I currently have a joint residencey order for my 4 year old with my ex husband.If he is making the arrangements in this order impossible, do I need to go back to court to have it reviewed and changed ?
Province/Country relating to question : Northern Ireland
Formal residencey order to try and alleviate the issues however not working. Ex husband keeps threatening me with full residency due to me asking for flexibility due to work commitments. He is unemployed and has never contributed financially to the upbringing of the child since he was born.
What exactly is he doing?
He is demanding that I drop off the child to him on his days and if I do not do this then he is refusing to take him to his private nursery on his day and I have to pick the child up from him. Apparently it is only fair that I do the running as he is unemployed and I am being unreasonable. I am always expected to accommodate his last minute requests and his forgetfulness. On the day he is to take the child to nursery apparently the child is too sick to go or he forgot what day it was.
I did send a response but it seems to have taken me back to this text box, so I will try again.
The ex believes that due to him having no income it is up to me to transport my child to and from him on his set days. There is a cost to me for this that I am not prepared to absorb as as I said he has never contributed to the upbringing of the child since birth. On the day per week the ex is responsible for taking the child to nursery, on a regular basis the child is either sick or the ex 'forgets' what day it is. This week he text me to ask when i would be collecting the child at 8.30am. He said he was not heading that way that day. he is constantly breaking the childs routine which is disruptive. I find this unacceptable. The court order states the ex is my first port of call for other dates due to my job but when I ask he can never assist. I hope this is sufficient
Thank you. On these facts he has little chance of getting for residency. On the contrary, you probably have more chance by virtue of the fact that he is refusing to take them to nursery on the days that he has the children. The fact that he has never paid maintenance for the children is irrelevant with regard to contact although I appreciate how annoying it is.
Could go back to court and get the day's changed but bear in mind that the court will not want to work around your routine or his but will only look what is best for children. The court is only interested in child welfare. You can get the court to order who drops who off when.
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I appreciate that maintenance is irrelevant to contact. What I want is to ensure if I do take this to court again I will not be wasting my money. This has already cost me in excess of £6k which I owe as he cleaned me out before hand. It all seems so childish and quite frankly I would be embarrassed taking this to ocurt but if it is the only way to resolve then i will. It is the childs welfare I care about. He has a routine that i have ensured is kept to for 3 years and the ex is constantly disrupting it in every way. He does the opposite of what I ask.
He keeps threatening to take me back to court as his 'brief' says i am being difficult. He is making everything difficult and i just need to know if i just have accept this fact or can the law help me stay sane. It is a constant fight, with constant threats etc
I cannot guarantee that by going to court you will not be spending money without getting a result. I know exactly how you feel when you say that it seems so childish but bear in mind that he is the one who is spitting his dummy out (from what you say) then you simply want regularisation.
You could call his bluff and let him take you to court (although, as I said, on these facts he will not get full residence) and then by way of opposing whatever he applies for make your own application for whatever you want. Remember that his lawyer only knows what he tells. In most cases, he will be economical with the truth.
PGD Law. 20 years legal profession, 6 as partner in High Street practice
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