Shouldn't he be offering to help pay the credit card debt in my name since I haven't run that up on my own? It's been used when there's been a shortfall since he is unable to have credit owing to his credit history issues (he regularly misses payments or.they're late as he spends money eating out and drinking, a bit of gambling). Also, when we consolidated debts into mortgage a percentage was for debts he had run up when he was younger and could obtain credit, 2 car loans and a large credit card bill. Money will be tight and I feel agressed at paying off on my own. Over child maintenance paymeny, which will be minimum, shouldn't he be making a contribution to the debts he's leaving behind that will ease my future monthly budget? Thanks

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Claire, the money to my Father is repayable. Currently costing an interest only payment of £135 pcm

Thanks for that Claire

So, the court wouldn't look favourably on his proposition then? If we summed up the family debt by means of:

what's outstanding on credit and store cards (one of them is for Burtons - his suits and shoes)

and a percentage (to be determined) of the mortgage as his debts are rolled up in it

Would it fair to say he needs to pay:

1. Half of the credit card debt, which would reduce my monthly outgoings? If by monthly payment, would it be half of the minimum payment on each of the cards?

2. A payment towards the mortgage to cover a proportion of his debts?

Also, am I entitled to half of the £8K from the will - he says he intends to use this to set himself up on his own as he is not taking any possessions from the house.

Thanks very much

Kirsten

Claire, thanks
He says he will pay me £50 pcm towards credit card debt for 5 years (???) but denies the card is a joint debt! Frustrating but to be expected I guess. He thinks he's doing me a favour continuing to pay for the sofas even though when my Father helped us out he was given the money to pay them off but spent the money on I don't know what - can't prove this now though (and lied about it for a good few months until he missed a payment and I had to help out). Do I stand much chance of getting half of the inheritance or is it a long shot? Would I need to prove what debt has been added to the card? Although a large part of it is in favour of Tesco he says this could have been spent on anything - even though he knows it's shopping - not toys, clothes or any else that Tesco sell.

What is the likely cost, ballpark figure, on drawing up a Separation Agreement?

He also wants our 2 year old son to sleep in his new residence once he gets settled for one night per week. However, he knows this makes me nervous as husband does not usually wake if our son cries as is a heavy sleeper, snores loudly (!) and is also a drinker. Until our son is old enough to sleep in a bed which he could and would get out of in the night to go and wake his Dad I would not willingly agree to this. I am very upset to think that our son could and probably would wake some nights and cry until very distressed. I can't understand why he would want our son to go through this. I promote my son and his Dad having a relationship but my son's wellbeing has to surely come first? What can I do??

Thanks, XXXXX XXXXX see I've got a fight to get a fair deal. We are unlikely to agree terms, what would a likely cost be for the courts to decide?

If we were to sell the house in negative equity and we were £15k short on paying back my Father. Would my Father lose the money or would we both be liable for £7.5K each?

Re the drink problem - he's in denial - so would struggle to prove that one too - what happens then?

Kirsten

Thanks for all your advice :)

Best wishes
Kirsten