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Clare
Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: UK Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 29033
Experience:  25 years experience of all aspects of family law
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I have a Non molestation order against me. My ex partner and

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I have a Non molestation order against me. My ex partner and myself were having our troubles but she wanted to end the relationship where as i wanted to work through if only for the benefit of our 3 year old son. I refused to leave the house and so did she but she seeked advice from a solicitor on how to get me out of the house. Just before xmas we had a row and she called the police and asked for me to be arrested. I was given a simple caution for grabbing her as she was screaming at me. I stayed away from the house for 5 days to let the dust settle. In that time she went to the domestic violence unit and made plans to get the non molestation order against me as well as an occupancy order. I was not told prior to her getting the molestation order that she was trying to obtain one. I had no chance to defend myself and in fact she told me it was an occupation order she was taking out with no mention of a non molestation order. I was told this on the morning of her in the courts. Since then I have enough evidence to prove that what she put in her witness statements and what she told a judge is lies. She has met me and been in my detached residence uninvited less than a week after she told a judge she was afraid to be anywhere near me. There are countless other occasions i could mention but basically i just want this order lifted as even the police think this order should not be in place based on all the evidence. My ex is solely interested in the house and money and this is the reason for the non molestation order because i refused to leave initially. I even have her on recording saying it was the only way she could get me out.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: UK Family Law
Expert:  Jo C. replied 1 year ago.
Hi

Thank you for your question and welcome to Just Answer. My name is XXXXX XXXXX I will try to help with this.

How can I help with this?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

Hi


Basically i just need to know if there is a way i can get the non molestation order lifted and if i am in a position to defend what was put in the initial witness statement by my ex partner.

Expert:  Jo C. replied 1 year ago.
Well, of course you shouldn't be on it. This is classic female abuse. Women like her just use these orders as an instrument of abuse and waste the resources of the police enforcing it when it suits her. That doesn't mean you can be removed necessarily.

When was the order applied for?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

The order was applied on december 17th 2012 and is due to run for 12 months. the conditions of the order state that i am only allowed to speak to her for the sake of arrangements with my son. I am also not allowed within 100 yards of the family home. She told a judge that i left the house and that i moved into my mothers old place. This is a blatant lie as she knew the house is in a complete state of disrepair after a flood.

Expert:  Jo C. replied 1 year ago.
Did you agree to this order?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.


FOR JOMO1972 No, I was unaware of it until it was handed to me the day after she obtained it, by her brother. On the day she obtained it she actually told me she had got a occupation order. There was no mention of a non molestation order.

Expert:  Jo C. replied 1 year ago.
Ok.

This is more of a family question then. I can help you with the criminal aspect but not the family.

I've passed this onto somebody who can help.

Customer: replied 1 year ago.

FOR JOMO1972


My apologies but i don't understand where the family aspect and the criminal aspect meet.


Does my ex's behaviour come under criminal or family? Does my request to overturn this order fall under criminal or family?


Thanks

Expert:  Jo C. replied 1 year ago.
The request for overturning it is a family matter.

Everything else is criminal.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

FOR JOMO1972
Can i actually do anything to have my ex charged with wasting the authorities time and also for lying to a judge.


Thanks

Expert:  Stuart J replied 1 year ago.





I have been asked to look at this for you.

You do not deny grabbing her it seems.

 

It is possible perjury but to be frank I wouldn't even bother raising the issue as it is unlikely to make any difference.



Even if you get the order lifted and move back in she will make up future
allegations and get another one, so I am not certain what you want to achieve.
This has been to court already to fight the orders and it appears that you
agreed to keep the non mol.



The police might agree with you to your face BUT they will not help you in
court.



Sorry

Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Hi
Thank you for your question - I have been asked to assist.
Can you explain how the order is currently limiting your life?
Claire
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

The house in which i now reside was in a completely uninhabitable state at a time my ex told a judge it was mainly habitable. It had flood damage, no kitchen and central heating and had a large whole in the ceiling. In the months after I have tried to do the works necessary on the house on a very limited budget. I am unable to visit my son in his natural environment and it has been difficult to have him with me because of the works needed on the house.


I agreed to keeping the non molestation order but this was because my ex's solicitor threatened to have me charged with breaching it because we had met on a few occasions.


 


My ex is also threatening to stop me seeing my son altogether because of the DV she claims happened.


 


I would like the order lifted if only to prove my ex has lied and also to stop her from hiding behind this when it somes to our son

Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Hi
Just to check I have understood correctly at the Return date of the Orders you agreed to the Non Molestation Order being made - but no Occupancy Order was made is that correct?
Setting aside your understandable frustration that the order should never have been made how is it effecting you at the moment?
Claire
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Hi
On the day we went back to court i was armed with video evidence and emails etc which proved my ex had actually showed no problems meeting me and that the whole affair was a ruse to get me out of the house. We didn't get as far as the chambers but instead the 2 solicitors agreed a deal in which my ex did not pursue the occupation order but because i was advised by my solicitor to accept the deal because my ex's solicitor was pushing to have me charged for breaching the order on the grounds we met and spoke about things other than our sons arrangements.
I reluctantly accepted but was frustrated because i did not feel i had breached the order. my ex has since tried to have me charged with breaching the order a further time but the police did not pursue her claim after my evidence.
It is affecting me in so much i see far less of my son and the house i am staying in is not habitable in the main and is certainly not fit for my son to stay.
I did not agree to the non molestation being made. i did not know about the order until it was served on me. I went to court to defend and try and overturn it but we never reached the chambers and in hindsight i regret not pushing to have it overturned but i was concerned with the threat of receiving a criminal charge.
A criminal charge would affect my work massively and i feel as long as this order exists on me my ex will try and get me arrested again.
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Hi
Please confirm that you do not mean to return to the house?
Claire
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I do not plan to return to the house to live for fear of my ex accusing me of something else but i do want to be able to visit my son there and collect my belongings. I am worried that the fact an order has been taken against me and i have been unable to defend it properly could go against me in the long term.
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Hi
The fact that you attended the last hearing and consented to the Order being made means that you cannot now challenge it.
More to the point the existence of the Order will not go against you - but suddenly challenging it now could.
The court is well aware of the fact that many such orders are not necessary and therefore set no great store by them - unless they are breached.
Even if the order was lifted seeing your son at the house would NOT be an option and any collection of goods should be agreed between the solicitors and dealt with on that basis - not by you simply dropping in to collect them
I know that this is not the answer you wanted but it is realistic
Please feel free to ask for further clarification of you need it
Claire
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

Hi


When we went to the court in January the order was already in place and had been for a month. I did not consent to the order. I was told i could have been in breach of it and face a possible criminal record if i tried to get it lifted. In hindsight i wished i had pursued it now given that my ex has tried to hav me charged again for breaching it. She was unsuccessful and it is this that has now given me the courage to want to get it lifted.

Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.
Hi
I am sorry but the hearing in January was your chance to challenge it - and you did not, there is no chance or re-opening it now.
The fact that your ex is making repeated fruitless attempts to have you charged with a breach will work for you and against her.
Continue as you are doing and all will be well
Claire
Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: UK Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 29033
Experience: 25 years experience of all aspects of family law
Clare and 2 other UK Family Law Specialists are ready to help you

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Clare
Clare
Solicitor
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25 years experience of all aspects of family law