Hi, welcome to JA,
The EFI or MAIN relay is behind the driver's kick panel in the cab...see the illustrations below.
Well it's definitly something that's happed to other 22RE engine's, but it can be one in a list of problems. You see, by spraying ether in there and the engine runs means it is definitly not getting fuel. We now know it's not the fuel pump becuase you replaced it, and if you got 12 volts to the fuel injector connector that means the fuse is good...so the problem must lye in the computer, or power to the fuel pump, or pressure from the fuel pump. Do you have a pressure guage to test fuel pressure? If there is no pressure you need to test for 12 volts at the pump while cranking the engine. No voltage to the pump means a bad COP (Circuit Opening Relay)...which powers the fuel pump. If the fuel pressure is good, tand all else has checked good you need to verify the injector puse with a Noid Lamp (found at most auto tool stores), if no injector pulse the computer is bad (also shown in the illustration below)
Not in the back of the truck...and if you checked all that i've stated above the truck would be running. Let me opt out of this question so other Toyota experts can take a look and see if they can help. Thanks,