Tim, OK so help me out here.
The way you stared was that you incorporated a non-profit.
You can form a non-profit organization, as a 501(c) 3 etc without getting tax exemption. TAx exemption is not automatic, except in the case of certain religious organizations.
You have to file for exemption status with the FED. NJ will not recognize you as a non-profit unless you have the tax exempt certificate from the IRS.
It is not to late to file for the tax exempt status.
Without it, you will be taxed as a corporation at Fed and state level;and you have to file a sales tax return for NJ for any sales of services and products if any.
After my explanation, please confirm that:
1. You formed a non-profit organization under 501(c),
2. Did you file form 1023 with the IRS: http://www.irs.gov/pub/irs-pdf/f1023.pdf