I am sorry that you have not been helped yet. I just came online and saw your question
First, the ABS light is a separate issue and I would need the fault codes store in the ABS control module in order to help with that
What you are describing in the transmission is either a shift solenoid, TP sensor, or there is an internal pressure issue, possibly debris in the valve body or pump. It needs to be test driven with a scan tool hooked up to see if either the shift solenoid or the TP sensor is acting up when the transmission tries to go into 3rd gear and repaired as needed.
If no erratic behaviour in the shift solenoid or TP sensor, then pressures need to be taken to confirm pressure issue and valve body and pump inspected for debris and repaired as needed
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