How JustAnswer Works:
  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.
Ask Clare Your Own Question
Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: UK Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 34030
Experience:  25 years experience of all aspects of family law
Type Your UK Family Law Question Here...
Clare is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

I will be serving a Non-Molestation Order against my wife in

This answer was rated:

I will be serving a Non-Molestation Order against my wife in the next few days. She currently has one against me as well as a non-occupancy order. However with this advantage she has harassed me both at work and at my flat and there is nothing I can do, hence I have applied for one myself.
I will need to serve the papers to her as they came in the post today. I will use a neighbour to serve them. The question I had is that in the post I received two documents 1. Non-Molestation Order which I serve to my wife. 2. Notice of proceedings. Do I also serve this document to my wife? I also noticed that they have not included my original application for why I did this, is that normal? lastly can I add a further document which lists all the things she has done to harass me all year, so that the court and my wife have everything for the day of the court hearing (I assume I also send a copy to the court as well if I do give my wife such a document? Thanks
Hi - It would be more sensible to arrange for service by an enquiry agent who will provide the necessary affidavit as well. You need to serve both the papers that you have been sent. Do not serve anything else - if you want top add anything else (and there is little point in doing so) then send it separately by post to both your wife and the court. Claire
Customer: replied 6 years ago.
Hi Claire, thanks again. I'm just confused as to why the court made me do 3 copies of my application and yet they did not send that with these two sets of papers? Cheers
Hi - Yes the application should be served - Phone the court ans ask for a sealed copy (it has to be a sealed one) Claire
Clare and other UK Family Law Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 6 years ago.
Thanks so much Claire. I will hold off on serving the 2 sets of papers and chase the court first thing Monday morning for the 3 copies of the original application form, so that I can add one to when I serve papers to my wife
HI - You are welcome - although if I am honest I think there are better proceedings to spend your money on! Claire
Customer: replied 6 years ago.
Hi, If you knew the full history, you would do the same. There are always two sides to a story. Mine is that I made many mistakes this year on someone who has done nothing but lie, used me, my money and my children to hurt me as much as possible. I try to remain positive, and at the anniversary of the non mol against me, I will now refuse to stand down. I will fight even if it takes the rest of my life to show the true colours of my wife and how evil someone truly can be, just as importantly I will also focus on making sure my girls get the best of everything. Cheers
Hi - I understand that - its just that I think there are more effective actions you can take! Claire
Customer: replied 6 years ago.
Can you elaborate please, any help would be awesome
Hi- Just to check that I understand the situation. There is a great deal of acrimony betwen you and your ex but not yet ant divorce proceedings and no steps have been taken to deal with the financial issues is this correct? Claire
Customer: replied 6 years ago.
Hi, You are correct no divorce or financial proceedings, as yet. But in my defence I gave her the whole year to work things out. My date of giving up was on the Anniversary of the Non Mol. She promised she would not renew and basically stabbed me in the back. We have a house that was bought with the money from when my father passed away. I want to proceed with the divorce and also have the headache of this Crown court case regarding the breaches to deal with. I will be defending myself as well, no legal defence team as I cannot find anyone who is interested in my case other than to make money out of me. My wife also has a SPA business that was not bothered about, but as she has used me so much, I will be going for half of this, hoping that I am entitled to half. So yes I have so much on my plate and need help, however I will refuse to spend a lot of money which at the end of the day is my kids money. Sorry to sound a bit harsh, not intending. Just a bit annoyed at the first solicitors I had. Wasted so much money that I did not really have on them and having talked to 3 more, also found them money hungry.
Hi - No need to explain - what you need to do is move matters on and start being proactive rather than reactive. the marriage is over so issue a petition based on her unreasonable behaviour. Do not go over board on the petition - three or four short allegations is fine; we have already discussed a strategy with regard to the children, and once the divorce is under way you can apply for the finances to be dealt with. The non molestation order should not give you any problem - all you have to do is limit your contact to very basic communications regarding the children - so leave t be and get on with ending the marriage. Claire
Customer: replied 6 years ago.
Thanks Claire, it's a shame you live so far away. Can you possibly email me your contact details, if anything it may be worth getting some constructive phone consultations and advice from you. We can also discuss your rates. Cheers
Hi - Sadly we are not allowed any contact outside of this forum - but please feel free to ask any follow up questions. Claire
Customer: replied 6 years ago.
Hi Claire. Called court yesterday and they were sending the original application in the post for the non mol. I have not received that today, was hoping to give her all the forms (Non-Molestation Order and Notice of proceedings along with my additional statement tonight. Shall I give what I have tonight and the rest when it comes? reason I ask is that the court date is 12th Nov. Thanks
Hi - All the papers have to be served together. Please please do not serve her yourself - that is just giving her ammunition to use against her - it will only be £90 to get an enquiry agent to do it and it will be money well spent. Claire
Customer: replied 6 years ago.
Thanks so much for the quick response. Ok I do see your point, but that is such a waste of money. I was going to ask my neighbour who lives next door to my wife (he is approx 50yrs old), to serve it to her on my behalf, as I am only allowed to go to the end of the drive way, approx 7m from the main door. I can then video it on my Iphone as proof. I just don't want to waste money, when that can go towards my two girls. cheers
Hi - PLEASE DO NOT DO THIS - you are just asking for trouble and believe me the court will not be amused. If you feel you must get the neighbour to do it (very very very bad idea, do not be there and DO NOT film it - such a video will not be proof of service as the court will not view it - but it will be a breach of the order made against you. Your neighbour will have to swear an affidavit of service which will need to be sent to the court. Getting it done properly is not a waste of money - it is showing the court that you at least are putting the children first. Claire
Customer: replied 6 years ago.
Hi Claire, ok, I will call a service agent tomorrow. Thanks so much. You are truly an awesome person :0) If there is anything IT related I can help you with, please feel free and ask, as that is my expertise
Hi Thanks for listening (and the kind words) good luck Claire
Customer: replied 6 years ago.
Hi Claire, I finally received the correct paperwork from the court on Friday. I have managed to get a Service Processor who will deliver after the weekend. I am also going to do what you mentioned about rules ref our two daughters. Furthermore I will also state that only my wife or me can pick girls up from school or after-school club. Is that ok? reason I say this is that my wife neglects the girls quite a bit by constantly going out and dumping the girls with babysitters. By stating rules for picking girls, I can then compromise with her when I have personally checked out the babysitting myself. What do you think?
Hi - You don't have the right to do this - and frankly it is not reasonable - unless you have evidence that your ex has arranged for them to be collected in the past by someone unsuitable. Claire
Customer: replied 6 years ago.
HI, ok, just wanted the legal view. My concern was just to make sure that someone suitable is picking the girls up, as they are quite often dumped on the 15yr old step daughter or now recently adult babysitters as I said that is was very unfair that a 15yr old should be constantly watching, feeding and bathing them. Luckily for me, the after school club age limit is 16yrs old to pick my girls up. Will leave the lockdown from picking them up for now until I have reason to be concerned. Thanks again
Hi - Much better idea! Claire
Customer: replied 6 years ago.
Hi Claire, just wanted to update you that I went to court and my Wife has decided to fight the Non Mol, which I think is strange as it is serving the purpose of her staying away from me as she has already served a Non mol on me. Anyway, she has instructed solicitors and they have 14 days to produce their report along with information they are chasing the police for. She is trying to involve the case where I breached her Non Mol she did against me. I basically breached it and we have had to go to court over that. In summary I have pleaded Guilty to two charges and Not Guilty to 1. Currently awaiting to see probation officer to give my side of the events and my general life style before I get a fine or so...
Back to the Non Mol I have served to my wife. The confusing question is that while I am waiting for the next court date, I am not too sure if the Non Mol against my wife is in action of not?....
. What I mean by this is that I have yet to receive any paperwork on it. All I have so far is a Court Letter stating that the respondent "my wife" has 2 weeks to submit evidence. The police have 2 weeks as well, as well as 7 days to apply for a discharge or vary ref the respondents complaints. I have until 23 Dec. Final hearing anytime after 8th jan....
..My wife in the mean time is not replying to my text regarding the kids, because she thinks the Non Mol is active against her..
.. Secondly, she is getting her sister to respond to me. Who I do not like as she has been very nasty to me from day one and is now pestering me even when I have said stop texting me, can I report this to police, as I do not want her sister to continue to pester me?
lastly, I have video evidence that I need to give the court, with my wife coming to my flat and having a chat with me and then getting intimate, will this be ok? I also have video evidence of abuse from my step daughter against my little two.. Thanks and sorry for going on for so long
Hi - 1. There is no order unless the court made one - but she has no doubt be warned not to contact you at all. 2. If you and your wife cannot contact each other you will have to deal with her sister whether you wish to or not. 3.The video evidence will not be acceptable I am afraid,.Claire
Customer: replied 6 years ago.
Hi, thanks for quick response. I have no doubt that the solicitors might have warned her, so fair enough. 2. I want to charge her sister with breach, but will have to wait until court order is in effect. For now I have emailed my wife stating that all communications with her sister will be ignored. Do you think I should do formal email stating that I will only communicate to her about the kids via her parents, solicitor and herself? I refuse to talk to her sister as they both know how I feel about her. Trust me, her sister is a very nasty person and I think they are doing this deliberately to pester me
Hi - Frankly I think you are making matters worse for yourself and playing into her hands. The sister is not breaching any order - she will not be covered by the one that you are applying for . Respond to any messages that are necessary and ignore the rest. Sort out the children arrangements and do not communicate on any other matters. Claire
Clare and other UK Family Law Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 6 years ago.
Hi again, can you please let me know what is the best way I can get my wife's criminal records. I want this presented at the Non Mol I am doing against her. Thanks
Hi - Do they relate to any assaults on you? Claire
Customer: replied 6 years ago.
HI, no it is more to bring out her character from the past as she does have a record. I want to show the court about her dishonesty....

I also want to get her medical records from the hospital which will show that she did drugs and too much alcohol, this will again help me in showing the court about her true character. Any ideas on this too?. Cheers
Hi - Neither of these would be looked at by the court in relation to your application as they are not relevant . The court would only make an order that these be produced within Children Act proceedings. Claire
Clare and other UK Family Law Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 6 years ago.

Hi Claire, sorry to bother you again. After careful consideration I want to go ahead and drop the charge against my wife for the Non Molestation order I have placed against her. My deadline for my witness statements is 8th Jan, with a full court date mid Jan. I have all her solicitors papers, but yet to read them. You were right that I should not waste my energy on this, it is very demanding and stressfull. I still love her and for the sake of our two children I want to try to keep everything as peaceful as possible, therefore I feel it would be better to drop the charge. ...

The question is, will the court have any issues with this? I will simply explain that I still love my childrens mother and want to try for a futher 6 months to work out a peaceful solution. Thanks and sorry to bother you on New Years Eve.

Hi - You need to withdraw your application, to avoid any award of costs against you you need to agree this with her solicitor. You should write to the solicitor on tuesday and say that you do not wish to make matters worse and so wish to withdraw the application and ask them to agree on a no costs basis. If you both agree then the court will have no problem - but you must warn the court prior to the hearing, Claire
Clare and other UK Family Law Specialists are ready to help you

Related UK Family Law Questions