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Clare
Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: UK Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 26947
Experience:  25 years experience of all aspects of family law
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I have been split from my husband for over 8 years. Not divorced.

Resolved Question:

I have been split from my husband for over 8 years. Not divorced. I Live in the house bought with my council discount (house lived in for a number of years before he moved in with my child, not his) I have paid for everything in the house and been paying the mortgage since he left. plus the debts and extra taken out on the house. I have been to court over the debts and the judge was appalled he hadn't paid anything and how well i had done to try to keep my head above water working and raising a child. He said i would be i front of him and he would not rule in his favour. (the house is worth approx 112k was valued at approx 69k but had 40% discount but took out an extra 15k with pressure from my husband. now he wants me to give him 40k!. I have been told that MY discount will not count towards the equity so my husbands figures are wrong and he has a large pension approx 30k which the judge said i can count as loss of earnings and sue him for that. i just want to keep my house myself as it was mine before and i have paid for it before and since and he can keep his pension. does he have any rights after so long of not paying anything? Its not fair he has another woman a child and house and wants me to lose everything to give him more when the reason we split is he used me for money
Submitted: 11 months ago.
Category: UK Family Law
Expert:  Clare replied 11 months ago.
Hi
Thank you for your question.
I shall do my best to assist you but I need some further information first.
How much is outstanding on the mortgage.
What other assets and debts do you each have and how much do you each earn?
Claire
Customer: replied 11 months ago.

The mortgage is approx 43k. I earn 20k and I have no idea what he earns.


I do not have a pension as I was too busy paying everything all he paid was for his gym membership and his protein as he is a bodybuilder. I have credit cards debts and loans and overdrafts from when we were together which I have been paying off ever since that did total approx 15k. I also paid off and cleared his ccj that he got from failing to pay his gym membership.The mortgage had an extra 15k taken out so I am paying that also, included in mortgage.


He has a pension that is worth approx 30k. No children together though my son was only 4 when we got together and he never paid a penny towards anything for him, food, clothing, childcare, tutoring or college. He never bought any furniture, appliances, or decor. I paid all bills. If anything went out of his bank account I put it in there or gave him the money. I do have plenty of witnesses to this and I have kept a large number of cheque books etc.


I have a car that again I have bought and paid for myself and need for work. That's worth about 1.5k

Expert:  Clare replied 11 months ago.
Hi
Thank you for that - how long were you living together for?
Claire
Customer: replied 11 months ago.

About 9 years. He moved in with his clothes and nothing more


Thanks

Expert:  Clare replied 11 months ago.
Hi
What is the sum of the debts that you have paid off for him?
Claire
Customer: replied 11 months ago.

I have been paying the mortgage for the whole 8 years since split (he hasn't paid anything) and I was before that as I was giving him the money. I have been paying the debts of credit card one approx 7k and credit card 2 approx 1.5k and bank overdraft and loan that I had to have to make ends meet to pay off credit cards and mortgage of an extra 4k


He did also agree to pay half of everything but then changed his mind a couple of months later when I asked him for payments.


The judge did look at them and say that he should be responsible for them. I told the judge I would be prepared to pay the mortgage and the debts if he would leave me alone to my own house and the judge said that he or either of his colleagues would never agree to him taking 40k off me after he left me to fend for myself for so long and he has such a healthy pension which i could not afford. But obviously I do not have that in writing it was the judges say so on the day but he was horrified and congratulated me for doing so well for me and my son and told the creditor who was trying to force the sale of my house no way and I was to make the payments I had previously offered. Thanks.


 

Expert:  Clare replied 11 months ago.
HI
Did all the loans and credit card debts relating to spending on himself?
Claire
Customer: replied 11 months ago.

Yes, mainly for his general upkeep clothes, computers, speakers, printers and scanners and editing machines as he said he was going to set up his own business designing t-shirts and flyers and never did. Plasma tv, dvd player, DJ decks and hundreds of records. All stuff that was of very little value, broken or he had sold or taken with him by the time we split. Some of the extra on the mortgage went onto a new kitchen which I arranged everything and bought and shopped for everything. The rest he frittered away on going out partying and clothes and his gym stuff and extra food because of his bodybuilding. I paid for all that most of the time too and had to give up my hobby (horse riding) because I couldn't afford it anymore. I also received a some point child maintenance from my child's father at some point over the years and he argued that because we were married that was HIS too and I had no right to do what I wanted with it.

Expert:  Clare replied 11 months ago.
Hi
How much was spent on the kitchen?
Claire
Customer: replied 11 months ago.

Its was a long time ago and as I shopped around for things separately..I think it was approx 3k then another 1k for appliances. Some were already mine when I moved in and pre my husband. I also got the double glazing and doors done which came to approx 2.5k and flooring in living room another £500. But as he was spending money from that pot I was having to add to it again with my own money. He also had nothing to do with arranging or organising anything to do with the house. I also decorated it all on my own and paid for all the paint, plaster, filler, and equipment. The only thing he did was sanded one wall that he had to repair because he had kicked a hole in it. I also bought all new door knobs, light switches and lighting around the house and bedroom furniture and paid someone to build inbuilt wardrobe which meant knocking down part of a wall and walling a door up. I have since re-decorated and re-furbed the kitchen, re-done the bathroom and toilet including all fixtures fittings and plumbing since he left. I also gave him £500 to do the garden while I was away just before our split and he spent it all on beer and partying so I have since paid for the garden to be done and done most the work myself

thanks

in additional he was 2nd card holder on I believe two of past credit cards which he ran up the bill on and never paid.

Expert:  Clare replied 11 months ago.
Hi
That's fine.
Going back to his pension - do you mean the Cash equivalent Transfer value is £30,000?
Claire
Customer: replied 11 months ago.
Yes I think so not sure to be honest
Expert:  Clare replied 11 months ago.
Hi
The first thing to say is that whatever the District Judge said when you were dealing with the debt cannot be relied on when it comes to actually sorting out the matrimonial finances.
However what is also certain is that your ex will NOT get £40,000 from you!
Looking at the figures if the house was sold and all the outstanding debts and costs of sale were paid off there would be equity of £52,000.
When looking at how this should be divided between you the Court will look at the fact that you brought the discount to the property - and also that you alone have paid the mortgage and indeed his debts - together with the fact that he has pension provision and you do not.
My only concern is that I do not think that this will be enough to reduce his claim to nil - no matter how much I would like it to do so
However I suspect that he would be lucky to get 20% of the equity - with 10% to 15% being more likely
So not the best news I could have given you - but much much less than the figure that he was looking for
I hope this is of assistance - but please let me know if you need further clarification
Claire
Customer: replied 11 months ago.

Can he force me to sell? I would be homeless as I do not have a credit rating to start again because of all the debts. If we are looking at say a figure of 10k for him, how much of this is likely to be eaten up in legal fees for him? I am thinking of asking him to settle out of court and get that witnesed and checked by a solicitor. I would like to avoid court and get divorced as quick as possible as I now have a boyfriend...about time!


When we first split up I wrote him a cheque for 5k and said I would give him another 5k in the next 6 months. He ripped it up and threw it in my face. But I also (not sure if I can find it now though) when we had a trial separation, he signed a piece of paper that was witnessed to say he would not try to take the house or anything that originally belonged to me or anything I had paid for if we did permanently split. Would this have any baring in court do you think? He also agreed to a pre-nup when we married in Mexico, again not standing in UK but I have witnesses who can say he verbally agreed in front of the justice there that what was mine will always be mine.

Expert:  Clare replied 11 months ago.
Hi
Was this a written pre-nup?
Claire
Customer: replied 11 months ago.

No, as I was told it wouldn't stand in the UK anyway.


I'm just thinking along the lines of building up a picture of a man who had nothing, took everything he could from me then left me with debts and mortgage that he hasn't paid any towards and now wants even more money from me. I was just hoping this would help my case. As I have said I cannot start again. My house is only the value of a small flat and I cannot get credit because of the debts so I am afraid that I will be forced to sell the house and be homeless.

Expert:  Clare replied 11 months ago.
Hi
Can you raise £10,000?
Claire
Customer: replied 11 months ago.

Eventually I could. Or, if he agreed I could take it out of the equity of the house and if the lenders would let me on divorce. The house is so small and cheap anyway. If I lived in a 3 bed detached I would be happy to downgrade but I cannot downgrade any more than it is already. My house is the only asset I have as I have no pension. I have worked very hard to keep it and went through hell to get it in the first place as I was homeless for a while before. I have brought my child up in it and this man has his own house, his own family, life and pension. I know there is a lot of emotion in this which is irrelevant but I am very bitter at the thought of giving him anything. If he had done everything 50 50 from the start and paid half the mortgage etc since we broke up I would think it was more than fair. He would have no claim whatsoever if it wasn't for ME having a council house and earning the discount :-(

Expert:  Clare replied 11 months ago.
Hi
Do not worry - if you can pay him off by raising a further mortgage then that is what the court would order so you are almost certain to be able to remain in your home
Claire
Customer: replied 11 months ago.

Hi


There was just one last question...my friend has just gone through the same as me I found out yesterday. Her and husband have been apart for 8-9 years, same as me and they were both on mortgage of what was her house before. He hasn't paid anything towards the house and has since gone on to have a family and live in another house. The judge told him as he had set up elsewhere, was paying for that but not paid anything toward the marital home he wasn't going to award anything to him as he had not looked after his asset but shows he could have afforded to if he stared again elsewhere and their divorce cost her £1000. Is this a possibility? I have spoken to a friend who works for the CAB and she said she has never heard of a case where the person 'abandoned' the mortgage and responsibilities yet still was awarded anything from that property. Thanks

Expert:  Clare replied 11 months ago.
Hi
If your friend's ex had another property then this would explain the outcome and I am afraid your friend from the CAB is simply wrong - it happens all the time I am afraid.
It is possible that you will not have to pay anything -but more likely that you will have to pay a small amount - the only way to be certain is to incur the costs of a full court application
Claire
Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: UK Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 26947
Experience: 25 years experience of all aspects of family law
Clare and other UK Family Law Specialists are ready to help you

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