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Clare
Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: UK Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 34026
Experience:  25 years experience of all aspects of family law
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Question regarding custody, my partner and me are just about

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Question regarding custody, my partner and me are just about to start mediation with regards XXXXX XXXXX My concern is over custody of the children, my wife just assumes that she will get sole custody automatically as she is the mother. But I currently have a very active life with them during the week, i.e dropping off at school etc. I am certainly not just a weekend dad as such.

I understand that my job will cause issues with the pickups after school etc, but my role could be changed to allow for flexible working to cater for this on the week i would have custody.

Can this level of custody be approved during mediation or would it need a court order?
Hi
Thank you for your question
I shall do my best to assist you but I need some further information first.
How old are the children and does your ex work?
Claire
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

Our Children are 10 yo and 7yo, yes she works part time in a pre school roughly 16 hrs a week.

Hi
What pattern of shared care were you thinking of suggesting?
Claire
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

Perhaps the 1 week on then 1 week off as such..

Hi Simon
That is quite a disruptive arrangement for children of that age who have been used to having a parent who is essentially a stay at home parent up to now
Obviously if your ex is willing to agree to it and make it work then that is great - but if not then it is not a option that is likely to find favour with the court
HOWEVER this does not mean that your ex will automatically get the children full time and you limited to Saturdays and Sundays.
There are ways of sharing care which are more flexible and may not be entirely 50/50 but still provide quality time for both parents
One option is to have alternate weekends (friday to monday) and then two nights a week
Given that you have not been the main carer before now asking for one night a week might be a better start as being more realistic.
Obviously if your work schedule allows half of every school holiday would also be ideal.
Try and be flexible and always remember that stability and security are the watchwords for the children
You can get more information and ideas here
http://theparentconnection.org.uk/
I hope that this is of assistance - please ask if you need further information
Claire
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