest over our peranting of our children, we argued over mostly little things like what time they go to bed how meny ice creams they are allowed. how much homework they should do, we just could not agree.

my wife wanted it her way i wanted it mine.

 

about 1 year ago we argue and my wife said she would hit me i said if you hit me i will call the police, i said you dont hit people just becouse they do not agree with you. she then hit me and gave me a black eye i called the police, i did not press charges.

since then when we argue instead of hitting me she phones the police. and seemed to win the aruement that way, she has called the 2 times over 4 months. the police have never charged me with anything but i did not realise they call it allaged domestic abuse.

Over the last two years this put a strain on or relationship and we did agree on one thing that we found it hard to live together and where trying to plan and seperate, but on 20 / 05 / 2013 my wife took it on her self and just left with our children,

 

The socail worker told me that now we do not live together we will not argue and it is a private matter and does not cocern them. they also told me they have talked to our children and they do not have a problem seeing their daddy.


I want equal contact with our children up to now i have no contact at all only becouse my wife will not talk, i think the reaso she will not talk is she knows how much i love our children and does not want to contact me after what she did takeing the children and will know how upset i am.

 

if i need to go to court would it be possible to have a order that allows me to.

pck up from their school friday stay with me saturday and sunday then drop them back at school monday?


i have been fully involved with their school lives and want to stay involved with all parts of their lives. and want close to 50 50 contact as possible

my wife moved their school without my knowlage and the socail worker told me it is about 20 miles from me, if this is so it would take about 25 minutes travel time

 

my children have only been in the new scchol for 4 weeks but they where at the old school since they started school my eldest about 3 years youngest 1 year.

would it be possible to move them back to their old school,? then if my wife wanted to stay 20 mile away that would be up to her

 

the reason for this is if i shared weekends with my wife and took the children to school 5 days a week i would need to travel 400 miles a week round trips.

my wife would only travel about 10 miles a week this would make joint residancy more difficult when it does not need to be.

my wife seems to be making things harder than they need to be.

 

would a judge understand this?

i do not want to be stuck with weekends only when i have been a full time dad all their lives.

so far it seems to be going one way only, my wifes way. will a judge understand this?

 

 

Customer: replied 1 year ago.

 


We both lived in same house and both had day to day care of our children we have been together since the childrens birth.


I am on their birth cetificates and before my wife left we looked after them equal i only work part time so i was home most of the time.


 


I have applied for joint residance and contact on form c100 this as been passed to her through the socail worker. the first hearing in on the 19 july.


THIS FAMILY HISTORY MAY HELP YOU


I had no idea she would leave and take our children on 20 may 2013 and had no idea where she or our children where..


i only found out they where safe when our socail worker called me and told me the children where ok. i asked the socail worker where they where? she said she could not tell me becouse my wife did not want to see me.


 


the socail worker has since told me that they do not have a problem with me looking after children, and told me it is a private mater between me and my wife, so i want to court and filled in form c100 and passed it to them to give to my wife.


they also told me they have given my wife the mediation letter i gave them on the 04 june, they said my wife told them she has seen a solicitor and will she will give them the mediation letter and c100.


 


the reason the socail worker was involved with my family in th first place, was becouse in november 2012 i was out with our children, when i returned home at about 6pm i found my wife on the floor, she had drank a full bottle of vodka (she does not drink normally) i phoned the hospital and she stayed in hospital for 3 days.


she said she was not sleeping and drank to help her sleep. she has not drank since..


the socail workers then got involved becouse we had children and to make sure everything was ok with the children.


 


they did an assessment report over the next 4 months and said that both perants where looking after the children ok.


 


my wife and i have had a conflict of interest over our peranting of our children, we argued over mostly little things like what time they go to bed how meny ice creams they are allowed. how much homework they should do, we just could not agree.


my wife wanted it her way i wanted it mine.


 


about 1 year ago we argue and my wife said she would hit me i said if you hit me i will call the police, i said you dont hit people just becouse they do not agree with you. she then hit me and gave me a black eye i called the police, i did not press charges.


since then when we argue instead of hitting me she phones the police. and seemed to win the aruement that way, she has called the 2 times over 4 months. the police have never charged me with anything but i did not realise they call it allaged domestic abuse.


Over the last two years this put a strain on or relationship and we did agree on one thing that we found it hard to live together and where trying to plan and seperate, but on 20 / 05 / 2013 my wife took it on her self and just left with our children,


 


The socail worker told me that now we do not live together we will not argue and it is a private matter and does not cocern them. they also told me they have talked to our children and they do not have a problem seeing their daddy.


I want equal contact with our children up to now i have no contact at all only becouse my wife will not talk, i think the reaso she will not talk is she knows how much i love our children and does not want to contact me after what she did takeing the children and will know how upset i am.


 


if i need to go to court would it be possible to have a order that allows me to.


pck up from their school friday stay with me saturday and sunday then drop them back at school monday?


i have been fully involved with their school lives and want to stay involved with all parts of their lives. and want close to 50 50 contact as possible


my wife moved their school without my knowlage and the socail worker told me it is about 20 miles from me, if this is so it would take about 25 minutes travel time


 


my children have only been in the new scchol for 4 weeks but they where at the old school since they started school my eldest about 3 years youngest 1 year.


would it be possible to move them back to their old school,? then if my wife wanted to stay 20 mile away that would be up to her


 


the reason for this is if i shared weekends with my wife and took the children to school 5 days a week i would need to travel 400 miles a week round trips.


my wife would only travel about 10 miles a week this would make joint residancy more difficult when it does not need to be.


my wife seems to be making things harder than they need to be.


 


would a judge understand this?


i do not want to be stuck with weekends only when i have been a full time dad all their lives.


so far it seems to be going one way only, my wifes way. will a judge understand this?


 


 


Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Hi
My apologies for the delay.
Have you asked for an Urgent hearing?
Claire
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

no becouse the children are in no danger and i didnt think i could unless they where in danger.

also when i filled in the c100 i did not know where my wife was and and to give it to the socail work to pass to my wife maybe the judge thought this may take more time to serve her the notice.

in any case on the c100 I did give my reason for applying was my wife left me and took our children without my knowlaged she will not give me any contact and i need contact.

the court did tell me 19 july was quit quick i applied on 04 june the reason i did not apply sooner is i did not want to go to court i wanted mediation

if i can ask urgent is it to late now to ask for a urgent hearing? and what grounds would i have

Customer: replied 1 year ago.

 


no becouse the children are in no danger and i didnt think i could unless they where in danger.


also when i filled in the c100 i did not know where my wife was and and to give it to the socail work to pass to my wife maybe the judge thought this may take more time to serve her the notice.


in any case on the c100 I did give my reason for applying was my wife left me and took our children without my knowlaged she will not give me any contact and i need contact.


the court did tell me 19 july was quit quick i applied on 04 june the reason i did not apply sooner is i did not want to go to court i wanted mediation


if i can ask urgent is it to late now to ask for a urgent hearing? and what grounds would i have

Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Hi Gary
My thought is that you could in fact make an urgent application for a Specific Issue Order that the children be returned to their old schools for the remainder of the term
There is no guarantee of success - but it is a legitimate application to make and it would require an urgent hearing to determine
In terms of the actual application that you have made it is unlikely that the court will agree to every weekend so ask for two out of three and half of the school holidays - and any midweek contact that you can manage if she stays where she is.
Alternatively ask for the children to be returned to you and for her to have alternate weekends
You can get assistance and support from Families need Fathers (www.fnf.org.uk)
I hope that this is of assistance
Claire
Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: UK Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 28143
Experience: 25 years experience of all aspects of family law
Clare and other UK Family Law Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

 


wife has not replied to my c100 application on form c7


 


does she need to reply?



what will happen if my wife does not attend first hearing?


 

Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
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