My son had joint custody of his 8 y/o son.. split custody 3/12 days per wk, until school age, then every weekend. During that time my husband and I had our grandson at least one, sometimes two overnights a weekend. my son passed away, suddenly, in December and my grandson's mother (they were not married) just told us she is planning to be married (we are in NJ). We have provided much support both physically and emotionally for this child. He has suffered a great loss in losing his dad, and we feel (know) this would be harmful for him to be taken away from the only extended family he has, he currently lives w/his mom and maternal grandmom. There are other issues that concern us..Mother is collecting SSI for mental disability, and we fear she is unaware of the detriment this would be to my grandson. He is very close to his 2 cousins, and also has a half brother who is 3 who he used to spend every weekend with when his dad was alive. He is very emotionally attached to my husband and I. We are very concerned that this move will not be good him. He will be taken away from the only support system he has had since infancy. He has a room at our house w/clothes and toys and considers it his "other home".. besides his dad's and his mom's. Is there any recourse for us to ensure that he can stay in area, especially now that he has lost his dad..he will be losing the rest of his extended family. Mom has no siblings, so no family except for maternal g'mom in whose house he and his mom currently reside. We are just looking into options, knowing that he was traumatized by the death of his dad (he was alone in house w/him when he passed), trying to prevent any other trauma to him. We have good relationship w/mom, just concerned that when she is not in area, there will be no support for her. we have been there to help in situations, when she was hospitalized for mania, etc. There is no abuse per se, mom loves child, but is very childlike herself and we feel is making a decision based on herself and not his best interests. any suggestions you can provide would be appreciated. Whenever he leaves our house to go home, he gets depressed..can only imagine what this move will do to him. we are not looking for custody, just regular visitation as it's always been.
Mom is on meds for bi-polar, not sure what else, but says now her mother won't let her drive her car b/c she's on pain meds. don't believe she abuses, but has had some addiction issues in past. don't want to harm relationship w/her, but have my grandson's wellbeing and safety at heart. if she stays in area, we can be supportive of both her and my grandson..until he is an age where he can make his own decisions.
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