Hi! Welcome to Just Answers! Thanks for asking for me! I will do my best to answer your question!
Sorry to hear about your wife, went through that myself - cost $75k in legal fees alone! Make sure if you get divorced that the attorney you use splits the bill into the divorce and the property settlement - if he does, you can deduct that part of the bill as protection of assets and income, a miscellaneous itemized deduction
subject to the 2% of AGI limitation. That isn't much, but better than nothing!
Chapter 13 would stop the penalties and interest from tolling. I don't know that you would need lots of cash to enter an OIC. The IRS looks at the assets you have. If you are getting divorced, and have very few assets, they will compromise. Also, they can put you on a "not currently collectible" listing, where they won't hassle you. You can start by filling out a Form 433-A. Talk to the IRS collections officer you have been working with.
I have one client who owed $350k in payroll taxes
that they didn't deposit. His company went out of business. He has few assets, and the IRS deemed his account not currently collectible. They said they would seize his tax
refunds for the next 10 years, and then write it off. So he adjusted his withholding
so he owes about $500 every year.
I think that Chapter 13 bankruptcy, plus contacting the IRS collections people to work out an OIC would be your best bet.
I hope this helps! If you have any more questions, please feel free to ask. If you have found my answer helpful, please rate me highly. I would appreciate it!
Thanks again, and have a great weekend!