my daughter is renting a property in her name with her 2 sons, in january 2012 her new partner moved into the property with her.2 weeks later her new partners ex insisted his 3 children should move in as well. 5 months later after repeatidly getting abusefrom his ex, the behaviour of her partners children has been greatly affected by this and my daughter thinks it would be better to be living with their mother, my daughter has been left to be the main carer of these children and has to take them to school, take them to appointments and looks after them during the school holidays, their mother does not want them back as she is happy that someone else is doing her job for her but my daughter still has to endure abuse from her in the form of threats and saying my daugher is just her childrens skivvy.the oldest is playing truant from school and a letter has been sent from the school to say she has been falling behind with her school work. the oldest son is regularly suspended from school for violent behaviour and my daughter feels that this is two much for her to deal with but their mother refuses to take them back, what should she do.
Province/Country relating to question : england
HiThank you for your question and welcome to Just Answer. I will try to help with this.What exactly would you like to know about this?
HiDoes your daughter wish to continue in the relationship with her partnerClaire
Yes, the relationship has no problems other than the strain it has on my daughter receiving abuse from the ex and obviously the behaviour of his children and his reluctance to discipline them which has been frequently discussed. Her partner and his three children are not named on the lease of the rented property and her rental agent has asked for her to do this and based on the situation she is obviously very reluctant.
HiI can understand her concerns but this is essentially a relationship problem.If your daughter no longer wishes to take responsibility for the children then her partner needs to find an alternative home for them - it is not your daughters responsibility to do so and she should certainly not add her partner to the lease if she does not want the children thereClaire
Where does the mothers responsibility lie in all this as she is not willing to take them back or accept any responsibility for them. My daughters partners home is with her but their mother has her own place but just refuses to take them back
HiBoth parents have the same rights and responsibilities with regard to the children and their housing and careClaire
Can't he insist they live with her as he is unable to do school runs and obviously work commitments mean he would have to find child care etc as my daughter is not willing to continue to be their main career anymore. The mother has had them live with her before my daughter and their father began a relationship
HiHe cannot insist they live with her if she does not wish to have themIf he does not wish to care for them either then he will have to discuss matters with Social Services I am afraidClaire
My daughter has asked me to ask you, what grounds are acceptable for your children not being able to live with you
HiAcceptable to whom?Claire
HIIs her partner willing to give up his children?Claire
Her partner doesn't but she feels it much easier for everyone concerned as my daughter tends to be the main person who provides for his children's child are needs. I wondered what grounds social services would base for a partner to be able to say they can't look after their children. For example her partner works long hours so looking after the children alone would be impossible. Whereas his ex partner and their works school time hours and therefor there is no valid reason why she deems herself incapable.
HIThis is not currently a matter for social services.If her partner is no longer wishing to have the children in his care then he will have to speak to his ex and reach an agreement with her Your daughters only option is to tell her partner he has to choose between her and his childrenClaire
25 years experience of all aspects of family law
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