thats great thank you - can i just clarify a couple of points with you though please? The first is, my husband is refusing to pay any of the household bills, and i have only asked him for £645 per month - he takes home over 4k per month and currently has no outgoings other than his car finance and credit cards in his name. I can take care mostly of the bills if he pays that amount, but leaves me none spare. His argument for this is that he is only giving the amount to be used for his children and has stated that if i cant afford the credit card payments (which are in my name but were opened for joint purposes and used for the family stuff, holidays etc), then I should just 'not pay the credit cards'. Which is ridiculous as i normally do the finances and he has approx £1700 disposable income a month. The £645 Ive asked for is so i can pay my bills, but will leave enough money for him to rent an apartment in order that he can have a room for the children (although they would have to share, 2 boys and a girl), but i do want him to have a relationship with his children, just not in the current circumstances and especially when im not allowed to call at his parents house and they wont answer the phone to me (aswell as the fact they took the boys from school and refused me access.)
The second question is, knowing my ex, he will try to argue that im not the main carer because i work. I stayed at home with both the boys and when my little girl was born. however, as i said, my husband and business partner had started a business. when my little girl was 6 months old they begged me to come and work for them (im a bookkeeper) and i started working 2 days a week. Throughout the months as the business grew, my husband made me work full time. and currently i work mon to fri, and have childcare for my daughter, until september when she starts school. Im working at home and have her in nursery 2 days a week, and we have a family member who comes here and looks after her 3 days a week, while i sit at the table and work. He never looked after the children, never brought them presents, wrapped them, did christmas and birthdays, refused to even brush their teeth on the rare occasion when i was ill for example, and as i said, never got them up and ready for school or nursery and never took them to bed, did their homework etc.
Will be be able to argue that im not the main carer because i work?
Hes been looking up fathers rights, but he doesnt have the full picture, hes insisting he has equal rights and time with the kids. which hes not having at all. He is spending all his disposable income by going out every night. since he left a month ago he hasnt given me any money, although as the mortgage comes out of his bank account which he knows, i hope he has enough left in it to pay that bill.
sorry for more questions, its just very difficult to find out what rights i actually have, it doesnt seem like there are many men out there who want to have their children overnight so often and refuse to pay anything towards the house that they live in with me.
There are no assets except for my car which i fully paid off. i did have 2 cars and he sold my family car to his parents behind my back about 2 months ago.
he has 2 cars, still both on finance and refuses to get rid of one of them to free up some money, the finance payments are £375 and £269 per month.
The mortgage is an interest only mortgage, but again, a couple of months ago, the ISA that we had for the repayment part of the mortgage which ends in 15 years was cancelled (just before christmas) as our company had some cashflow difficulties. He says that in my monthly bills i am not allowed to 'allow' for the £700 per month that i would need to put by to pay for the house when the interest only mortgage runs out. He just stated that although i would be about 55 by then, that i would just 'have to get another mortgage' which i wouldnt be able to even be passed for, i dont earn enough now to qualify for a mortgage on this house. the mortgage (and capital as we have paid nothing off the value we borrowed) is 160k.