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Jo C.
Jo C., Barrister
Category: UK Family Law
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Experience:  Over 5 years in practice.
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I am divorced and have a 7 year old daughter. She has had

Customer Question

I am divorced and have a 7 year old daughter. She has had regular contact with her father since we divorced, she sees him every other weekend and we share holidays. Her father has had a couple of failed relationships since we divorced, and my daughter has been exposed to both of them. The last one she was very fond of and was quite upset when she left. This was only a few months ago. My ex has now introduced to her another partner (whom he has not long been in touch with), despite my asking him to take things slowly with our daughter and not introduce her until their relationship was more established for her best interests he has gone ahead anyway and has informed me she will be moving in in the next month. Firstly she has witnessed them in bed together on the first meeting, the new partner is telling our daughter she loves her, and on the next meeting they have told her they are getting married. I find this utterly irresponsible and not putting our daughters emotional well being above his own. Can I as resident parent change his contact with our daughter as this new situation is not good for her? Secondly do I have any right to know the background of this new partner, I am very worried as she is a very new partner, considerably younger than my ex, Russian and talking of marriage after they have only met a few months ago. I want to know who this person is if she will be taking on a step mother role to my daughter.

Submitted: 10 months ago.
Category: UK Family Law
Expert:  Clare replied 10 months ago.
HI
Thank you for your question
I shall do my best to assist you but I need some further information first.
How long have you been separated and have her school raised any concerns about her well being?
Claire
Customer: replied 10 months ago.

Hi Claire,


 


I separated from my husband in Feb 2009 and divorced in Feb 2011.


 


My daughter has mild cerebral palsy and has more to deal physically and emotionally than her peers at school, and is currently finding it more difficult to build friendships and keep up with some of her work. I therefore feel that emotionally she has more than her fair share to cope with. The school has not been in touch regarding concerns about her homelife, however they have noted that she is always late to school on


a monday morning on his weekend.


 


My daughter gets easily attached to people and my concern feels justified when my ex and his new partner are not easing her into their new relationship at a slow and careful pace. The new partner is moving in shortly and will be taking on a motherly role to my daughter, yet I know nothing about about her, background other than the fact that she is considerably younger than my ex and that she is Russian. I am obviously keen to find out about her if she will be an influence on my daughters life. I know that my ex will not want to meet up.


 


I hope this helps. I would really like to know if I have any legal entitlement to have some basic information on this new girlfriend - and if I am able to control how my ex introduces her into my daughters life. I would also like to have my daughter back on a sunday night so she is well rested and settled for a new school week. Is this reasonable?


 


Thanks

Expert:  Clare replied 10 months ago.
HI
Did you meet the previous two partners?
Claire
Customer: replied 10 months ago.

Not the first one as she - she was moved in immediately - young, Latvian girl - then 6 months later she went. The next one I saw when I went over to pick the my daughter up from the house again she was moved in very quickly into the relationship - young and portuguese - she was civil enough. This one my daughter was very attached to.


 


I am only making a reference to age and nationality as there seems to be a pattern here!

Expert:  Clare replied 10 months ago.
Hi
Is there a court order in place regarding contact?
Claire
Customer: replied 10 months ago.

Hi Claire,


 


There is nothing in my court order relating to access to Francesca. We agreed that this was acceptable contact at the time of the separation and we wrote it on some document at the time - if I recall.

Expert:  Clare replied 10 months ago.
Hi
May I ask - how often in the average half term is your child late for school on a monday - and how late?
Claire
Customer: replied 10 months ago.
Relist: Answer came too late.
Expert:  Clare replied 10 months ago.
Hi
My apologies for any delay - but I do need to know how late your daughter is for school on Monday's - and how often?
Claire

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