Hello and thank you for your question.
The issue, if I understand correctly, is what can you take as a tax deduction if you live and work in a different state than your spouse and permanent home.
In this case, you must first determine your "tax home". The tax home MAY be different than your permanent home. If your assignment is permanent in the east coast location, then that is considered your 'Tax Home'. Permanent is DEFINED as you are there to work (east coast location) for more than 12 months or you reasonably anticipate working there for more than 12 months.
If you meet this test and your Tax Home is the east coast location, then visits to your wife and main home are PERSONAL and NOT DEDUCTIBLE at all. No travel and no per-diem allowance is allowed.
If your east coast location is TEMPORARY, meaning it WILL definitely last less than 12 months OR it is likely to last less than 12 months and it has not been more than a year since you started, then travel TO AND FROM the temporary location is DEDUCTIBLE. In this case, you MAY be eligible for a per-diem expense accounting IF you are not reimbursed by the company, for the time you are away from AZ.
As for your unrelated questions about 401k, I ask that you post that as a separate question as it is unrelated to this topic. The site's protocol is that each topic is a separate question.
Thanks for letting us help you today. If you need further clarification before you rate and close the question, please post your question and I will respond. Have a great day!