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P. Simmons, Military Lawyer
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Experience:  Retired Marine Corps lawyer and Veterans Services Officer (VSO) with 12+ yrs. of experience.
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Military Abandonment Questions

Abandonment laws vary from state to state. Many people are unaware that most states do not allow abandonment as grounds for divorce. To learn more about abandonment and military abandonment, you can ask the Military Experts for the answers to your questions. The Experts answer a variety of questions related to abandonment. Below are five of the top abandonment law questions answered by the Experts.

If a couple isn't legally separated, but the husband is deployed overseas, can the wife claim abandonment in order to get more money?

If you are deployed, it wouldn't be considered abandonment. Your soon to be ex-wife can ask the courts for money, but there is no guarantee that she would be awarded more. However, if your command tells you to pay her more, then you will have to comply with the order. Because you are obligated to offer some support to your spouse, and you are paying, you should be in the clear as far as payments. During the divorce, your spouse can request alimony or child support, but if there are no children and you have been married a short time, the court will usually not award these types of support.

In North Carolina, how is abandonment determined?

North Carolina determines abandonment by show of intent. If a spouse claims that they have been abandoned by their spouse needs to show three factors; (1) one spouse brings cohabitation to an end without justification, (2) without the consent of the other spouse and (3) without the intent of renewing it.

If the spouse can show all of these factors have been committed by the other spouse, they will be able to prove that they have been abandoned. There is no set time line on abandonment. If several days to a week or longer have passed, and the spouse can prove the three factors have occurred, they can claim abandonment but will have to hire an attorney to do so.

If a soldier is in Iraq, but lives in Washington, how can they file for divorce due to abandonment?

There is no need to claim abandonment as a base reason for divorce. Washington is a no fault state and you are only required make an allegation that there is an "irretrievable breakdown of the marriage". To begin the divorce, you need to file for a petition for dissolution of marriage in the county that you live in. If you are overseas, you would still list the address that you consider your home.

In TN, is a person expected to pay alimony to their ex if they abandoned them?

Tennessee law allows abandonment as grounds for divorce. The courts will make their determination of alimony based on which party is more at fault. If the couple has not been married long, alimony is generally not awarded. The court may ask for some form of temporary support for your ex-wife but if you have been abandoned by your spouse, the court may decide that you don't have to pay any support.

In Illinois, can a mother terminate a father's parental rights on the basis of abandonment?

If you have evidence that the father has actually abandoned you and your child, under Ill. Law, you can try to terminate the father's parental rights on the grounds of abandonment. You will need legal help from an attorney to go before the judge on your behalf. You may also want to file for child support. The state will assist you in receiving child support, but will not help you in trying to terminate the father's parental rights. If you wish to apply for child support, you can contact Child Support Services (CSS). A case worker in CSS will help you file out the paperwork. Once you have filed the appropriate papers, the state will force the father to pay child support.

Abandonment of a spouse can lead to many legal issues. Many questions arise that require an experienced insightful view. Even though your friends and family mean well with their opinions and suggestions, you want to know your rights and you need the answers from someone who is familiar with abandonment law. The Experts can answer any questions that you may have regarding abandonment law in an efficient and experienced manner.

Ask a Military Lawyer

P. Simmons
P. Simmons, Military Lawyer
Category: General
Satisfied Customers: 11862
Experience:  Retired Marine Corps lawyer and Veterans Services Officer (VSO) with 12+ yrs. of experience.
11181181
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Recent Abandonment Questions

  • I received a memorandum of reprimand recently from the 76th

    I received a memorandum of reprimand recently from the 76th Operations Response Command, MG York. I spent 30 years in the army, reserves, active and AGR components.
    I entered as a PFC and promoted to O-5 in 2011. I have completed Command General Staff College, Combat Lifesavers Certification, earned 5 (over 300 points) badges, several ARCOMs. AAMs and two MSMs. Additionally numerouis above COM evaluations. I have many Letters of Recommendations and and have done quite well as a single mother of two during the years.
    I believe my former spouse, (prior military) learned of some of my accomplishments and became overly zealous, along with the fact that our daughter refuses, to speak with him, following his abandonment of us. These issues possibly percipitated his going to the 76th with word that I did indeed missdate my DOB, as he learned, by 3 years during my tenure with the military.
    Additionally my "misconduct may result in adverse actions by the Army Grade Determination Review Board", he goes on o state.
    The last paragraph of his memo of reprimand seems to allow for his final decisions to be made on this matter , after I submit any informaition I deem relevant to the issue. I did and admit, that I provide for my DOB to allow me to be three years younger, but I have also retained my military confidence, bearing, mental agility, with the ability to create a positive environment. I did try always to use sound judgement in matters pertaining to the command. I remained physically fit, developed others, communicated well using interpersonal tact and retained domain knowledge.
    All this said, do I have even a prayer to limit my money from being recouped and to retain my current rank? If indeed I can provide OERs. Letters of Recommendations, Certificates of Completion and award certificates to prove that regardless of a three year missdate on all military documents, will this be almost adequate enough for the General to consider, in my defense?
    Your time and advise is appreciated.
    L.G.H.
  • After almost twelve years of marriage to my college sweetheart,

    After almost twelve years of marriage to my college sweetheart, I and our four year old followed my Air Force husband to his assignment in Germany. Within two weeks I was told he loved someone else and wanted a divorce. He proceeded to meet her every night at the club so I reluctantly agreed to a divorce. We went to the base legal office where an agreement was drawn up which, reading it now, was highly beneficial to the military member. We were then sent to a German lawyer who incorporated the agreement in a divorce petition, and I was sent home to Virginia. Yes, I was young and alone and ignorant in a foreign country and didn't even know anyone who had even had a divorce.
    One of the provisions specified that he would maintain two life insurance policies with our son as beneficiary, one being the Servicemens life insurance policy and another with a company which has been taken over by an ING company. Now, both of us are in our seventies and terminally ill. I want to make sure he has maintained the policies, or their equivilants and has listed current contact information for our son as beneficiary. I sent a letter last year asking for information, and it was ignored or intercepted by his wife, and a recent registered letter was refused. He lives in California, our son is in Virginia. I have not seen him in 25 years or had contact for 20 years, so it's not like I've harassed him about this. The decree states that the obligation for the policies is irrevocable and would transfer to his estate and that he is obligated to provide any paperwork necessary for the provisions of the divorce decree to be followed.
    Is there anything I can do to make sure the decree is followed, or was I a nieve believer in an inexperienced and predudiced legal officer. My son really needs the $50,000. He's had a hard life, beginning with abandonment by his adoptive father after abandonment at birth. I'd like to spare him another abandonment issue by not having to sue his father's estate for his rightful due. Soory for the lenght, but it is complex.
  • Good day. I was just served with a divorce summons. My husband

    Good day. I was just served with a divorce summons. My husband left me in August 2005
    without a word. He had not worked in over five years then. His first wife gets half of his pension. We began a relationship while he was active duty Navy E7, he retired w/22 years
    in 1992 and married in 1997. During that time I provided home and most other support. After he was fired from his last job(MicroSoft) in July 2000 we went on Tricare Prime. I am handicapped and unable to obtain commercial insurance. We have a notarized agreement that he will continue to provide elegibility for military health insurance and I will pay for it
    for both of us. Obviously that is immaterial to him as most responsibilities always have been. Do I have options or recourse to protect myself? He has continuously been with other women since he left, I have not been with any men either in or out of a relationship.
    How do I get insurance? Can he be obligated to pay for it since he is responsible for my
    losing it? I live in NC and he is in VA but had me served by attorneys in NC. I need to know what rights I may have for assistance. Incidentally he abused his daughter sexually and was forced to leave the Navy or go to a classification not requiring security clearance.
    What do I need to do to protect myself and my property? I have paid the bills for years while he did nothing. He deserves nothing from me and there is a property settlement agreement in place that requires him to keep my eligibility in return for my taking the bills.
    Please advise me how to proceed. Should I file against him in VA for abandonment? Is there an advantage to going there rather than answering the complaint here? I need help and not sure where to get it
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