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Clare
Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: UK Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 28673
Experience:  25 years experience of all aspects of family law
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Hi Claire its Sean. Im just back from 90 hearing at Court

Resolved Question:

Hi Claire it's Sean.

I'm just back from 90 hearing at Court with the same Judge. At the last FOF (that got adjourned 29yh April)my Barrister got 3 of the 15 allegations struck off, leaving 12. Judge ordered new Scott Schedule from ex. There are now 18 allegations!! My Barrister started to get some of these struck off and got nowhere. All 18 were left in place in favour of the Mother. Judge said that the Father comes from a "dysfunctional" family and that this is a worrying case for him.

You said to me before that ex's standing with the Court will be falling because her allegations are getting wilder with every setback.

I can assure you Claire that it did not look that way today and ex is way ahead of me. I'm stuck for words.

Kind Regards

Sean
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: UK Family Law
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.

claire :

Hi Sean

claire :

I am sorry that it was a difficult time.

claire :

The behaviour of your sister is bound to cause concern -especially in the light of your father's record.

claire :

However there is still the simple fact that there is no evidence to back up the allegations and this will become clear when the evidence is heard

claire :

Stay strong and keep going - her allegations are getting wilder and wilder and you are dealing with them well

Customer:

Ok Claire. Very worrying that the Judge says that I am from a dysfunctional family. Ex asked Judge for the prohibited steps order to be lifted for a month so that she can go to Brazil for a holiday. I'm not sure what happens next regarding this. I sure I told you before that my ex has heart failure. Yesterday she did not look well and she is swollen in the stomach area and her face. No matter what she accuses me of, it's sad to see her like this and I think her body is retaining fluid just like it did in 2008, when she became very ill and was just 2 hours off the heart transplant list, if they couldn't get the water drained from her body in time. To be honest I think that my evil brother and sister becoming involved, has taken its tool on her, cos after all I am my daughters Daddy.

Customer:

Regards Sean

Customer:

toll

Customer:

The format of this page has changed and I am not seeing the usual "Claire is working on your question".

Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Our chat has ended, but you can still continue to ask me questions here until you are satisfied with your answer. Come back to this page to view our conversation and any other new information.

What happens now?

If you haven’t already done so, please rate your answer above. Or, you can reply to me using the box below.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

Hi Claire


 


The page seems to be working better now. I don't know why it was all different. I couldn't see my questions and your answer. Hopefully you get this ok.


 


Judge really did seem to be against me yesterday. The Court did not order disclosures about my Dad and brother, yet they are being used against me in Court. My other two brothers committed suicide. This paints a very bad picture of my family and me, because when I broke my foot I became really depressed after losing all my work and being off for almost a year. I heard voices at this time and needed mental health team to help me. I recovered fully but the opposition are using the "hearing voices" thing in a very big way and that's why my ex has stated that the "father can kill his daughter and then himself".


 


Kind Regards


 


 


Sean

Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
HI
Has a Mental Health report on you been ordered?
Have you asked for a report on her physical health?
Claire
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

Hi Claire, I'm not sure. Months ago the Court gave me "liberty" to provide a mental health report. My GP done a letter which was good and stated that I only suffered anxiety, which was understandable due to the pressure of representing myself as I am a plumber and not a Solicitor. My Mental Health nurse told me yesterday that I am NOT mentally ill.

 

I have not asked for a report on ex's physical health. There are no more hearings in Court before the FOF, which is 7th, 8th, and 9th of August. Does this need to been done through the Court or can my Solicitor ask for it?

 

Regards

 

 

Sean

Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Hi
Are you still seeing a mental health nurse?
Claire
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

No I finished yesterday?

Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Hi
In that case ask her/him for a closing report as well
Your solicitor will then have it available if it is needed
Claire
Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: UK Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 28673
Experience: 25 years experience of all aspects of family law
Clare and other UK Family Law Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

Hi Claire


 


What should I do about ex's physical health?

Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
HI
That is up to you - if you are concerned - then ask.
However it is likely that she will simply say that it is the court proceedings which are causing the problem
Claire
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

Ok Claire. I really feel down because Judge said I come from a dysfunctional family!

I can't believe that family Court is such an horrendous experience with just about everything being thrown at me.

 

The Judge ruled all allegations to be used in favour of the Mother. (18 of them) I have made none about her.

 

My child proceedings started last year with many hearings and then on the day of the FOF.....I have been accused of abusing my daughter!!

 

I don't know what our legal system has come to and why the Judge did not ask......why was this NOT mentioned at the start!!

 

I remember you saying a long time ago that my sister would not be able to "hijack" my case. But that is exactly what has happened and the Judge is very clearly using my Father and Brother's Police interviews against me., because he said they would be used at the FOF.

 

Regards

 

 

Sean

Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Hi
The judge is allowing everything to be used so that there is no question of your ex raising anything more at the FOF - and then he (or she) can listen to all the evidence and make a decision
Stay calm - you have done well until now and will continue to do so
Claire
Customer: replied 1 year ago.


I spoke to my neighbour earlier Claire about my case. He said he has a colleague at work in much the same situation as my case and then at a very late stage....up popped a serious allegation regarding his daughter. Just like what happened to me.


 


The Judge ordered the Mother to get the Police to be involved. He said it is now a criminal investigation.


 


My neighbour said that he believes that the Judge overstepped his power at family Court and that I should be very concerned, because it is the very same Court that I am attending!!


 


Regards


 


 


Sean

Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Hi
No that is not overstepping the courts powers - and please stop listening to horror stories
Claire
Customer: replied 1 year ago.


Trying my best Claire, but I just find this whole process very very upsetting.


 


The only conviction I have in my life is drunk driving many years ago. No cautions, no arrests. Not one phone call to the Police during my marriage.


 


My Barrister told me on Tuesday that the most I can get is supervised contact.


 


Does that sound fair to you?


 


Regards


 


Sean

Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Hi
Any contact at this stage is a plus
I agree it is going to start as supervised - there is no way that the Judge could risk anything else in view of the allegations - but there will be a review in the future for it to move on
Claire
Customer: replied 1 year ago.


Hi Claire. My sisters friend whom she is obsessed with, caused all of this to happen. She is the child protection Police Officer that came over here with her from N Ireland for the FOF in April. I'm sure she spoke to my ex and told her exactly what to say and how to say it.


 


If Police over there think that I abused a child over here, then I am sure they will take that to CPS, regarding my sister from some forty years ago.


 


My whole case here revolves around them over there, I'm sure of it, and they are doing this so they can "get me" !!!!!


 


Kind Regards


 


Sean


 


 

Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Hi
Stay strong - you have never abused your daughter and that will be proved
Claire
Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: UK Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 28673
Experience: 25 years experience of all aspects of family law
Clare and other UK Family Law Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

Hi Claire, In my last statement to the Court I asked for the proper transcript of the tape from 1994 to be ordered by the Court because they only sent a "summary" of the interview. What it says in the file is NOT what was said at that interview, I am 100% sure. I've just remembered that my Barrister did not mention this. The Judge is putting a lot of weight on the three Police disclosures. There are no more hearings before the FOF in August. I guess the Judge will rule on what's there, instead of what's not there ie.....the truth! When does the Judge make his decision, when FOF is finished?

Regards Sean
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Hi
It is unlikely that the tape is still in existence.
None of the Police disclosures reveals anything of any weight - otherwise action would have been taken.
The Decision on what did or did not happen is made at the end of the Finding of Fact hearing
Claire
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

hi Claire, the Judge seemed really concerned about the disclosures. He said I was from a dysfunctional family and that this was a worrying case, therefore I am allowing all allegations (18)in favour of the Mother. I know that the FOF is not going to go my way. I could see it in the Judge's face. He said that my Father admitted to touching my sister and makes no difference if he was charged or not. Believe me, he is very far from happy. The way that the disclosures are presented is very clever and most damaging to me. That's why they were 6 weeks late and some clever person done them this way. Can I appeal immediately and keep the prohibited steps order in place? Regards Sean

Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Hi
If your father did admit it then he is right - whether he was charged or not is irrelevant.
However all that has happened so far is that the Judge has said he wants to hear the evidence to find out how realistic the allegations are - no more and no less.
It is unlikely that the Finding Of Fact will be the final hearing as a CAFCASS report may be required.
Do not think about appeals yet - just concentrate on staying calm for the day
Claire
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

Hi Claire, I sent the Police disclosures to a very prominent criminal Solicitor that I know in N Ireland. He sent me an email yesterday. He finds the Police disclosures to be nothing short of totally "deplorable" and "totally beyond belief", that they were sent to the Director of Public Prosecutions in 1994.


 


He says I should confront the Chief Constable of N Ireland to explain why this has happened and why two of his Police Officers clearly made statements that I had a Solicitor present in 1994....that does not and never has....existed!!


 


I have to attend a FOF hearing in August when in "fact" these disclosures are falsified.


 


Regards


 


Sean

Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Hi
It is unlikely that this will be a major issue on the day - indeed they may not even be referred to
Make your complaint by all means but do not stress about it - it is what your sister says in the stand that will be important - and she can be cross examined
Claire
Customer: replied 1 year ago.


Ok. I'm having a bad day today. My daughters weekly newsletter came today. She's having her First Holy Communion on 22nd and is nothing short of a tragedy that she cannot see her Daddy on this special day for her. Dear God....how did all this happen!!!


 

Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Hi
That must be hard for you- but do try and stay strong
Claire
Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: UK Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 28673
Experience: 25 years experience of all aspects of family law
Clare and other UK Family Law Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

Hi Claire, A few weeks ago the FOF was adjourned cause ex said that she believes that I "groomed" my daughter and will abuse her in the future. She was ordered to make a statement. The statement came and says "perhaps sexually". In the Scott Schedule it clearly says I touched my daughter, yet in her statement it does not say this. My Barrister said that she could not cross examine a Scott Schedule and asked for a new statement. New statement came and it's horrendous!! She says I touched my daughters genitals once a week on the couch for two years, when ex was sitting beside us and on one occasion when I got out of shower I slapped my 3 year old daughter on the head with my willy!!. She says that it only came to her mind when she was talking to people in the refuge!! (January). About 3 weeks after she left the refuge, she did statement number two. There is NO mention of anything regarding my daughter in this statement. This is getting worse and worse all the time. I was ordered to do new statement regarding all allegations in the Scott Schedule. I filed this answer statement at last hearing because ex's was 12 days late. That's means that my ex had all my "answers" to Scott Schedule regarding my daughter, before she made this new statement. There is no order for me to reply to this new statement. I did the reply first....and then ex did statement. This is beyond belief!! My very first statement was sent to my bad sister and then she made hers. My good sister made a statement and that was sent to my bad sister and then my bad sister done another statement about my good sister!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Please forgive me Claire, but I don't know what is going on here!!!! All this seems so wrong.....and I have a Judge telling me that I'm the one that comes from a dysfunctional family!!

 

 

Regards

 

 

Sean

Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Hi
Deep breathe Sean
Now think.
If you had watched your hated ex sexually abuse your daughter three times a week would it have slipped your mind?
This is simply going to make it easier for your barrister - not harder
Claire
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

Ok Claire.


Spoke to my neighbour who is very intelligent (the one that said about Police becoming involved). Ex took out Non molestation against me when she left the refuge, banning me from coming near her. I was representing myself at the time. I did not contest it and told the Judge that I had no intention of ever going near her. My neighbour said that because I did not contest it that all the allegations in her statement are seen as fact and that by me not contesting it.....is an admission of guilt!! Is this true?


 


Regards


 


Sean

Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Hi
No not at all - it could technically e argued on that basis but the court is aware that it is not in fact a formal admission of anything - that is why there is going to be a finding of Fact hearing
Claire
Customer: replied 1 year ago.


To be honest Claire, I don't know how much more I can take. I am ready to pull out, just like the 85% of Dads in the UK who get destroyed by the Family Court system.


 


The Judge made it clear that my Dad admitted touching my sister. I could tell that the Judge is putting a lot of weight on this and that my sister appearing as a witness cause he asked the other side if she was appearing at FOF, and they said yes.


 


My Barrister did say afterwards that my sister is in a much stronger position because of this.

Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Hi
The fact that your father touched your sister does not mean that you have touched your daughter.
It does suggest that your sister has been honest about her abuse - but it still is not proof that YOU touched her
Please stay strong at least until all her evidence has been heard
Claire
Customer: replied 1 year ago.


Ok Claire, is dancing naked in and out of the shower a form of abuse or grooming? To me it was just innocent fun and my willy moving when I danced was only normal. Ex's wording of this is very cleverly done and she is now saying that she always told me to stop this. This is not true and like me she saw it as harmless fun at the time. Her Barrister mentioned this "willy dance" quite a lot and said it was not normal. She said that I groomed my sister when she was 6/7 years old. I was 11/12 years old then and only a child myself and would not have a clue what grooming was. Any mention of "grooming" on the web that I have seen, always is by an adult.

 

Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Hi
Sadly taken out of context many things can seem sinister - but that does not actually make them sinister
Claire
Customer: replied 1 year ago.


Ok Claire, just one more question and I do your rating.

 

I had two girlfriends just before I met my ex. Each of these ladies had two daughters 2 and 4 years, and 12 and 14 years. There was never ever any form of abuse or violence towards these ladies or their daughters. I was still drinking back then also.

 

Ex stopped the FOF because of new allegations regarding my daughter. There was never any mention of anything bad towards my daughter until then.

 

Should I ask my solicitor if I could get statements from these two ladies, or am I too late? I didn't think I needed any statements regarding previous children, until this happened.

 

Thank you and we speak soon.

 

 

Sean

Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Hi
It will not be seen as being relevant so is unlikely to be worth the effort
Claire
Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: UK Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 28673
Experience: 25 years experience of all aspects of family law
Clare and other UK Family Law Specialists are ready to help you

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Clare
Clare
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