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If you or your husband work in one state and reside in another state both states have right to tax the income. One for working there and another one for residing there. Many states have a reciprocity agreement with each other that eliminate the need to file tax return for both states. However, there's no reciprocity agreement between PA and DE. You have to file tax returns in both states however you can claim credit for taxes paid in DE on your PA tax return. To claim the credit you will have to attach Schedule G-S or G-L to your PA tax return along with a copy of DE tax return and W2 with DE withholding.
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The fact that your husband work in DE gives DE rights tax the income he earned in DE. PA has flat 3.07% tax rate, DE has progressive tax rate, which means the more you make the more you pay. Yes, it is possible that if both of you resided in DE you would pay less in taxes. Every state makes its own tax rules. If he worked for instance in MD, it would be a completely different story.
Depending where you live in PA, you may also be subject to School district and/or city local taxes that DE doesn't have. Most likely if you combine all your PA taxes, the tax rate is higher than what you would pay if you resided in DE. It also depends on type of income. Certain income that is taxed in PA may not be taxed in DE. When to comes to state income tax you cannot compare apples to apples, it is more like comparing apples to oranges. Some state, for instance don't have state income tax at all (TX, FL) and in some states you would pay 7 - 9% (CA, OH for instance).
Your friends living and working DE are subject to completely different tax rules than you living in PA and working in DE.