HI, First I'm sorry for you loss
Secondly, this really sounds rip for sitting down with a good tax attorney or EA (Enrolled Agent) ... Enrolled Agents don't WOKR for the IRS, they work for you, but have been trained by, and are enrolled in a special program, that lets them work "before the IRS." THis can get you past the folks on the ront lines
(sorry for the typos) ... A tax attorney, who also is an EA would be ideal
IF you want to go it alone (even though you haven't gotten to the point of LEVY or LINE would be to file an appeal ... this also "stops the locomotive" ... and gets you past those front line collectors and to the appeals office .... SEE THIS:
FROM IRS NOTICE 1660 (Collections and Appeal Rights): ... "You may appeal many IRS collection actions to the IRS Office of Appeals (Appeals). Appeals is separate from and independent of theIRS Collection office that initiated the collection action. Appeals ensures and protects its independence by adhering to a strict policyof prohibiting certain ex parte communications with the IRS Collection office or other IRS offices, such as discussions regarding thestrengths or weaknesses of your case."
Once they get the form that starts this process (The collections appeals process) the collection calls and letters stop and you get the chance to sit doen with someone that's reasonable and explain everything at one time ... the form is IRS FORM 12153, Request for a Collection Due Process
or Equivalent Hearing
And here's publication 1660:
I still don't see you coming onto the chat here ... I'll moveus to the "Questions and "Answer" mode ... Maybe that will help (We can still continue a dialogue there ... just not in real-time chat as we can here in "Live Answer)
Please let me know if you want to discuss this more, or have further questions
Again, ... let me know ...